Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

[steadyhand]

I thought I would share parts of my journal that I go back to on bad days to remind me of why I am here and what I hope for in the future.
Here's what I tell myself to get me through:

* Everything happens for a reason. I have always believed this. If you don't know the reason now, it will make sense with time because:

* "everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end." –unknown; Either you get back together with your ex or you find someone new that makes you happy. If you make the conscientious decision to be happy, you will be. One of my favorite quotes: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. – Henry Ford"

* "I beg you…to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer…" - Rainer Maria Rilke [I think it's the begging part of this quote that makes me want to do what she asks.]

Things I do that help me get through a day:

* Talk to my friends and family. Luckily I have gotten to a point where I don't bore them with the details of my heartache. Listening to them and hearing about their life is nice.

* Write. I have always kept and journal and I write down my thoughts, whatever they may be. Getting them down on paper helps me move past them a little.

* Travel. Get out of town for the weekend if you can.

* Take a fun class. I am taking a dance class and love it – it's fun, I interact with others and everyone is there to have a good time.

* Read, watch TV, movies.

* Spend time with friends.

* Let yourself be sad. That's okay and perfectly natural. There's nothing wrong with moping around the house, watching tv all day and eating ice cream for dinner every so often!

Nothing you haven't already heard I am sure, but it helps to see them listed out and know that you have options!

My favorite inspiring quotes:

promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!
-christian d. larson

believe in yourself and all that you are. know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.
- christian d. larson

life does not put things in front of you that you are unable to handle.
-unknown

everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it's not the end.
-unknown

if you're going through hell, keep going...
-churchill

now is the time to live your ideal life.
-cousineau

you are unrepeatable. there is a magic about you that is all your own...
- d.m. dellinger

in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
-einstein

whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should...
-ehrmann


I took the following poem from someone else's post (thank you to whomever posted it, I didn't write down their name!). It's quite sad, but given that my gut still feels like I am destined to be with my ex (or I am not over my addiction to him), I can't let go of it.

If You Forget Me:

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda

[The Law]

I don't mind if you take inspiration out of the lives of others. However it displays a lack of creativity in your own soul. What defines Steadysoul?, what is unique about you? Is your life even less then the shadow of someone elses quote? Be sure to come up with your own ideas, thoughts about everything because that will define who you are.

[Tj williams]

sometime people are not good at coming up with there own so they look for others for inspiration thers nothing wrong with that at all.

[stunned]

steadyhand,

Thanks for your post. I enjoyed the quotes. I agree that things will be okay in the end for most of us. Law, you have the right to your opinion, but I don't happen to agree with you.

The journey through the grief of loss is slightly different for all us, which makes sense because we all have our own unique experiences that cause us to handle matters differently. The good thing is that a forum like this can be a valuable tool for all of us. I certainly have drawn solice from many of the posts that I've read here.

So thanks for sharing steadyhand.

[Juliana]

Dear Steadyhand:

It's great that you're thinking of taking control of your life. Be very careful with the concept that "everything will work out in the end" though. My mother died in the back of an ambulance covered in her own blood, screaming curses at her husband. I don't consider that a happy ending. My own favourite saying of the moment would probably be more along the lines of sh*t happens.

[surviveitall]

Some of the original ones others have said to me that made a whole lot of sense, given my circumstances (wife cheating, left me):

1. If she wanted to be with you, she would BE WITH YOU!
2. She would have gotten divorced no matter who she was with. It didn't have much to do with me at all (so true).
3. If you have to go through this sometime, it is better now when you are 41 instead of later at 45. Options get pretty limited the later in life you become single.

[uppersnatch]

Dear all,
these are my notes:

past events are mind boosters or mind antiboosters (depressants). Whenever you analyse past events, you either become high or get depressed. So be fully aware of waht you do at present time, because just a sec after it is your past.

you dont have to force yourself to decide things for others, because everyone has different perception of things. just leave evrthing to their own decision, you can only support the decision if you think it is right. otherwise dont be involved in anyones decision. everyone must decide by himself. you can only show possibilities to them

there is always similarity between events

there is no coincidence

happiness is understanding...

regards

[curiocity]

I just read the original post and it made me cry.

[LovelySoul]

How am I supposed to move on??? Its been a little over a month..
This is too much for me.. and his parents called my parents today..

its not helping me move on. It is reminding me of the pain... I am angry now.. and anger leads to texting the ex all these crazy things. I am supposed to be the better person

[curiocity]

why dont you tell the parents to back off?