As we travel through life, it is inevitable that relationships will bring us feelings of stability, happiness, and even love. It is these relationships that give us a feeling of home; like our destination or a small huddle of stones surrounding the warmth of a winter fire. Unfortunately, the safety that comes from relationships can fool us if we're not careful with our assessments. Just because something feels like home doesn't mean it is without its red flags or alerts.
Not all red flags are easy to spot like the snapping of a flag in a heavy wind. Sometimes, relationship red flags don't feel like red flags when they feel like home. That is why understanding the true spirit of the warning signs is especially important because the constant presence of them can give us a false sense of security when they're intended to bring us clarity and put us on alert.
The first thing to be aware of is the type of relationship red flags that feel like they are brought up out of habit or predictability. The type of thing where your partner might buy you a surprise gift simply because it is your birthday or a holiday. These barely detectable flags can paint the picture of a partner who is trying to meet certain expectations rather than go the extra mile.
Red flags can arrive in the form of a ‘check-in'. This is when one person may need too much ‘checking-in' or communication due to fears of abandonment or feelings of instability in their relationship. Some partners may need too much approval to the point where they are asking multiple times a day how the other person feels and how they would rate the relationship on a scale.
Red flags also sneak in disguised as insecurities. Partners that may be jealous, easily threatened, or overly sensitive may steal away precious moments just to ask questions of reassurance. Always needing to focus on themselves and searching for every little sign or indication of infidelity can suffocate a romance.
These relationship red flags can creep up unnoticed making it easy to miss them if we're not aware and have some knowledge of them beforehand. Having an understanding of what red flags look, do, and sound like allows us to keep our guard and pay closer attention when the moments present themselves. Being away from what is considered normal behavior and expectations can throw us off guard since sometimes it can feel like home.
Using discerning judgment and understanding what to watch for can help protect us and prevent us from overlooking the more subtle reminders that our partner may not be on the same page as us. While these flags may feel like home, they're present to give us an opportunity to understand our partner a little bit more clearly. To take the time to learn who they are and what they need. In this way, we can be empowered by the presence of relationship red flags, to figure out what we want, what we can handle, but also make sure to communicate our needs and wants with the other person.