How Can I Recover Emotionally After a Breakup?

Dear ENA, I know that I'm not alone in feeling the emotional pain of a broken heart, yet here I am seeking solace from a stranger. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years and 3 months. Everywhere I go, it appears as if she is still by my side. I see her face in the crowd everywhere I look, I expect her to answer my calls, and I still feel like I need to account for my plans to her. It's like a ghost of our relationship still lingers on.

We ended things mutually and stayed friends, but the breakup shook my world so much that I simply can't seem to get a grip on reality anymore. I am in a constant haunting state of sorrow and depression. My will to work has dropped, I lack motivation, and my mood is so low that I can barely bring myself out of bed. I feel like these things won't ever get better and remain stuck in this bubble of loneliness and aimlessness. Most distressingly, I don't think I'll ever get over the sadness and can't imagine myself having similar feelings to someone else.

The problem is, I'm not sure what to do. How can I ever recover emotionally and start the healing process? Is it true that I won't be able to find love again without going through this stage? How can I learn to let go of my guilt or at least deal with it in a way that isn't entirely soul-crushing? There seems to be a grey fog of uncertainty that I just don't know how to navigate.

I understand that I have to fix myself and learn to cope with heartache, but I feel lost and desperate for guidance. Could you please provide me with any advice that could possibly lead me to a place of clarity?

Dear Lost and Desperate to be Found,

You are not alone in your grief and confusion. Breakups can be harder than we anticipate—they are a disruption of the life we fashioned ourselves with someone broad enough to fill that void. It's only natural that when they unexpectedly leave, you can feel as if your world has been crushed.

Take some time to focus on yourself. You are your own center, and if you don't have that adhered from within, no amount of someone else's love will be able to sustain you. Focus on what's important to you, as well practices, habits, or goals that make you complete. Make time for yourself and go off the journey of self-discovery again. Rekindle hobbies or activities you loved doing before the relationship, find something new that sparks joy, or even just challenge yourself to try out different things—all of this will help you build the life you want more actively.

Take deep breaths below and emphasize connecting to yourself while compartmentalizing the overwhelming feelings of grief and regret. Shift your energies by using think positive affirmations: "I can do this on my own, I am discovering a new version of myself, and I am reclaiming my own worth." Appreciate where you've come from and what you've gone through and be proud of your resilience and strength. You are stepping into new ground, entering the space of independence; honor these moments of growth, however painful they may be.

Your current disappointment doesn't have to close your door to future happiness. All your emotions are valid, and you deserve to be happy again. You can eventually find love and joy when you are ready– peace is just around the corner.