Learning to Cope With Constant Change In Your Relationship

Being in any kind of relationship can be challenging, particularly when it comes to having a friend who claims to “hate” your personality. It's easy to internalize negative opinions and feel discouraged, but it's also important to take a step back and look for healthy ways to move forward in your relationship.

Though hate is a strong emotion, it doesn't mean there aren't any solutions to explore. Deciding what to do in this situation may become a frustrating balancing act, as each of you will confront diverse fears, hopes, and values that must be addressed. It requires complex communication, self-reflection, and active understanding of how other people may hold beliefs and perspectives that vary from yours.

When you're stuck in a no-win situation with a friend who has clearly expressed dissatisfaction, first identify the source of those feelings. Ask yourself if there are any values or feelings of yours that the other person might be responding to, even in an indirect way.

Understand that their response to your behavior may be their own way of trying to adjust to a changing dynamic in the relationship. Oftentimes, when people can't make sense of things they said, they respond with strong emotions. If this is what’s happening in your case, try being patient and understanding until both of you can reach a better understanding.

If your friend is sufficiently candid, it’s possible to explore the issue together. You may both benefit from discussing different aspects of the relationship that you each think need adjusting or clarifying. Equally, it's worth considering how you are both communicating to one another.

Try starting with these three steps:

1. Understand what your own needs are.

2. Understand where your friend is coming from.

3. Show respect for each other's views.

It's also important to respect yourself. If you feel that your friend does not have your best interests at heart, take some time to think about why this may be.

It's important to remember that deep-seated feelings of hurt can block your ability to communicate effectively. If there are underlying issues in the relationship, address these by taking a few moments to talk about things beyond the surface level.

Developing a sense of respect and trust for each other despite differences of opinion builds the foundation for a stronger, more secure friendship. This can ensure both of you remain open to constructive criticism, new ideas and ways of solving problems together.

In the end, being able to establish a balance between two distinct perspectives is key to moving forwards in any relationship. Aim to find a middle ground where you can discuss things objectively and honestly. The goal should be two-way understanding that enables your friendship to last, while also respecting your individuality.