"Ex contacts me after 10 days of NC, why is she doing this??"

[Aboud]

Good morning good people!

 

Ive been In a relationship for the past year and before that its been an on and off relation for almost 3 years.

 

Long story short, all the time during the relationship she would always complain about her situation, family,job etc and i would always support and encourage her and motivate her, but whe she found a good job and i lost mine...I was in the same situation as she was before but when I asked for some encouragement, shed tell me she needed space and started giving me a cold shoulder for 2 months straight, no updating no nothing and blaming me if i asked her something related to her whereabouts or anything, shed start being rude if she was feeling angry or stresses and take it out on me.She started arguing alot and it made me say some hurtful words to her which uptil now is what she told me and made it a reason to breakup with me. I have done so much for her yet this is how she is even after all that. She broke it off 15 days ago and i went into the NC zone.After 10 days she messages me to ask me how i am and told me that she just anted to know how i was. I told her "id be ok, of we were together"...she responds with a " whats that statement for". Im really perplexed as to why shes doing this?, and what should i do now?.

 

Any advice would be helpful as im really hurt and broken after all that.

 

Thank you

[Iamflowergirl]

So my guess is that this is a long distance relationship? If it is and you guys are constantly breaking it off and on, that is unhealthy. Remind yourself in the first place why the relationship didn't work and leave it be. It's clear that after 3 years of dating, you guys failed to reach a deep understanding of each other. She's contacting you now because you're like a drug to her. She's used to having you around to bother her and that's the reason why she's contacting you. Be smart and move on. The relationship will not thrive due to a lack of respect. When your significant one has just lost their job, you build them up, not down. Do you really want to go back to that?

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it sounds like you are incompatible, do not get along and fight and argue too much. Being on/off for 3 yrs is also a red flag that these issues are chronic and never resolved.

 

What was this recent reason she broke up? Stay no contact and block her. Ignore her friendzoning and guilt contact. It will only hurt and confuse you.

 

Rather than chronic on/off consider ending it for good and moving on to someone whom you can get along with .

its been an on and off relation for almost 3 years. made it a reason to breakup with me. I have done so much for her yet this is how she is even after all that. After 10 days she messages me to ask me how i am and told me that she just anted to know how i was. I told her "id be ok, of we were together".

[gebaird]

She may be contacting you because she feels guilty and wants to ease her conscience by knowing you are okay. It doesn't mean she wants to get back together, and based on your description of this relationship you are probably better off without her. Being rejected by someone you love is a pretty awful experience, but staying with someone dysfunctional isn't so great either.