Am I out of line?

I thought keeping a journal would be silly liike a "dear diary"

I will try that approach. I am so afraid that I might not be consistant with it.

I am so afraid that I might not be consistant with it.

just write when you need too it doesn't have to be a special book or anyting, a simple notebook, even a cheap paper pad will do. The idea is to write out all your thoughts and feelings so that you can express yourself. Just let it all pour out. Writing helps me to get my frustrations out in a positive way, and no one gets hurt Sometimes just writing something down helps so much to release the hurt.

Is writing on here helping you out at all?

I am so afraid that I might not be consistant with it.

 

just write when you need too it doesn't have to be a special book or anyting, a simple notebook, even a cheap paper pad will do. The idea is to write out all your thoughts and feelings so that you can express yourself. Just let it all pour out. Writing helps me to get my frustrations out in a positive way, and no one gets hurt Sometimes just writing something down helps so much to release the hurt.

 

Is writing on here helping you out at all?

Of course sometimes when I can get to the net that is! Other times it is very hard to talk to my real friends when they have other things to do and not listen to my whiny self.

I have a friend like that. What I do : I listen to her, but then only consider 50% of what she says. She is very much a perfectionist and I see in her daily life that this is a difficult way to live. Also, very opinionated...I just let her talk. Often times I will say something and she will argue why I'm wrong. How can someone's personal opinion be wrong? It's your personal opinion, based on your experiences...we are not all carbon copies of each other. Ooops, sorry to vent.

 

Consider not talking to her very often Fantasia and see how that works for you.

Perfectionist or not Muneca these type of people should be able to look at themselves in the mirror and take agood look at themselves. I can why can't they?

Fantasia,

Telling someone HOW YOU FEEL will not make them want to re-examine how they feel.

 

Example:

 

I think that your avatar is ugly. The girl looks sleezy and you have poor taste.

 

Does that make you want to change your avatar? I doubt it.

telling someone how you feel in a sense where you express to them that what they did to you hurts you and you like it to change is that inappropiate way to go about it?

fantasia,

if you give a specific example of something that someone said or did that caused you harm, we can probably give better advice as to how to communicate with that person concerning her choice of behavior towards you

can you remember a specific incident that you feel comfortable sharing?

I read your email to your exfriend, but without having examples of what she did, it is really hard to comment

fantasia,

 

if you give a specific example of something that someone said or did that caused you harm, we can probably give better advice as to how to communicate with that person concerning her choice of behavior towards you

 

can you remember a specific incident that you feel comfortable sharing?

 

I read your email to your exfriend, but without having examples of what she did, it is really hard to comment

 

well for one thing She is always referring to saying things about certain minority groups in a prejudicial racial type of manner. These comments can be harmful. And at first I thought maybe I did not here that right but then my other friends also said that they have heard her say things that they found repulsive and insulting.

That is one example. Now I know better but if you say anything about her ethnicity or her neighborhood like she has complained about mine when she never set foot on my property, she would blow you up on the spot!

 

Is that a good reason one.

When I had cancer treatment I explained to her how I needed to sleep because I was not feeling well then she decides to wake me up foolishly demanding that I speak to her right away! This is when I WAS sick with nausea. She has issues that she rather not indulge people in but she is quick to spell out every mistake you made. Trust me it is a great relief to explain this. It may sound petty but trust me it was a whole lot worse than that.

Well, you're certainly better off without a 'friend' like that. Did she act like this when you were first getting to know her? Why did you become friends in the first place? (did you have things in common)

I stay away from racist and verbally abusive people. I don't need that sort of toxicity in my life.

Your exfriend sounds insensitive and selfish.

Well, you're certainly better off without a 'friend' like that. Did she act like this when you were first getting to know her? Why did you become friends in the first place? (did you have things in common)

 

I stay away from racist and verbally abusive people. I don't need that sort of toxicity in my life.

 

Your exfriend sounds insensitive and selfish.

I met her when I was attending junior college like her .WE were in the same class and it just happened that we clicked. But no, she did not behave like that in the beginning, but it got worse later without me realizing it.

I am still trying to think maybe she was not really bad but then again I can't have someone like her who gets away with murder able to run me over like a truck. I am nobody's rug.

I have to say, I'm curious. You said you sent the email to your friend? Did she ever respond? If so, what did she say? If not, have you heard anything via your mutal friends about what she thought of the email?

The tone of the email sounded like you've pretty much ended the friendship, as if these were your parting words. I don't think from what you've written to her, no matter how justified you feel, that there's anyway she can learn and grow from her mistakes, certainly towards you anyway. Towards others in future friendships, maybe but you may never find out about that.

I'm not having a go at you here. I'm curious about any response, if any, this friend has given you.

I have, or rather, had a friend who four years ago, decided she no longer wanted a friendship. She didn't tell me this, of course, but her behaviour suggested otherwise, in particular, her silence. I'd try to keep in touch, not realising anything was wrong at first, and she'd ignore me, ooh 98% of the time. It didn't take long for me to realise she wasn't responding and when I asked her if I'd done/said something to upset her, I was met by more silence and it wasn't until I asked her another twice if I'd done/said something to upset her, that she responded saying that I hadn't and was getting annoyed at me asking!

The way I see it, if someone's done/said something to upset another, intentionally or not, they need to be given the chance to apologise and sound sincere about it and put things right, if indeed they can. But to completely ignore someone, I feel, is bang out of order.

To this day, I still don't know what I've said/done to upset my friend. She has, on the rare occasion she has responded, insisted that nothing is wrong yet continues to ignore me 98% of the time.

Two years ago, she suddenly 'switched on' and was more communicative. I was extremely wary but continued being the good friend that I feel I am. However, at the back of my mind, I had a feeling she's just as quickly 'switch off' again and that's exactly what she did less than a year later. The last time I've heard from her is February and I have tried every few weeks such as sending an sms etc but to no avail. Granted, she may well be busy but this has been going on for four years now. She is upset with me and I wish I knew why so I can try to but it right but in the very least apologise.

I did say to myself though, that if she 'switched off' again, it would be the end of our friendship for me and this is where I feel you and I are similar. I have this urge to tell her our friendship has ended and send her the poetry I have written about it these last few years so that she knows exactly how I've been hurting but at the same time, I realise that if I did that, it would definitey be the end of the friendship, bridges burned, no open door and no going back. I'm not sure I actually want that but at the same time, I know I don't want her to hurt me anymore by her silence.

I know I have issues when people's response toward me is silence. She knows this and she knows why, too and it's not a very pleasant story but basically, people I believed were my friends, avoided me en mass when my baby nearly died. This was long before my (ex) friend and I became acquainted but this is why I can understand your statement of friends pushing buttons. Somehow, I think she's doing exactly that.

Anyway, I've waffled on enough so I'll be watching this post with interest.

Take good care

Abby

Well would you have responded to me if you had received a letter like that?

Well, you're certainly better off without a 'friend' like that. Did she act like this when you were first getting to know her? Why did you become friends in the first place? (did you have things in common)

 

I stay away from racist and verbally abusive people. I don't need that sort of toxicity in my life.

 

Your exfriend sounds insensitive and selfish.

 

I met her when I was attending junior college like her .WE were in the same class and it just happened that we clicked. But no, she did not behave like that in the beginning, but it got worse later without me realizing it.

 

I am still trying to think maybe she was not really bad but then again I can't have someone like her who gets away with murder able to run me over like a truck. I am nobody's rug.

Yes she did answered the email. It was not very cordial at all. She accused me of harassing her.

Which is really stupid and bizarre. I am not going to take all responsiblity for her behavior wheree she feels she is entitled to walking all over me and disrespecting as if I am a fool. I went through that enough and at this age, enough is definitely enough.