virtutis

Daywalker you certainly do not understand what you read. History has shown that women were treated as lowly and as concubines. thereforeeee, women were given a new position through the institution of marriage. Truth as I have said does not change regardless of time. We have changed the meaning of truth to allow us to get away with not being responsible or with being selfish. No matter how you'd like to twist the idea to support your causes. Marriage is a mutual offering of each other's body's to each other. You give yourself to the other. The husband takes up the responsiblity to protect and honor his wife. The wife takes up the responsiblity of taking care of her husband. It is a mutual sacrafice for each other. Your twisting of the truth opens the beautifulness of marriage to be destroyed by selfishness of it's over when I no longer get nothing out of it. Hence the rise in divorce, because people no longer no what it is to be responsible for others and family. That is why we now have 60 yr. old children walking around. Religious undertones or not.

Women have a way of perceiving when there are other people interfering. You know what I mean? Listen to that voice. It may not always perceive the right stuff but it wakes u up to something happening. For ex. when my husband and I were barely dating he was untrusting of me when I was completely honest with him. I got tired of it and went out on him with an ex. that I was planning to hook back up with and letting him go. Years later after we married he got it out of me that I had cheated on him but he denied ever cheating on me. Well, as my feeling would suggest I knew he was lying but had no proof. I finally got it out of him that he actually cheated on me before I cheated on him.(Only cuz he can't keep his stories straight a year later). My point is that voice told me he was lying and it was right. There was no proof nor suspision until he denied it.

Firstly, was this broken trust started before the marriage or during? I'm answering as if it were during. Above all I'd like to mention that if we build a marriage upon ourselves, it's like building a house on the sand. If we build a marriage upon God, we build a marriage on stone. Yes a marriage can survive but it depends on the two of you. We often think that whoever screwed up has to work at it while the other sits back and thinks if they'll accept it or not. The truth is that it is still a marriage and it still takes two. Even though you didn't cause the mistake you are still a partner and need to help the other through the mistakes. It seems unfair that you should bare a weight for something you didn't do but life was never made fair. All we can do is make it as best as possible. When you went into this marriage it was for better or worse. Well here's the worse. Now you need to prove to yourself that you can make it through the worse. A strong marriage is made from pulling through the problems and not just living in a fantasy where everything is always sunny and happy. Pray for strength and wisdom and compassion for your partner who has fallen in weakness. You are in it to help each other, not to abandon at the sight of weakness.

I feel so old. N-e how. First, find out this guy's interests. When I was younger I would play basketball with the guys. I mastered it to the point I was getting picked for teams before other guys. So find an interest you have in common or wouldn't mind having in common and let him see you doing or talking about it. Smile at him when you pass him but you don't have to say anything. Sometimes the mystery is more intriguing. If you know anybody who knows him ask about him. Ask if he's with anybody and if he's interested in anybody. Lastly, if all those are clear. Get somebody close to him to mention you think he's cute or are interested. Most guys are scared of rejection and it makes it easier for them to come up to you if they know there's a possiblity more than a rejection. Good luck.

Here's my advice. For most girls or at least my friends we are attracted to the one's that can make us laugh, are sincere, and treat us right. Now, not all this is evident at once. It takes time. Sincerity takes time to see. Picking up girls at the mall isn't the best place either. We're usually focusing on clothes or chatting with our friends to notice to much else. However, there is the bad boy image. If you're not naturally a bad boy don't try to change into one cuz eventually the bad boy image wears off and girls will try to find someone who's doing something with their lives. The girls around your age are still immature, there are exceptions, but the majority are. Don't be in a rush to find someone. When you least expect she'll be right there staring you in the face.

I didn't mean to sound harsh, it was what I perceived from your description. You touched more upon the physical aspect than from the intellectual aspect. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted. There truly is no way to know when you're dealing with that type of person but to have some control over emotions and to keep your eyes open. Listen to family and friends over your relationships because they can usually see what you don't.

You stated the most evident in a relationship that will not work. You were comfortable. I hate to say this but when you are comfortable you're not scared of losing someone or them of you. I'd count my blessings it was 2 years and move on. You need no therapy but the ability to realize it didn't work and there's nothing I can do about it but continue with my life. Don't waste your time pondering it because I can assure you he isn't. Have more dignity than to continue wasting your time on someone who wasted yours. Not always is there something wrong with you or him but it wasn't meant to be. The truth is that your description of your relationship was more physical and shallow than of meaningful. Learn from this one and try not to follow suit in the next one.

I don't agree. Marriage is till death do us part. If that feels like forever than I guess it is. Marriage was instituted for several reasons. First, for the procreation of children for God. Second, it elevated a woman's status as partner when many were concubines. Thirdly, to stop from the spread of diseases. There are more reasons but those are the most important. Truth does not change because an hour has passed or a year or a century. This concept that times are different thereforeeee the truths of ages passed don't apply to us is nonsense. That is why there are so many divorces. We have given ourselves a reason to be selfish. If the situation does not work for us we leave. Selfish. I have fallen out of love. Selfish. I can't deal with the constant nagging. Selfish. You ask why all these are selfish, because they all start with the question of me and I. When we start asking ourselves what can I do for this marriage we'll realize how much disorder and destruction we bring into another's life out of selfishness. Marriage is about a union not about me. Two become one not two stay two. There is also the subject of the children. " My children can't be happy where I'm not happy." Marriage is not about one person but about many. Marriage is sacrafice for the partner and for the children. A child needs both mother and father. How beautiful marriage would be if the husband and wife sacraficed for each other. I leave with something my mother once told me. " A marriage is like a puzzle. There's no 50-50 but in some areas 80-20, 40-60, 30-70. Just as the pieces are odd-shaped so is the union of marriage.