My narcissistic ex bf had a new girlfriend 2 weeks after we broke up. I'm beyond hurt and he claimed he loved me so much even when we broke up. Me, however, cannot find another new relationship. It's been 4 months after break up. I also could not find any availalbe guy that I had the same feeling for my ex bf. I also left my former employer recently. It's a really good company where we both work at. But I didn't like my job and felt it's so draining to fight for the depression and stay top on my performance.
I feel really torn and depressed. Why is life so cruel and unfair? He is the bad guy in the relationship (he's been both verbally and physically abusive), though I do admit I acted horribly when we had fights later on in the relationship. I feel i'm probably at the lowest point in my life. I know I should focus on myself now to find a job and a new relationship I feel passionate for, but I just feel so hopeless and do not see how I will be happy again. Meanwhile, I also beat my self up from time to time for my mistakes in the relationship.