LootieTootie

Pretty sure that is a standard 8 hour shift

Clearly you arent happy and your friends validate your feelings. However, I think you need to not be influenced by your friends' opinions. You need to think for yourself. If this relationship isn't working for you, speak up. If he isn't listening or dismissing you and not working towards a mutual resolution, then don't waste another minute of your life on someone who isn't filling your cup.

Funny, not long ago I posted how my husband and I finally met in person at a bar after gaming for a couple of months. We both were not dressed up but I think we both were presentable. If it had been a "date" I definitely would have actually done my hair. But it wasn't, it was called a meet. I had it in topknot (like Mulan) and I just remembered thinking "I should have done my hair" the whole time we were together at the bar because I was thinking this man was hot (and he still is!) He did tell me he always liked my hair up and its what he saw when we were gaming online so I guess you can say, it worked out for me. I think people can connect easily online - Ive done it many times where I meet a lot of gamers and we just clicked ONLINE, and then I actually hang out with them in real life, and they are just different. Its the same... I have staff under me who can write the most wittiest and funniest email and respond to me on Teams with the funniest messages in a split second, and when I go to lunch with them, they're just.... quiet....awkward. I'm like "hey where's that funny or smart arse side?" So when you meet in real life, it can be so different. I think thats what happened and it comes down to compatibility. First impression is important to you, no question ask. This guy... not so much. I am also a firm believer that when you meet someone, you just know. I think when you saw him, you just knew this isn't the guy for you.

I think I'm with Batya because we seemed to have the same experience with "bad boys." I was an angst teenager (I started the emo look before it was a thing) and I dated the bad boys who ditched class regularly and smoke weed under the bleachers. One of them created his own gang and I remembered thinking "cool" and it turned to be just him and his friend in the gang LOL. But I was into the guys who weren't afraid of getting into fights and didnt care about anything except being stupid and philosophical all at the same time SMH... I did end up realizing that these bad boys were just... boys. Then after that, I was into manly man 😁 That wasn't such a smooth journey too but luckily I found one who isnt afraid of wearing his heart on his sleeves.

That video might leave someone who is having a hard time with dating even more discouraged. But then I see Catfeeder mentioned this, and I'm definitely in agreement with everything she said. So maybe I'll check his other videos 🙂

I agree with everything you said ShySoul. However I think a grown woman talking to a teenage boy for this long and finally confessing her age, is a big red flag. It sounds like they haven't met but just been talking, and she talks a lot about her ex. Yikes and yikes

I realized that the older I get, life gets more in the way. I used to wake up early and go to the gym at 5am and have a shower at the gym, blow-dry my hair, put on make-up, get dressed and go work. That was my self-care for many years and I love the feeling - having that drive every morning. As I got older, I got in to this sedentary life and theres really no internal drive - just wanting the weekend to come. And even when the weekend comes, theres functions all the time. So what I do now is I think ahead of time. If I know for certain that theres going to be a weekend where 1) I don't have any functions to attend, 2) not have any visitors, and 3) my husband and the dogs are out camping - I put on my calendar that's my me-time weekend. I plan what I am going to do all weekend. I also make sure that means no TV, no responding to texts unless needed and no responding to work calls and emails. I also get lucky if I get to be on here and post sometimes. It's hard when I see a thread I want to respond to, but can't for days. Sighs...

So she was talking to you when you were just 15 and she was 26? Isn't that weird to you?

Good. This is not the guy for you. Too many flags.

I finally watched the video - had to come back and watch it. I think for the most part, he really made a convincing argument. We brought this up about men's low testosterone levels. He touched on this and went into a bit further, even calling men nowadays "unhealthy." There are also truths to females loving bad boys, and truth in what he said about the modern landscape impact on courting/dating - as in why men don't or can't really court/woo a woman as much as they used to back in the "good old days" I do like the video, but I don't think I would recommend it to anyone single and is out there dating with intention.

You really should talk to your wife now that the dust has settled. Ask her, if she thought this was okay? She has a childhood where her mom physically assaulted her dad, and a sister who does the same now. There's a pattern here. Ignoring it would just be foolish.

I am firm believer people come into our lives for a reason. Life is a journey with lots of ups and downs and you have to embrace all of it. I think you embrace it and thats why you like reminiscing. Saying that, I know a few people in my life I can't bring up about their exes, because they arent over the hurt, pain, or contempt.

Is he in therapy? I think your concern is valid. I honestly don't think you should do anything that might trigger him because you don't know. Sitting down and talking to him is the first thing you both need to do. Secondly, if he reacts in a way that he is not fully healed from his trauma, then I think you know the answer.

Just depends I think on the person. I'm turning 40 soon and I can tell ya, my apple playlist when I first got an iPod, which is like maybe when I was 23 or 24, its a bunch of sad songs but this is around when I broke up with my first love, and boy did I loved that guy! The heartbreak was real and took me years to recovered (I still have dreams of this man! Nothing bad or sexual.) When I look at my Apple playlists from back then... I really could see the phases I was going thru. Full disclosure, looks like I had a "pot-smoking" phase from some of these old playlists (no longer a pot-smoker or smoker of any kind 😁)