Roller Coaster (of Love...)

Didn't mean to throw in a song reference, but the fact that I just did shows me that I'm healing a little. My sense of humor has been gone for the entire month since the break-up and it's one of my stronger qualities. I have only see it once or twice, and it lasted for less than a minute each time. Either way, it's good to see.

Why am I writing? Well, I had a decent night last night. I went for a run even though it didn't feel that great (mentally). I went to my first poker game for this poker league I'm playing in. I wasn't thrilled, but it was good to get out of the house, away from the computer. I came home and watched a show I had on TiVo and talked to a buddy for a little while on the phone. I went to sleep and had the best night of sleep that I've had all month. That's great, right? I guess so... but then came the morning -- the roller coaster. I didn't want to get out of bed. I was thinking of the ex quite a bit. I got up, showered, shaved, and started getting ready for work. As normal, I usually check my computer for any significant e-mails or whatever. I also decided to look at MySpace. I know my ex looked at my page this morning because she's the only one that would be up that early in the morning and she had made a profile change very early in the AM. So, of course I started thinking about why she would be looking at my profile first thing in the morning, or even at all?

I need to not worry about it, but it just makes me think. I know the advice is going to be that it doesn't matter, but can anyone tell me why she's looking at my info? I know why I look at hers! Also, should I post updated pictures like I usually do once in a while, or should I stop doing that because it's just letting her know what's going on in my life. Some background -- when we broke up, she fairly quickly changed her profile to say Single and took me out of her Top Friends. She then deleted the picture of us. She has kept me as a Friend and has left up a picture of a group of her friends that I'm in. Why would she keep me as a friend, and why leave up a picture with me in it?

For anyone that doesn't know, we're still in complete NC -- over 3 weeks now, and 4 weeks since the break-up.

I can sympathize with your ups and downs...

Could she have just checked out your profile because she knows you've been checking hers???

I can sympathize with your ups and downs...

 

Could she have just checked out your profile because she knows you've been checking hers???

I suppose, but there is really no way for her to know that I was checking her profile. I just figured out that it was her today based on it being looked at early in the morning and she happened to update her profile early in the morning. Otherwise, there is no way to really know who looks at you.

My ex keeps me in her special folder and our pictures...She keeps saying she is thinking of me and she says big hugs everytime we chat....very little but she does...

dont overanalyze what they do on facebook or myspace..They are as confused as we are...I am in 3.5mos break up and I go to rollercoaster every other day...even though I have 3 dates going on simultanously.

My ex keeps me in her special folder and our pictures...She keeps saying she is thinking of me and she says big hugs everytime we chat....very little but she does...

 

dont overanalyze what they do on facebook or myspace..They are as confused as we are...I am in 3.5mos break up and I go to rollercoaster every other day...even though I have 3 dates going on simultanously.

Does anyone think it would be better for me to remove her from my Friends? I just feel like it would be taken as vindictive. She didn't remove me totally from her Friends, so why would I go a step above and make it look like I'm taking revenge? I do not talk to her, unlike some people who seem to do LC here.

I see people on this site post one day about how happy they are that they've finally got it all figured out. Inevitably, these are the people on here the following day bemoaning the tragedy of some disheartening snippit of information that came their way about the ex.

Seems like it would be easier for each of us on here to just stipulate to the fact that we are all f****d up right now, that our emotions are totally out of whack, and that we are and will likely continue for some time to be prone to these sudden, drastic shifts in mood. Just par for the course stuff, I think...unfortunately. Trying to convince yourself you've got it all together prematurely, though--now that seems destructive, because you're just setting yourself up for a letdown when one the aforesaid mood shifts comes to reap its havoc.

BK - I finally removed my ex from my friends when he added a new girl...

And it was the best thing for me. Forced me to cut ties and not keep looking for updates. Myspace/Facebook are great for keeping in touch but they will keep you from letting go.

I would highly recommend you remove her altogether, and set your myspace to private. It will hurt at first, but you'll also feel a sense of relief soon enough.

But I'm glad to hear your sense of humor is coming back and that you slept well last night - those are both EXCELLENT signs!

BK - I finally removed my ex from my friends when he added a new girl...

 

And it was the best thing for me. Forced me to cut ties and not keep looking for updates. Myspace/Facebook are great for keeping in touch but they will keep you from letting go.

 

I would highly recommend you remove her altogether, and set your myspace to private. It will hurt at first, but you'll also feel a sense of relief soon enough.

 

But I'm glad to hear your sense of humor is coming back and that you slept well last night - those are both EXCELLENT signs!

I agree w/ L4L.

L4L, nice new pic!!

I agree w/ L4L.

 

L4L, nice new pic!!

Ha, thanks! That was me being bored one day, and with some photoshopping from Cerebellocruciatus, you get the "lovatar"!

My sense of humor has been gone for the entire month since the break-up and it's one of my stronger qualities. I have only see it once or twice, and it lasted for less than a minute each time. Either way, it's good to see.

The sense of humor slowly creeps back, until one day, it is back and back to stay. When it does it feels like such big step in the healing process. You'll even be able to poke fun at what you are going through. Luckily, I found it long before the "acceptance" stage (which I THINK I am moving into right now).

Seems like it would be easier for each of us on here to just stipulate to the fact that we are all f****d up right now, that our emotions are totally out of whack, and that we are and will likely continue for some time to be prone to these sudden, drastic shifts in mood. Just par for the course stuff, I think...unfortunately. Trying to convince yourself you've got it all together prematurely, though--now that seems destructive, because you're just setting yourself up for a letdown when one the aforesaid mood shifts comes to reap its havoc.

Exactly!! I have to agree with this wholeheartedly. Going through it today as a matter of fact.