Seraphim

I hope you are feeling better soon !

Her mattress comes Sat. She can sleep on that. I am throwing her in her room and holding the door shut . 🤪🤣

Yes, that is the issue. She is totally out of her element now with no friends here and no sisters in law here etc. The seniors programs have wrapped up because summer starts next weekend . Today I went to Walmart and she went some place else so I had an hour away from her . Last night was horrible . She never goes to bed before 11:30 and when she takes her hearing aids out she leaves them whistling and screaming for an hour before she plugs them in because well she can’t hear them . So I had ZERO alone time from so I stayed up until midnight. I get into bed and she slaps me and says who the hell is that. I bite back who the Eff do you think??!! Oh sorry she says. Then when I JUST drop off to sleep she gets up to go to the bathroom and wakes me up. I had JUST fallen back asleep and she comes back from the bathroom and you guessed it , wakes me up. So I went back to the couch and at 5 AM my cat is licking my face and eating my hair and wants food. So today I have the “ unmitigated nerve “ to be grouchy. 🙄Because I had to get up for work at 6:30.

They are close, yes. But she has 17 grandchildren and great grandchildren. She had an identity as a business executive for several decades but spent 2 decades raising other people’s kids ( foster kids) and 28 years as a happy wife to my step dad. I think in part what you say is true. She is lost in what to do with herself because she is so so physically limited.

She was like this much much much more when my step dad was alive. I would call her and she would literally hang up after one minute . She would be like , “ talking to N , have to go byeeeeee” But since he died she is Velcro.

I had my appointment check up and even though my A1C was up a bit 7.2 and I said well I hadn’t had a kitchen for six weeks which was true and I had to eat out two meals a day for six weeks so it blew me out of the water . He said he could see that and he knows I will do great and be ok. Everything else was fabulous. My thyroid was perfect. My vitamin and mineral levels were perfect. Blood composition was perfect. He said I am in excellent health for my age other than diabetes. He your blood work is always very very good and you must care about your health. He did a mental health check with me recently as well and I said I am less anxious than I have been in decades and I am learning to have great boundaries and he said “ awesome ! You’re amazing “ and said my new medication is much better for me. He renewed all my medications for a year.

She even wanted to meet my doctor . 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️Mom! I am almost a 60 year old woman. You don’t need to meet my doctor . FFS.

I think that is it. It is depression about not having her husband so she is clinging to me with a death grip. Combined with the fact she can barely hear with hearings aids let alone any other time and she can barely walk so she feels massively vulnerable. That feeling along with depression isn’t a good combo. She does have medication for that but it is the tiniest dose , the smallest that medication has. Personally, I think it needs to be increased and she needs to continue therapy. She won’t leave me for 5 seconds. She even insisted on going with me to my doctor’s appointment yesterday which took 5 hours just there and back and complained the ENTIRE way about her neck and back from the car accident and it is too warm for me ( it was 16 C) and on and on and on. I thought I was going to get some freedom, but nope .

On Sunday my mom says I was all alone on Mother’s Day last year. I didn’t think so as I have never done that ever. Well , this morning I find the pictures from last year on my phone. I was there. My husband was there. My son was there. My brother was there my brother‘s girlfriend…… yup so alone. Do I tell her ? 😂

Awwwww soooo cute !

This morning I told my mom that her character assassination of me was not ok. I am glad I spoke up . Work is going ok.

So, yeah, my feelings are really hurt and she expects it is just going to fluff over . Nope .

And she says that in front of my son who is totally shocked his mouth hanging open and he says , Nana, what the F that is a horrible thing to say to my mom.

Well this devolved quickly . Because I didn’t “ buy her a treat” and I said well you ate an entire large chocolate bar and a can of nuts I didn’t think you would need a “ treat” I am apparently “ like my father” and make her feel worthless. I am ***ing FUMING . She says saying you ACTED like your father in that instance and you ARE like your father are different therefore okay to say. No the F it ain’t and there couldn’t be a bigger insult to me and it was done on purpose . Now I am “ mean” and she went for a drive .

I don’t think there is a “ lowest form of man” unless we are talking about child molesters and murders. I think there are a lot of people that have accumulated damage over their lifetime .