Will he ever come back again?

My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. It was perfect in the beginning, he was crazy about me and through out the middle, he always did special things for me, he really wanted to date me and do everything he could with me like take me on amazing vacations etc. We argued alot about stupid things while we were overseas though, but I thought it would get better when we got home. As soon as we came home, we moved in a room his parents built for us connected to the house. But after a while, of course, his family got annoying I wanted to move out with him. I have my faults and so does he. According to him I was controlling,jealous, miserable, and he felt like he had to babysit me bc I didnt have a car or anything. Months later though, I decided I wanted to move out with him. He kept procrastinating. I finally got up on my feet and started doing what I had to to prove him wrong. I bought my car and convinced him it would be better and I wouldnt have to rely on him. Things got worse though and he ended up telling me to leave. The next day, I packed my stuff and left. From that day, our year relationship was over. I was really mad and confused at first but I decided I wanted to stay friends with him bc I really love him and wish I wouldve changed in time so that it wouldnt have led to this problem. After we broke up, we hung out like 4 times in the 2 months we stopped dating. He would still try to hug me, hold my hand, treat me out, etc. He even told me he still loves and cares about me, but he justs needs his space. He said we might try long distance dating or even move in together in the future. But as of now we should both go our separate ways. I tried to convince him that Im going to change for the good. And Im getting my self squared away with school and work. And the reason we fought so much was bc we were always together but that would change if I was busy and so was he.The reason Im writing this message is because I need advice. My ex and I have been through alot. Sometimes I just want to stop talking to him bc I think its only hurtung me since Im the only one that wants a relationship. But he still calls me and tries to skype with me, but its not the same I want to be with him again

He still calls me and compliments me on skype ( i like cute etc), he even bought me a christmas present. why? im confused.

Good news - there is a chance to reconcile down the road.

Obvious news - NC. Just disappear from his life already. Let him wonder if you received his gift. Give yourself and him lots of space and time.

Amazing, how NC is the only true advice in all such cases.

Thank you for the reply..You really think so? I can tell he missses me by the sound of his voice. Ivve tried NC twice but each only lasted 2 days. You are right though I think NC could work but sometimes Im wondering if its worth it. i like talking to him. I noticed he is nicer when Im not begging or pleading. Thing is Im living with my sister and if her and I rent a house together Im going to have to sign a lease meaning I might not get a chance to move out with him in the next year. Im worried he might forget me as well.

NC it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If you do this he will realise what he is missing.

Don't put your life on hold hoping and wishing for him to come back. That is not living. If you meant anything to him at all he will not forget you even if you implement NC.

Right now you are giving him half the relationship he had before by keeping up communication, accepting his flirting etc. This is obviously suiting him as it's like keeping you at a distance and having the security of still having you in his life because he is not sure what he wants. You must take that luxury away from him because you are getting hurt and inevitably not getting anything out of this.

Like others say, disappear, don't answer his calls or texts. If he persists or asks why you are ignoring him you could just say that you need to move on and heal now thanks as the relationship is over isn't it? Let him see that there is no grey area with you anymore. You are either both moving on and doing your own thing or he must make the effort to reconcile. It will be hard for you at first and you will be tempted to give in if he contacts you but if you really, really want him back in the true sense, you must go through this personal pain to possibly have him back. If he does not come back, you will be healing and moving on anyway, a win, win situation for you. Let him see how strong you are and that you have changed because by showing him you have the strength to let him go, he will see that as you changing.

If he wants you back, after a while he will realise and directly ask for you back. Don't accept anything less than that from him.

First of all thank you for the reply. Second, I really find it difficult to not answer. Its like a drug ( a bad addiction) I feel that things are going okay when him and I talk. But then, after a couple of days it's just another conversation and he is going to get off the phone because he wants to. I know it hurts him when I give him NC for like 2 days because he will skype with me for hours. Thing is, I keep going back to him. I like to inform him about things and make sure he is fine. Dont get me wrong my ex boyfriend isnt a bad guy. He is really honest, he is outgoing and friendly to everyone. He needs to finish school and get his MA. The thing that bothers me is he procrastinates alot. About alot of things. Im not saying hanging out with your friends is a bad thing. But all he ever wanted to do was hang out with them etc. I wanted something serious. Thats 60% of the reason why we argued bc I was always trying to push him so that we could move out. And I understand there is nothing wrong with being close to mom. But he was too close. It bothered me that she was his power of attorney and would borrow money whenever she felt like it. She would pay it back to him but wouldnt ask him first. He has a really nosy family and I just couldnt do it anymore. His sister drove me up the wall with her attitude. And my ex boyfriend knew about this. His sister drove him up the wall too. But, he just continued to live at mom's house. I got really tired of this bc him and I were supposed to move out together, and he is 26. He has been living in that house for 9 months. I couldnt do it anymore either, and I hope you see my point. Im already enrolled to start school in January and Im job hunting. I already have my car and all. Im about to be 21. Its been 2 months since he broke up with me and he is still living there. But I guess this happens to some people when they come back from a deployment a 2nd time.

First of all thank you for the reply. Second, I really find it difficult to not answer. Its like a drug ( a bad addiction) I feel that things are going okay when him and I talk. But then, after a couple of days it's just another conversation and he is going to get off the phone because he wants to. I know it hurts him when I give him NC for like 2 days because he will skype with me for hours. Thing is, I keep going back to him. I like to inform him about things and make sure he is fine.

Well this all depends on what you want doesn't it? right now it appears that his pain,anguish or bad feelings about the break up are being resolved all the time because you are always there to talk, always there to respond quickly. This could go on and on for ages without a single word from him about reconciling (if that is what you really want? from the rest of your post it sounds like you are not that keen because of family obstacles and the fact you think he needs to grow up?) If you can handle and accept that this is all he is prepared to give, then keep doing this.But you will be heartbroken when a) he finds someone else and the contact ceases or b) he moves on and you haven't.

I have friends who are ex's, I communicate with one of them about once a month and we are great friends but I have absolutely no feelings for my old ex's anymore and I don't bat an eyelid when they are married, have a girlfriend or if I don't speak to one of them for a year. The only ex's I just can't and won't speak to are my most recent. Why? because I know deep down that I have feelings for both of them and I am only hurting myself and inflicting more pain on myself by keeping up contact or finding out what they are doing in their lives.

Do you want to be the ex that turns into a 'good friend' and then has to endure conversations with him about his new love conquests whilst gritting your teeth and smiling? That is where this could go if you continue to keep up this 'friendly' contact. You will fall into the 'ex as friend' zone and that has a whole rash of problems if you still have feelings for him. Trust other peoples experiences and advice on this forum, as so many on here have been through what you have been through. You have two options;

1. Keep prolonging your pain and drag out your feelings for him longer by communicating with him all the time, whilst constantly waiting for that magic sentence ' I want you back' (which may never happen)

2. Go full NC and heal, move on and be the one in control if and when he comes running back to you

Your call.

I can do that, but it makes it hard. I know he could get back with me again. I told him I would be willing to work on myself for the good. He is just afraid to get back with me and then I try to control him again, or I will always nag and be angry at him. I guess from now only time could tell. You know when you love something so much that when its gone it finally hits you and makes you see the damage you have done? I guess because Im young and this was my first REAL relationship I wasnt the best gf out there either. I do admit to being the way he describes me and thats why I pushed him away. Right now its too late to ask him for another chance. And the only reason Im writing about this is because I know in my heart he was a good boyfriend. And I really want to start over. I was happy to be around him. And now that we are four hours apart, its difficult. Especially if Im moving to a house with my sister for a year and Im under the lease. Its really hard!