don't know what to do

My girlfriend of 8 months just broke up with me and I'm so lost. She was my first relationship sine my marriage of 20 years ended, and theres a very big age gap, I'm 44 she's 25. She's also had a lot of very abusive relationships in her past and because of this has major trust issues. Our relationship has had its ups and downs but we always worked them out, I'm just very scared this time it won't happen. There are plenty of other issues, my son don't want to meet her, her not wanting me to see my kids if my wife was around and and my families unhappiness of me leaving my wife and kids. When things are good there are great but when things get bad they can be very bad. What caused the end was me being caught in a lie..i was having a fundraiser for my daughter and was in contact with my ex throughout the day and for the most part she was good about it, then my ex asked if she could put pictures up of us from last years fundraiser on the thank you board and although i didn't think it was a big deal i know she would not be happy, so i erased the text. the only reason i erased it was because she always went through my phone and didnt want to upset her,not that i was hiding anything just didn't want her to get upset...when she asked who i was texting i said no one and went into the shower, while in the shower she went through my phone and that was it, a huge fight broke out and she left' almost a week later no contact no nothing...i don't want to lose her and I'm miserable without her, what should i do?

Yikes. OK, so a few things stand out here:

- First relationship post-divorce. How long after your divorce did this relationship start? Your post almost makes it sound like your divorce was brought on by your relationship with this girl.

- She sounds unreasonable. Part of dating a divorced parent is understanding and accepting that you will almost certainly have to communicate with your ex periodically, even if it's just about the kids. Your post makes it sound like that's the extent of your communication with your ex.

- Your kids have a mom and this girl has to accept it. She doesn't need to pal around with her, but she has to accept that your ex will be around and that she isn't the enemy.

- I would be livid if someone went through my mom like that. That shows a lack of trust. You lied, but it sounds like it was a benign conversation related to the kids that belong to you AND your ex wife.

Honestly, I'm pretty cynical about both age-gap relationships and the first relationship after a divorce. It sounds like this girl isn't willing to compromise about the things that MUST come before her and be part of the relationship due to your being a father who will remain part of his kids' lives.

She sounds like a spoilt brat.

She has to realise that you have a family and a past.

Maybe you need to date closer to your age group.

should i call her, its driving me crazy not being with her?

Maybe ask yourself why you appear to be so drawn to this toxic person. Is it because she's so young?