Reflective Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Weird question but how do you know, for a fact that you are physically attractive? My main issue within myself is that I do lack self esteem, underneath the shallowness I don't have much of it, although I fake it to make it if you know what I mean. People tell me I am attractive physically, "cute" "pretty" "goregous" but is that not all relative? I mean not everyone finds someone attractive. Right? I just have a very difficult time accepting this. I don't know why, I can't wake up and just accept "Hey you know what, I'm really attractive, if I can get men to ask me out on a random basis, if I can do nothing and have men act oddly around me etc." It's a major complex I have, and it seems that as I age the more attractive I seem to get from what people tell me. Regardless it's hard to accept seeing how I am my worst critic and don't believe none of it at all. So I am curious, how do you know when and if you are physically appealing/attractive? I've had people tell me I have a good personality etc but it's still hard to see. I mean, do you necessarily have to be asked out in general by guys/girls? Link to comment
elcie Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Why are you asking this question? Are you having problems with attracting someone, despite being told that you are physically attractive? If that is the case, then perhaps your own lack of self esteem is the problem. If you can learn to be happy with the person you are-both inside and outside-then I have no doubt that you will have no problem attracting someone, And when that happens you will no longer have to worry about whether you are attractive or not. Link to comment
crushongirl Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 With women attractiveness is a combination of looks/age. So by definition you can't look better with age. Unless you lost 50 lbs. as time went on which is unlikely. Most men tend to have the same judgement of who is or isn't attractive. Women's opinion of men's attractiveness varies wildly and is very subjective. The opposite is not true. As for your popularity complex. You can be good looking and not asked out too often. Being asked out is often a measure of how easily approachable you are. I dread going up to a gorgeous woman and asking her out. Guys Link to comment
crushongirl Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 dont even try if they don't think they stand a chance. If you can convince them otherwise I'm sure you'll increase the hits you get. Link to comment
Reflective Posted August 23, 2011 Author Share Posted August 23, 2011 Why are you asking this question? Are you having problems with attracting someone, despite being told that you are physically attractive? If that is the case, then perhaps your own lack of self esteem is the problem. If you can learn to be happy with the person you are-both inside and outside-then I have no doubt that you will have no problem attracting someone, And when that happens you will no longer have to worry about whether you are attractive or not. I don't have a problem attracting people. in fact I notice I attract more male attention when i don't want to. not sure if that makes sense. I just generally don't believe I am physically attractive despite being told that.. I guess that's due to my poor self esteem.. Link to comment
elcie Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I don't have a problem attracting people. in fact I notice I attract more male attention when i don't want to. not sure if that makes sense. I just generally don't believe I am physically attractive despite being told that.. I guess that's due to my poor self esteem.. Is there a reason for your poor self esteem? If you are told you are good looking and don't have a problem attracting people then there may be underlying reasons for your lack of self esteem that may have nothing to do with your physical appearance. You may already know the answer to this. Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 do you know what/how can make you believe your attractive? getting asked out by guys on regular basis? and dont you have it? but you said you attract male attention? and what makes you dont think your attractive? you cant manage to get a bf or what? Link to comment
thejigsup Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You are as attractive as you can make someone think you are. You are on the right track, it has to do with confidence and high self esteem. If a girl has that, even if she is not the most beautiful girl in the room, she will seem that way to everyone else. Link to comment
Vincent Ruiz Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 You should keep in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What one person might find attractive another person will find ugly. I have this personal theory that it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, there will always be someone from afar who finds you attractive. While I don't usually recommend you get validation from other people(who cares what people think?! lol) I think it is a very good hint that you are attractive because other people wouldn't bother telling you if you weren't. What I think you should stop doing is telling yourself that there is no way you are attractive because that is all a mental thing that you have been telling yourself for probably a long time. Why don't you reverse your thinking and tell yourself that you are attractive? If you can tell yourself and believe that you are not attractive than you can tell yourself you are attractive and you will believe it. Trust me. Another thing is that guys love a confident woman who exudes it when she is walking. If you don't already, I recommend that you start walking with an air of confidence. Stand up straight, chest out, shoulders up, back straight. Believe me, you WILL get noticed if you walk and talk with confidence. Link to comment
hopeful1973 Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Focus on "YOU".. and what makes you feel attractive and happy.. This process is all apart of knowing you and not what you have been through. When you are happy and attractive to yourself these questions will rarely cross your mind. Link to comment
taxi10 Posted August 26, 2011 Share Posted August 26, 2011 If you want to know if you are attractuve to women. Do this following exercise. Dress well and go out in the hottest area or street in your city. walk there for 20 minutes and count the number of women that check you out or lock eyes with you. If within 20 minutes of your walk, 10 women check you out - then - you are damn attractive to women. If it is less than 5.. you need to improve your attraction. walk tall in a good posture. Remember to smile on the way. Enjoy Link to comment
Vincent Ruiz Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 If you want to know if you are attractuve to women. Do this following exercise. Dress well and go out in the hottest area or street in your city. walk there for 20 minutes and count the number of women that check you out or lock eyes with you. If within 20 minutes of your walk, 10 women check you out - then - you are damn attractive to women. If it is less than 5.. you need to improve your attraction. walk tall in a good posture. Remember to smile on the way. Enjoy This is really good advice. Women are attracted to good posture, walking, body language and how well groomed you are. When you walk in a room a woman already has preconceived notions about you. If you walk in with a slouch and looking on the ground then she'll think/know that you lack confidence. If you walk in with your chest out, shoulders up and back straight then she'll know that you exude confidence and you'll find that women are looking at you. Posture makes all the difference and helps with your very first impression. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 People tell me I am attractive physically, "cute" "pretty" "goregous" but is that not all relative? What is "attractive" is relative to some degree and varies by culture. I'm not sure this is worth stressing out about that. It's just the nature of the beast. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted August 30, 2011 Share Posted August 30, 2011 We see ourselves differently than others perceive us. I'm modest and very humble about who I am, how I look and whether or not others perceive that about me. If anything, I think that's what makes me attractive. Not so much my looks, but the fact that I'm not a Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted August 31, 2011 Share Posted August 31, 2011 I think that you have to stop asking questions like this and realize that you are what you are. Attractiveness is just hitting the genetic lottery, instead cultivate other aspects of you. Link to comment
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