doityourself Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I think if people do not have nice things to say regarding a topic that they are reading then they should keep thier comments to thierselves. Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion but when your talking about most topics that are discussed on this site, negativety is not what that person is looking for, they are looking for some guidance and for someone to tell them that everything is going to be okay. I just hope that the mean people on this site never has to go thru some of the things that they are commenting on. Link to comment
jahur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I think if people do not have nice things to say regarding a topic that they are reading then they should keep thier comments to thierselves. Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion but when your talking about most topics that are discussed on this site, negativety is not what that person is looking for, they are looking for some guidance and for someone to tell them that everything is going to be okay. I just hope that the mean people on this site never has to go thru some of the things that they are commenting on. what posts are you referring to? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 They are no more mean than people in real life. And I find that posters are more likely to tell off someone for being mean, rather than becoming bystanders and letting it happen (which is common in real life) Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I think if people do not have nice things to say regarding a topic that they are reading then they should keep thier comments to thierselves. Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion but when your talking about most topics that are discussed on this site, negativety is not what that person is looking for, they are looking for some guidance and for someone to tell them that everything is going to be okay. I just hope that the mean people on this site never has to go thru some of the things that they are commenting on. some people need a heavy dose of reality, the problem doesn't always need to be sugar coated. Link to comment
D_Lish Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 some people need a heavy dose of reality, the problem doesn't always need to be sugar coated. Ditto.......... If people think its bad here, try Plenty of Fish... Youd then know what NASTY and RUDE was... Link to comment
retired1 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Everyone is entitled to thier own opinion but when your talking about most topics that are discussed on this site, negativety is not what that person is looking for, they are looking for some guidance and for someone to tell them that everything is going to be okay. Is it being rude, or is someone saying what really needs to be said? There are times when someone needs the proverbial 2x4 to see what's really happening. To think everyone is going to blow smoke and pretend it's "all good" is unrealistic. Link to comment
deleted-account Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I agree personal attacks and such are completely unneccesary, but sometimes the best guidance is something the person doesn't want to hear. You can't tell someone that everything is going to be okay if they continue to have destructive behavior. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 There was a sticky about this, people can be honest and tell them what the OP does'nt really want to hear without being an * * * * * * * . Alot of the time people just don't seem to be able to grasp how to do that and I see far more personal attacks on people now than I ever have. Its ridiculous. People come here for their support and if you can't talk to them like people you should'nt be here. Link to comment
jahur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 some people need a heavy dose of reality, the problem doesn't always need to be sugar coated. yeah totally agree tough love! truth hurts! can be mis-interpreted as being horrid esp if person wants to hear what they want to hear. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 i don't see a lot of rudeness here? :S Link to comment
jahur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 wish DIY was more specific. maybe we could dispel any doubts..... or was it because no one replied to a certain thread of yours...... that can be deemed as rude. in actual fact it maybe slightly overlooked, not people being rude. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Its not fair to point out other posters names. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 that is true. if you feel that someone's being really rude, report bad post. that's what it's there for. this has already been done before. but if i offended anyone, lemme know! Link to comment
cafecomleite Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 People have a lot of courage hiding behind the internet, to say things they wouldn't in real life. Of course I have been guilty of this in the past myself Link to comment
jahur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Its not fair to point out other posters names. mmm ok cant see how we can resolve it, unless a moderator sets it straight for DIY. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 People don't realise how fragile some of the people who come here are, or how deep the impact of your words could go. Link to comment
jahur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 i put my hands up for being very careful esp to those who seem suicidal. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 People don't realise how fragile some of the people who come here are, or how deep the impact of your words could go. It also difficult because it's hard to interpret tone. I could be yelling at you right now but come off as calm (or vice versa) Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Its so easy to turn "You're being pathetic and way too over the top" to "I think you're over reacting a bit personally" Link to comment
Lucabrasi Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 People are very rude here. some people think that they are dishing out tough love pearls of wisdom but are actually being quite rude. Happens in almost every thread... You can definitely tell who lacks tact in their real social life, based on how they post here. It really bugs me to see people gang up on posters with their 'tough love'. Sadly, the moderators are usually the ones doing it, so there is no filter or 3rd party reviewing threads. Link to comment
jahur Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 It also difficult because it's hard to interpret tone. I could be yelling at you right now but come off as calm (or vice versa) i guess for the savviest of posters on here can intepret to a degree, when i read a thread i read as if i was in peril then read with a normal view etc (as you would do a book) and gauge how and what to reply with of course excerpts from experiences from my life. seems to work Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 People are very rude here. some people think that they are dishing out tough love pearls of wisdom but are actually being quite rude. Happens in almost every thread... You can definitely tell who lacks tact in their real social life, based on how they post here. It really bugs me to see people gang up on posters with their 'tough love'. Sadly, the moderators are usually the ones doing it, so there is no filter or 3rd party reviewing threads. Actually, mods check on other mods. I've taken down posts before because other mods told me I was coming off to aggressive. Link to comment
Mavh25 Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 The amount of times I've had to report people or had to say something myself is stupid. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 i guess for the savviest of posters on here can intepret to a degree, when i read a thread i read as if i was in peril then read with a normal view etc (as you would do a book) and gauge how and what to reply. seems to work I automatically read double question marks ("do you think he's mad at me??) at desperation. Also, syntax is everything when it comes to how I interpret things. A lot of people come off as immature in their writing. It's hard for me to shake the fact that this is the internet where people aren't proof reading. That's my stigma though, not their fault. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I agree personal attacks and such are completely unneccesary, but sometimes the best guidance is something the person doesn't want to hear. You can't tell someone that everything is going to be okay if they continue to have destructive behavior. I totally agree with this. You can't possibly tell someone everything is going to be OK when the signs suggest otherwise. I think it is definitely a case of not hearing what you want to hear. I was actually a victim of someone's viscious tongue (along with the OP) when I gave an opinion that was different from hers. She was very sarcastic, her posts were very bigotted (the thread was about a gay relationship), there was a lot of swearing in them and she had very strong opinions that had to be modified more than once by the Moderators. I haven't seen her on here for a while. I wonder why that is? Still with my own personal experience aside I have very rarely seen other personal attacks. Maybe one or two heated debates but that is about it. Link to comment
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