Flourishing with the Single Life: Debunking the Myth of Married Bliss

The world can be a cruel place, often offering no solace to single individuals. A relentless barrage of messages sent forth from society drills into their brains the idea that they will only be truly happy if they get married and settle down. Married couples are seen as the gold standard in almost all areas of life, in what can be described as ‘the fallacy of married bliss'. Even when some research has indicated it is possible for singles to have healthier, more satisfying lives than those who are married, this dangerous misconception continues to endure.

The decision to remain single for one's entire life is an emotionally charged one, reinforced by the certainty that whatever route is taken, there are consequences and repercussions to cope with. To be seen as successful by society and many within one's own social circle, getting married and settling into a traditional nuclear family is the preferred route. To choose otherwise can bring judgement and criticism.

Because marriage is perceived to be the ideal state a person can aspire to, single people often feel they are somehow deficient, falling short of the expectations foisted upon them by what can appear to be a renegade, uncaring society. It is common for those on their own to see the ‘happily marrieds' as having better lives, marriages as an escape from a lonely, lonesome existence. The root cause of this inability to accept the single life is thought to be rooted in fear – fear of the unknown and fear of being alone.

Aside from the misconceptions and myths surrounding single life, there are also real life scenarios that add to the pressure of committing to marriage. Single people have to strive for career success, whilst those in a couple have the advantage of shared resources and income. Research has been conducted that showed married couples tend to fare better economically, with single people earning significantly less than those in stable marital arrangements. This can lead to feelings of failure or worthlessness.

Moreover, interactions between singles and married couples are often coloured by unequal power dynamics; unmarried individuals feeling they must win the approval of those already in commitments. Such feelings aren't aided by statistics that indicate that even non-familial relationships last longer when two married people are together, thus making the single's path to healthy relationships all the more challenging.

In the quest for greater meaning and purpose, many single people search franticly for someone with whom they can join forces, take the dangers of living on one's own off the table and what is supposed to result in a better state of happiness. Unfortunately, more often than not, this route does not bring the desired outcome. In actuality, what single people too often find is that being in a relationship does not necessarily bring about the promised bliss.

The reality is that married life does not guarantee happiness of any kind, nor does it automatically grant better well-being or a ‘complete' circumstantial life. People can very well be flourishing in their single life, finding peace, calm and contentment in the solitude. What benefits individuals, whether they are married or not, is meaningful connections with other humans, developing healthy bonds and nurturing solid relationships.

Being in a settled, committed marriage may put one in a better position to serve as a role model for children, be financially secure and enjoy physical intimacy, but that does not equate to joy and peace. embracing the single lifestyle will benefit one's sense of purpose and well-being if it is done of one's own accord, not under the compulsion of societal conventions.