Asenath Waite

Avalon, Here is my advice. In a perfect world, where babies are born to loving families, abortion isn't necessary. In a perfect world, where babies are born without horrible defects such as profound retardation, water in the place of a brain, hearts on the outside of their bodies, abortion isn't necessary. Unfortunately, we don't live in a perfect world. If you have the child and decide to raise it, consider the following. 1. You don't have the income to support the child, and you will most likely live in poverty OR push the child off on your parents. 2. You will not be able to work, because you will be a full-time mother without a father. Again, poverty. 3. You will be devastated both emotionally and physically. You will be tired, overwhelmed, and very angry at the world. 4. Your chances of marriage will decrease about 99%. Men don't like to marry women with kids. Chances are you will be single, or you will have to compromise in a big way, by marrying a loser. He might even molest or abuse your kid. I know this sounds harsh, but this is the real world. Have the abortion and ask the father to help with the cost. Get some counseling afterwards. Start using birth control and stay in school. Never look back in regret over a bad mistake you made.

O.K. Now that we have all the high-brow morality nonsense out of the way about being in relationships "for love not sex" etc. I think we can address the issue at hand. If you are having problems initiating and are experiencing issues with your sex drive, there is something really wrong. It could be one of the following: 1. You are not attracted physically to your partner. Is she overweight? Bad hygene? 2. You are intimidated and have a female equivalent of "performance anxiety" 3. You are going through a sexual identity crisis, and might not even be gay. You can try a few things to spice things up. Rent a lesbian erotic movie. Read lesbian erotic fiction to each other. And I'm not talking about love stories -I mean steamy, explicit sex. Cut to the chase. Attack her when she comes home -be aggressive and keep her on her toes. Something I like to do if I think things are getting a little mundane: I get her into bed and say "tonight anything goes -anything you want." That puts the ball into her court, and lets her vocalize some of her fantasies. You never know what she might be into.

I recently began a relationship with a woman who I am really attracted to. She is not butch at all, and is very feminine, but also very strong and athletic (former college hockey player -not to mention drop-dead gorgeous!) While our relationship is great, I am getting uncomfortable in the bedroom. She is EXTREMELY aggressive, and sometimes very rough. I guess my question is about lesbian sexual etiquette. I have dated girls for about 10 years, but I've never been into fisting, anal toys, really rough sex, etc. I don't want to seem "prude", but last night she really hurt me (almost ended up in the hospital). What can I do? If I object, I look like a priss. Is this normal stuff?