Ok, I am agnostic basically. I have wanted to be Christian and tried being Christian but i felt nothing. It was a want for the fulfillment and purpose, but i don't really believe and short of witnessing a miracle, i don't think i ever will. My girlfriend knows this... kinda. she is pretty religious and cant really understand how i can: 1)not believe 2)not be horribly depressed without a reason for my life 3)not be afraid of hell. she just doesn't get it. It's difficult... and it doesn't help that we're pretty committed and every time we talk about it she ends up in tears or very close to it. I am pretty sure she fears for my immortal soul... What the hell am I supposed to do here? It's so hard seeing her be so upset by it, especially since it means nothing to me other than that it makes her sad. Do I give up on the relationship? I don't think I could if i wanted to... but... I dunno. I considered going back to acting on my want for that faith, but I'd just be living a dream with no reality in it. It would make her happy, but if she found out it'd just hurt her more.