BF hasa bachelor party this weekend at strip clubs...

This Sunday from about 4 till whenever.. prolly 2am or later when bars close... my bf of 1.7 years is goin to his friends bachelor party... thier rentin a limo n goin to a bunch of different strip clubs...

The reason I am not okay with this: He complains he has no money... I know he has no money... n he hardly takes me out or has been payin for much of anything lately.. its been me.. which Im okay with... but Im not okay with him takin money he allready doesnt have to go out and spend 10 hours in strip clubs gettin drunk givin these girls money. that he cries about that he doesnt have. Ive said this to him n he says I kno I have no money...

I used to work at 2 strip clubs... Ive done bachelor parties... I know how these things go... I am not kewl with him having sum broad all over him with her titties n ass hangin out.... granted, he isnt the one getting married but the girls dont care... they want they money.. so they work everyone... It literally makes me SICK to think that sunday which has always been our day together hes gonna be out all day n night havin these girls all over him, tipping them with money he doesnt have...

Another thing.. hes going to virginia this saturday with his friend to do sumthin n is leavin 3am sat mornin n wont be back till real late... so I lose saturday with him to... we cant even make up sunday on saturday...

Im going to just end it if he goes... cuz honestly.. I dont like how this is making me feel.. he says his friend will get mad n not talk to him if he doesnt go... he just cant wait to go... Im sure his friend would understand.. but he just wants to go... n the other thing is... when hes with me he blatently oogles other women.. so I can only imagine his behavior when Im not around when theres girls that are practically naked shovin thier * * * * in his space... Im not kewl with this at all... how do I deal? Is it worth ending an otherwise awesome relationship? I mean weve had our problems.. but this is just too much. What do I say? How should I feel? Do I havea right to feel this way or am I overreacting as he says? I only havea few days left till Dday so to speak... what do I do?!!?

gosh thats a hard one I mean I would be upset as well to think if he doesn't have any money and he is spending it on them. Ugh but then you would have to trust your boyfriend. You said he oogles other girls so that would be grounds for me to call it off. I couldn't handle being disrespected like that.

In the last couple of days, I have posted the exact topics. One was about my guy planning to go to a stripclub for his friends bday and another thread on his constant comments about how 'hot' other women are. The good thing for me, we have only been seeing eachother a month, not over a year! So, if mine goes tomorrow, I wont see him any longer. I find it EXTREMELY disrespectful to your mate to go against their wishes on a topic like this.

Why would you want another persons privates all up in your face to get you off right before you are going to marry the person you supposedly love? Doesnt make sense to me. And, people say its your 'last night to be single and have fun' uhhh.... pretty sure in your current status as BF/GF you are not considered single and this would not be acceptable, so again, makes no sense to me. Defeats the purpose of getting married to someone you love.

Strip Clubs are a deal breaker for me. He doesn't have to go...

Give him a choice.

A. You

or

B. Getting teased by nasty strippers all night and coming home to nobody.

prolly 2am or later when bars close

You are joking? Bars close at 2am?

You are joking? Bars close at 2am?

they close at like 4am. ..by me anyway.

The money situation is one thing....but its just a strip club. Its a bachelor party, that's guys for you. Don't get all worked up about that part. The $ part, that's another story.

It sounds like there are two separete issues here:

1. He claims he has no money and little time to spend on the relationship, and yet he's going to go to a strip club on your special day of the week and

2. You used to work at a strip club, so you know EXACTLY what will happen.

I think either reason is very legit, and both of them together would make me very angry! I'm personally ok with strip clubs, I've been to them before, but I suppose it's a totally different perspective if you've actually worked in one!

I don't know if you're in a position to give him an ultimatum, though. But you should be honest and clear if you do. Say "This is a deal breaker for me. You oogle other women and this hurts me, and going to a strip club when you claim your broke is just wrong. It makes me upset and if you go, you'll lose almost two years with me."

Then let him make up his mind. If it's truly the last straw, or a deal breaker, then don't back down. And if he goes, stick with it and break up with him. Don't bend.

Honestly, he sounds like a jerk to oogle other women right in front of you!

The money situation is one thing....but its just a strip club. Its a bachelor party, that's guys for you. Don't get all worked up about that part. The $ part, that's another story.

and a lot of women feel the way you do and congrats on that because that is your prerogative and if you and you mate feel the same then that is what matters, no harm done, BUT it is not that easy for the others out there (like me) that has major issues with things like this. It kills me inside to think of someone I love or someone I want to be with going to get rubbed on by random naked women who will do most anything to get their money.

That is what I gather from the OP, so I understand that feeling completely.

and a lot of women feel the way you do and congrats on that because that is your prerogative and if you and you mate feel the same then that is what matters, no harm done, BUT it is not that easy for the others out there (like me) that has major issues with things like this. It kills me inside to think of someone I love or someone I want to be with going to get rubbed on by random naked women who will do most anything to get their money.

I know, my girlfriends feel the same way you do. But its also a little reverse psychology....for me anyway. I don't make it a big deal, and he doesn't really want to go....Not true with every couple, but its worked for me.

I know, my girlfriends feel the same way you do. But its also a little reverse psychology....for me anyway. I don't make it a big deal, and he doesn't really want to go....Not true with every couple, but its worked for me.

HAHA, EXACTLY! I have done that about this issue and other issues, sometimes it works, sometimes not.

Well.... I told him how I felt about it n made it very clear I wouldnt accept that line being crossed... bout him going to the strip club... even if it wasa bachelor party..

Anyways, he tried to reason with me saying that he would take the train up there around 6 or so then be back by 12 or 1... n I duno I just wasnt kewl with the idea of him goin to NYC strip clubs... Ive been to 2 b4 back in the day... thier raunchy shows... so I duno I basically acted likea nutcase sayin I wouldnt be here when he got back if he went... ugh... why did I do that... I duno... so then he finally said fine I wont go... I was happy that he wasnt gonna go but more so I was really upset that he was so unhappy cuz of me... so later on I said to him fine go, hurry up, get ready go.. I was just gonna get over it n give him my wishes as he went out the door... but he just stayed in bed n said no.. so Saturday nyte he slept all nyte.. n we didnt do much of anything... I think hes really miserable that he didnt get to go... but I tried to do the right thing n tell him to go... even tho I really didnt want him to... I duno...

Im just happy as pie inside tho that he really showed respect for my feelings.... I just feel awful inside that he became upset in the process... =/

He doesn't sound like a big loss.