caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 I have a confession to make. Ok like tonight, I texted my girlfriend and asked her if she could talk. She said no. I reply, over dramatically, with "fine". I guess I intentionally try to make her feel bad. I feel bad sometimes after I do it but I guess sometimes it is comforting and I like something about it. I feel so selfish and nasty thinking about this. Maybe it makes me feel secure if I see that she cares about me. Is this common or am I just a freak? Link to comment
Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 no its common i used to do it. its a power thing.......sometimes its sexy when you hurt a girls feelings, makes her show a side of her that seems loving in a sick and twisted way Link to comment
estrella28 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Yeah until she leaves you because you treat her like crap... Link to comment
simply complicated Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Yeah until she leaves you because you treat her like crap... Lol..true. it is normal, I agree with the fact that when you do pull the little guilt trips, that it makes your girl show a side of her that makes you feel secure, because she shows that she is concerned as to why your upset. However, there is certainly a flip side to that coin, if you keep it up, she won't be around to make you feel anything, so try to keep things cool, and avoid this habbit. Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 omg i used to do this with my bf and he couldn't understand why. we broke up. take it from me, stop doing it NOW! Link to comment
Brittney2008 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 Yeah until she leaves you because you treat her like crap... Agree 100% people get fed up and then they bounce to find someone else who doesnt like to put them down. There is a difference between having your feelings hurt by her not wanting to text and then trying to bring her down. I think its a little normal to react like that but just be careful. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 Ok. Cool. I don't do it too often. But I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Thanks. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 I'd try to stop this behavior. Intentionally making her feel bad is counterproductive if you aren't trying to work something out. Read the previous posters responses, didn't work out for a lot of them. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 Yea, but why do I enjoy it? Link to comment
simply complicated Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 You asked her if she wanted to text with you. She said "no". You felt rejected so you hit back by being nasty. You felt like you "got even with her" for rejecting you. It's a power thing. Whoever has their hand on top of the bat wins. I could'nt agree more, it's a sense of pride, but like I tell anyone involved in a relationship, keep pride out of it. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 No offense but that's not it. Link to comment
hers Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 omg i used to do this with my bf and he couldn't understand why. we broke up. take it from me, stop doing it NOW! agreed! i did the same thing to my last ex, and he eventutally broke it off for good b/c i treated him like crap. i never meant to, and i always felt bad after doing it, but in retrospect, i know i did it and i hate myself for it. Link to comment
simply complicated Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 No offense but that's not it. You would be surprised at what your mind is capable of doing without you even realizing it, i'm not saying i'm right or your wrong, but, your doing this to her and you don't even know why,so I would'nt rule anything out, just know one thing, it's wrong, and nothing positive will come of this, so put an end to it, before she puts an end to your relationship. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 You got me all wrong man. You don't know me. She would say nothing other than that I treat her very well. And I do besides every so often I do this. I was only looking for the reason why I do what I do since I didn't know why. Thanks for the advice. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 You probably like to make her feel guilty because it means that she cares. However, there are many other, more mature ways to go about this. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 It's very possible. Link to comment
Raiden Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 You need to learn to stop doing this. Simply put: If your GF says she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't want to talk. Leave it at that, give her the space that she needs. To parrot what debaser said, intentionally making her feel bad for not wanting to talk is counterproductive. Not to mention a little immature. Link to comment
timzter Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 yeah, so stop doing it now. Although it is a common thing trying to make your other half feel bad, i always do that with my bf! but i always apolgised for being so mean. You can't help it! When you like someone its makes you do the crazy!! Link to comment
Hunny1607307342 Posted March 4, 2008 Share Posted March 4, 2008 its like your looking for some sort of drama/seeking attention, its a very common attribute to have maybe part of human nature even. Link to comment
caasiopia68 Posted March 4, 2008 Author Share Posted March 4, 2008 its like your looking for some sort of drama/seeking attention, its a very common attribute to have maybe part of human nature even. Yea.. I guess I do. Link to comment
EF15 Posted July 15, 2012 Share Posted July 15, 2012 I was doing this a little too often, then I finally realized that me acting that way was the reason my gf and I would argue so much. Being in a long distance relationship is hard at any age, but especially at 17 and I'm always wondering what she is doing bcuz I know she doesn't have to tell me everything that goes on so when she tells me that shes talking to one of her guy friends I catch myself trying to make her feel guilty about it saying stuff like "ohh ightt then just text me when ur done" knowing I'm gonna make her mad. But since I brought up this situation with her and talked about it, she'll catch me doing it or I'll catch her & we'll just remind eachother not to start. A lot less arguments Link to comment
Centipede Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 I do something similar. I've noticed lately, that when me and my girlfriend argue, i say things that hint that im going to break up with her, and when she catches on and gets upset thinking I am going to, I enjoy it. Afterwards I feel bad, not because i hurt her, but because I think It's a sign I'll end up like my father (he used to beat my mother):S Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted May 3, 2013 Share Posted May 3, 2013 Thread is 7 years old and the OP hasn't been back for 6 years. Closed. Link to comment
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