Why Compatibility Matters More than ‘Ideal' Attributes in Long-Term Couples

An enduring relationship is founded upon a multitude of important values and in-depth understanding of your partner—these components are the soul which builds an intimate connection with longevity. Although a list of certain criteria may seem appealing on paper, the concept of compatibility goes far beyond ticking off items from a list, as having a compatible relationship means having the necessary characteristics to be able to thrive within that connection long-term.

In the current dating climate, it can feel overwhelming trying to define what makes someone perfect for us, as it's become increasingly easier to fall prey to the philosophy that someone better is always ‘out there somewhere'—an idea that couldn't be further from the truth. When it comes to marriage, or any committed relationship for that matter, finding and committing to a compatible partner is at the very core of a successful and fulfilling partnership, thus leaving the notion of an ‘ideal' list of attributes far behind. there are certain values people like to find in a partner, and those attributes should be favorable, but those qualities that spark a quiet need within us cannot be found in any list.

Compatibility remains in sight when two entirely different people gather together, understanding their individual opinions and parts, coming to agreements and compromise. Long-term compatibility requires respect, willingness to understand and forgive, to communicate, collaborate and connect on levels beyond just the physical.

Compatible couples develop a language with one another that helps them battle hard times, laugh, cry and grow old together. A compatible relationship helps to shape us through some of the lowest points of life, serving as an anchor of support amidst these tough times. Harmonious couples remain in their comfort zone while growing and evolving too, which helps them to become even more self-sufficient and within control of their own emotional stability, required to thrive and uphold a healthy relationship.

Those who make decisions on partners based purely on what tickles their fancy risk living a life of temporary pleasure without any real commitment, allowing dissatisfaction and lack of understanding to seep into the cracks, eventually leading to its demise. Maintaining compatibility means growing; new perspectives should be mutual as similarly incompatible couples grow in vastly different directions.

Incompatible partners will eventually face conflicts due to their different opinions, thoughts, and beliefs. This type of dynamic often leads to a toxic relationship where both people are continuously afraid of the other person, leading to power struggles, dominance issues and resentment.

Compatible couples know how to lift each other when they're feeling low, embrace one another after an argument and mutate with change. They're aware of their distinct quirks, whether they're seen as flaws by others or not, and they accept and love these traits anyway. A compatible relationship isn't rigid; it should allow either partner to build and develop individually, while still making sure they have each other's backs until their last days.

It's true that finding the right kind of compatibility is something that takes work, and a lot of effort, to maintain over time. It requires both partners to be emotionally available and capable of facing their own inner demons before being able to truly embrace one another in a completely non-judgmental, acceptive way. It somewhat passes through the rollercoaster of feelings and it needs periodic basking in the warmth of love and affection.

Compatibility is the sought-after trait needed when searching for a partner whom you want to continue a life-long journey side by side. Seeking out an ideal list of attributes is ultimately superficial and leaves no room for connection—something that's invaluable within a successful relationship. It pays off to focus more on living in the present moment, being mindful, and respecting the things which make someone unique and with whom you can comprehensively share your authentic self.