Stop planning the wedding till you are ready to get married. So far, you are still a momma's boy trying to please her. You know why? You are trying to avoid conflict and confrontation after a lifetime of being forced to be stuck in the middle between your folks which is a HORRIBLE thing to do to a kid. Their business if their business, and they should have never vented to you, their kid. Your happiness and feeling of safety should have been their top priority; not to air their dirty laundry onto you.
And, yes, the part of the flight number is weird...that's what a teenager would do, maybe, and nonsense for adults, because it's called cell phones.
And, you both agreed to zero access to others, but you did it like nothing, and no, unless they are paying a lion's share of the wedding, they don't need to know who's been invited at all. Sorry, but you broke your word there, and you don't even see it.
Your future wife's happiness is top priority; not your mom's.
The wine glass thing though; eek, no thanks.