A sickening Discovery...

[bdwiii]

Hi all,

 

I'm not sure if anyone remembers me, but I'm the guy who went to Florida to work for a few weeks and while I was gone my girlfriend that I was living with threw me out.

 

Well, it's been a month now since I moved my things out. I remember how horrible she was and how cruel she treated me throught the entire experience. I did try to call her once and wrote two letters to her but got no results from either. Now after what I've discovered, I'm glad I didn't.

 

I just recently moved into my new apartment and transfered my internet acount there as well; it was the same account that we had at her place and shared together. Well, I got everything set up and she used to have an e-mail account under mine. It was a sub account off of my own. I gained access to it and found it full of old e-mails. She had since got a new account of her own when she dismantled everything moving me out. What she had forgotten was all the e-mails she had left in the old one. I read them all and when I saw what they were, my heart began to pound, my hands began shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up. There was not one, but two adult personal ads that she had placed and sent numerous messages from and received some as well. In both the ads she placed she was requesting a "group", not just a single person. She was requesting group sex, an orgy if you will. She stated in the one ad, "I'm looking for someone who is interested in group sex, ya know like an orgy type thing. I want to pleasure several men at the same time." The other ad eluded to the same thing. And there were several replies to it as well. They both were placed not even four days after I had left for Florida!! This from the girl I lived with for 3 years, the same girl that gave me a hug and a kiss that morning as I went out the door! As I said, I was all but physically ill.

 

I went out to find her wth a printed copy of one of the ads and found her at the local mall. I waited till she came out to her car and then confronted her with it. At first she denied it and acted like she didn't know what it was, but then she admited it and said, "Oh, when I did that I was just playing around." Yeah, I said, with how man guys at a time? I berated her over and over for what she had done while I was away and told her that I now knew why she had thrown me out. She just got upset and then drove off. Well, I was so mad and upset I was shaking; I decided to even the score and I sent copies of everything I found to her employer, her parents, her landlord, and her best friend who happens to be her neighbor. I know that may sound a bit harsh, but hey, try getting throw to the street without a place to go and not even so much as a reason why.

 

So now I know. I still feel half sick when I think of what she was doing when I was down in Florida, but I'm not half as depressed over losing her anymore, no way. In reality, she did me a favor. Can you believe this? I'm still shell shocked.

 

Well, thanks for reading, I just had to vent.

 

Burt

[sabena]

No matter how hurt she treated you, I don't think that you should have compromised her job or her relationship with her family. I think that you need to contact these people and say that you made them up. Regardless of what she has done, two wrongs do not make a right.

 

Thank yourself lucky that you are out of this relationship but make right what you have done, this could harm her career and her family for many many years and nothing deserves. Whatever happened happened between you and her, not you, her, her job and her family and friends. You need to sort this out because I think you will find you will start to feel bad about this.

[bdwiii]

I know what you're saying and I did think about that too, but I'm not sorry and I feel she deserved what she got. I mean I never did anything even remotely close to anything so horrible while we were together or otherwise. I lived with this girl for three years! I thought I knew her, I thought we loved and respected each other and ourselves. Then she tries to literally destroy me by throwing me out with no place to go and not even letting me come home and look for a place. Thank God I had money or I would have been totally screwed and that's what I'm sure she was hoping for. No, I just can't feel all that bad about it in light of that and what she was doing while I thoughtwe were still together!

 

As they say, every dog has their day.

 

I appreciate your reply and what you say is valid/ Normally I would agree with you, but I just can't right now.

[Gunther]

HA! marvalous story! Just count yourself lucky she didnt decide to take you back. although I do think that it was in very bad taste to tell everyone she knew what two or more people do in the privacy of there own home should be there very own busniess. I would feel pretty rotten if I were the one to do that. What on gods green earth were you thinking when you did this? Oh well, what is done is done. Just leave it alone from now on okay? I am however glad you got out of the relationship before you accidently stumbeled in on your wife in the middle of an orgy. But there is a very fine line between right and wrong and you left that in the dust, I would call these people back dont make me come over there! You destroyed her life far beyond what she did to you. lemme put this in other terms, AFTER she left you she had an orgy. Then you tell her parents, work, and friends about her own private life... Does that seem fair to you!? Because if it does you are a very sick man, I would call them all agian and smooth that stuff over.

[bdwiii]

I was--well--am still very pissed off and furious at the grand betrayal that was done to me. Sure, everyone's sex life is their own business, but not when you've been living with someone for three years and telling everyone that you are planning on getting married etc.. etc.. I find this out and not only that but she stated that she is bisexual as well and has had encounters as such in these ads!!! I mean what the f***!! I thought I knew this girl, her family thought they knew her, everyone did! And then this.. No, I'm sorry, they have to know this. They need to know who did what and why. I was thrown to the street like a dog without so much as an explanation, nothing after three years and giving up my apartment to move in with her after a lot of pressure. She's sick and I'm tired of being blamed for everything. Now they all can see who and what she really is.

[ezila]

I do think that you have EVERY right to be hurt, to feel betrayed, and to be angry as all get-out over what you found.

 

However, I think you went WAAAAY overboard in distributing the personal ad and info that you found. Her relationship with you did not end because of her job, her family - bringing them into the mix like that, only makes you look like the psycho ex-boyfriend. Her family and friends are probably telling her at this point what a good decision she made in tossing you out.

 

I strongly recommend that you see a counselor or therapist, to work through your anger without doing any more harm - to her reputation, or to your own. I think it would be in your best interest to handle things with a bit more decorum.

 

I'm sorry she hurt you. But be glad that it happened before you were romantically entangled in more complicated ways, i.e. marriage, kids, etc. And the next time you run into her, or anyone you had on your "distribution list", just say, "I'm sorry; I was hurt over the breakup." and walk away.

[ezila]

You say, " No, I'm sorry, they have to know this. They need to know who did what and why. "

 

I'm sorry, but your relationship was nobody's business but yours and hers. NOONE ELSE.

 

I think you need to regain some perspective. Seriously, get some help!

[Gunther]

Suck it up man!!! she threw you out that means you have NO BUSNIESS interfearing with her life you both screwed up! and you both took actions that you should be very ashamed of. once she threw you out she threw out your rights to know what she was doing! it is none of your busniess and why you cant see it is beyond me! You need to stop interfering with this womans life she is grown up and what she does is here own busniss! What if she decided to say things about you weather they were true or not!? you have steped over the line, she could potentaly put a stalker report on you! she could get restraining orders as well, you are in over your head just cut it out before you get sent to jail or something. You dont seem to realize how serious this really is.

[OmegaMan]

I've only got one question for you, do you feel better now that you've sent all those letters to her relatives? Do you feel like justice has been done? Do you feel that the fact that you publicly displayed her intimacy about her sexuality makes you even (well actually, that's more than one question ). If you do feel better knowing that, as she hurt your feelings you hurt her's, then I guess this is fine really. You did what you thought best.

 

BUT, if you feel the same or even worse after you've sent the copies, then maybe trying to fix things would be a good idea. I've got the feeling, and god knows maybe I'm wrong, that you reacted this way because you were hurt deeply. Because, when you think about it, once she had left you, she was free to do whatever she wanted with her life, yes? I mean she could've had sex with anything or anyone and that would've been her decision, not yours. For better or worse (and I think better) we live in a Free country and I don't see why you would've the right to decide of when she was going to be ok for her to have sex again or with whom or with how many people.

 

This being said, don't take this confrontation on the wrong side. I took some of my time, which is precious, to try to make you maybe think deeper about this situation. I honestly hope you begin to feel better anytime soon, as from what I've read from your previous posts, this relationship is tearing you apart from the inside.

 

Courage,

 

Etienne, aka OmegaMan

[bdwiii]

Yeah, maybe you're right, maybe I shouldn't have done it. But they all treated me like I was Satan himself when I came home and all I could do is remove my belongings from her apartment; Nothing more and nothing less. I did nothing to her, nothing to deserve what she did to me. And I sure as hell wasn't into this perverted sexual thing she is. So you're saying that they're all going to think what she was doing while I was gone was just fine and I'm the whacko because I exposed it? I think they needed to know the truth. I was marked and treated like such a terrible person and yet this is what she was doing all along. No, I just don't see it that way. If all her family and friends can salute her and applaude her for her decision to do what she did to me and then be the center of an orgy, well then they're just as bad as she is.

[Gunther]

I know it hurts, but you must move on dwelling on this doesnt help anyone. you are right she should not have done what she did, but she did there is no changing that now. and as much as I know it hurts you cant hurt her this will solve nothing. I am sure you will one day find the woman of your dreams, and you will be happy. but for the mean time you need to gather your thoughts and just try to live your life. then when you feel you are ready try agian. But dont bring her family into it, do you think her mother wants to hear how her daughter got all these people toghether just to have sex? that is the last thing anyone wants to hear about. She has treated you very badly it is obvious any way you put it, but you cant just keep hurting her forever. Its just wrong, they all know you were the scape goat but you cant let that dog you forever you will find someone eventualy. And I am sorry I just want you and her to be happy w\ what you are doing. I am not saying I agree with what she did, but everyone deserves happyness especialy you.

[Wonderwoman]

Wow! What a story!

 

While I can somewhat understand how angry you must be and why you wanted to set the record straight, so to speak, I can't help but tell you that that was an extremely emotional reaction. Some may even say it was immature. Think of the message it sends her...that you were so deeply affected you need to lash out. There was really no need for her family to know...does your family know about the details of your sex life? And there was no reason for her work to know for this same reason.

 

There's no going back now. What's done is done. The best thing you could have done is to let her know that you knew how low she has fallen...you could have even held that over her head, telling her that if she so much as comes within 1 mile of you you'd let her family know.

 

The best thing you can do is to get her completely out of your life and out of your head. Now you have your reason, and you know that it had nothing to do with you, and everything to do with her. Move on...there are good women out there, and I hope you won't let this experience affect your future relationships - one thing I'll agree with - she's truly sick and deranged.

[mfurb33]

That is a crazy story! To the board, I don't think this guy should be berated for what he did....yes, it was extreme, but think of the level of emotion this guy was on when he found this all out. Think about being with someone so long and knowing them inside and out....then have a 360 like this slap you in the face. That's got to be insanely tough! I don't think it's right to sit here and say "Get some help!" or "Suck it up!"...Bdwiii acted on pure emotion, and I think he's realizing that he may have gone too far...so chalk it up as a lesson learned. I'm sure he won't go off the handle again. We've all done something stupid in our lives...this is no exception. As for you Bdwiii...I think that this saying has never meant more to one person than you, but YOU DESERVE BETTER. Start the healing process of getting this woman OUT of your life and mind forever. Who you thought she was is dead now, and if you're still in love it's with the memory of who she was. Time to let it all go and live your own life for yourself....

[lunatic]

dbwiii,

 

I am not going to judge you and repeat what everyone else is saying. I guess that in your position I would have probally thought about doing something like what you did. I would only think about it and not do it. Dude you need to talk to someone about the built up anger you have inside you right now. I mean there in no doubt in my mind that you are devistated by this whole thing and you lashed out. I can't totally blame you. I hope that in time you will come to terms with what happened and you will be a better person because of this. Please go talk to some friends and or a family member about what happened. I will tell you one thing, you are not at fault for the break up and you should hold your head up high. Just get on with your life. Everyone is telling you the truth when they say to you to stop everything you are doing to her.

 

I hope you the best,

Hubman01

[bdwiii]

To everyone who responded, thank you and I have taken to heart all of your opinions and veiwpoints. Yes, it was extreme, but as one of you said, it was the most dramatic and harsh slap in the face I have ever received in my entire life. Not only to find this out, but to go away to work, earn money and bring it home to her and then find that while I'm away, she's thrown me out to the street without so much as a reason why.

 

Yes, I reacted on pure emotion, that which was a blind fury. I did think it through before I did what I did, and I even hesitated a little, but then I thought of how she literally tried to destroy me and my decision was final. Had I not had any money to cushin the blow of being cast to the street, I would be totally ruined. Then on top of it, I find out later that getting me out of there was just a matter of convenience for her to accommodate her sick lifestyle which I knew nothing about! Imagine, living with a girl you think is an angel and wanting to marry her only to find this out. It's sickening. And in response to one of the replies, I have no problem with my family or friends knowing about my sex life, it's NORMAL. I'm not into gang banging or orgies. And I stick to one person, the girl I'm with at the time, not a whole slew of them just to satisfy animal lust.

 

Do I regret what I did? No. It's done now and over; I'm not doing a thing more. I just wasn't going to sit back and let her drag me through the mud and come out smelling like a rose when the truth speaks for itself.

[reinvented21]

Happened to pass by....

 

Whoa! Revenge @ its finest! REMIND ME NOT TO MESS WITH YOU.

[Genesis]

What!!!!!!!!!

 

I do not mean to laugh but daaaaamn!! Your life is like a day time drama. I know her family can forgive her, I just hope she does not lose her job. I am sure you would not want her out in the street, or maybe you would. Do you know if she was having group sex while you were dating? You said she posted the add a week before the breakup, so maybe she only thought about group sex once she knew the break up was on the horizion, but did not go through with it yet. If, not go get tested for HIV and God knows what else. Let her get STD's it is not your problem anymore. People can still catch STD's with condoms, so if she if freaking with nasty freaks who have group sex, I am sure her partners have been burning and itching at least sometime in their life. EWE!

 

What a slut, you are right it is like you never really know someone. I agree with you, if you are having group sex then you are just greedy and acting like some wild animal who cannot control itself. Be glad she is gone as they say "You cannot turn a hoe into a house wife", or a wife period. I really cannot say what I would do if I were in your shoes. I know reverge is not the best thing to do, but this girl makes you want to get back at her!! I think the mass email was a bad idea, but O-well , there is nothing you can do now. Be happy that this girl is out of your life, in a way it is a blessing b/c you really have no reason to try to hold on , or want to get back together with her.

[kiddo]

First let me start off by saying that just because someone chooses to experiment sexually (even with multiple partners) this does not make them a sick person. I know that this is probably completely against everything that you believe in. I personally do not choose to do this but I don't consider those that do sick people. One thing to keep in mind about these people and their alternate lifestyles: Most of the women who choose to experiment in this manner or who are in the porn, exotic dancer industry have been sexually molested or abused. It can cause some seriously deep hidden issues that can only get better by addressing them openly WITHOUT JUDGEMENT! Judgement just makes them feel even more disconnected from their lives and it prevents them from seeking help from those who can give it.

 

Second, while I empathize with you, I can not agree with the actions that you have taken. You had no right what so ever to BREAK into her files--even if they were on your computer under your own account--they were still her personal and very private files. When you came accross her ads and confronted her about them, did you truly listen past your anger to what she was explaining? She may have owed you an explanation and even an apology, but you owed her the courtesy of listening--truly listening. Maybe, and it's possible, that she was telling the truth (I've heard of wackier things). Then for you to distribute the ads to her family, employers, next door neighbors, and friends! Way out of line! Now, please let me explain why with my own personal experience.

 

I broke up with an abusive boyfriend. He didn't know where I had moved to (not exactly) but he did know the college that I still attended and the surrounding area. His idea of getting even was to place my face and a picture of my body (scantily clad as he had forcefully demanded before taking the picture and then sending it off to a lab to have the bruises airbrushed out) into a adults personal ad. This ad was popularly viewed (pretty much every day) by the colleges fraternities. I was completely unaware of the ad and was finally starting regain some normalcy in my life. Then one saturday night, I went out to a bar to meet some of my girl friends. I sat down with them ordered a soda (I was underage and yes I followed the law). We all chatted for a little while and before I left I went to dance a line-dance (country bar). It was during this dance that I noticed a couple of guys pointing at me and nodding and I averted my eyes and let my girlfriends know that I was leaving because the guys had made me uncomfortable (the behaviors beaten into me by my abusive ex dictated that I not even look at someone who has shown interest in me and unfortunately, it was a lesson that was still so ingrained that I followed it). They tried to convince me to stay but in the end said that they would meet me for lunch the next day. I didn't get to meet them.

 

On my way out, I was acosted by the guys from a fraternity (the same ones who had been pointing and nodding at me earlier). They made sexual inuendos and down right sexual demands. I kept trying to move away from them and signal for help (it was too loud from the music for anyone to hear me) but no one saw me (or at least no one came to help). The group of fraternity boys started ripping my clothing off and dragging me kicking, screaming, and fighting them for my life. In one short block we were back at their frat house. By then, I was completely naked and already sexually assaulted. That night I was raped and sodomized repeatedly by the fraternity boys and their friends (and even people who they didn't know but had heard of some action going on). They had all taken turns and some had gone more than once. I passed out repeatedly during this ordeal and each time I was brought back by a harsh slap accross my face. By the time that the night was fading into day, I didn't have any energy left at all--none to fight, none to live. It was during this time that some of the boys had decided to use more than one orfice at a time, and to use more than their own genitals. Hands were first, then beer bottles, pool sticks and various other items to be found lying around. Fortunately, if there could be such a thing as fortune in this, I don't remember all of it. For some of it I was unconscious, for others my mind blocked out. I don't know exactly how I got to the hospital or when but I know that when I was conscious enough to realize that I was in a hospital, it was almost 3 weeks after the incident had occurred. I had been brought in via an ambulance after having been dumped on the side of the road to die, someone had seen my pale body in the green grass and stopped to help. From the ambulance to the emergency room, to the operating room to attempt to repair as much of the damage as they could (my rectum was ripped from my anus to my vagina to include internally the vaginal wall that separates them, my cervix had been torn open and my reproductive system damaged, I had lost several teeth, my jaw broken, lips torn open, and retinas detached, not to mention a serious concussion). I had lost too much blood and slipped into a coma. Three weeks later, I woke up. It's been 3 years since that happened and I still have serious problems to deal with due to rape and abuse. But, a few of the boys are in jail (others got of due to anonymity) others are still working the system, and a couple are already out. Because of my ex boyfriend posting my picture on that site (without my permission or knowledge) these boys saw the ad and thought that because it was up there and it said that I was into "mock" rape, s&m, bondage, voyuerism, exhibitionism, and various other sexually explicit things, they thought that it was okay--that they had the right to do what they did to me. So many of them truly thought that just because they saw my picture with a list of fetishes that this automatically granted them the right to do with me as they wished, without any regard to me actually screaming, crying, begging, moaning, chanting repeatedly throughout the night: "No! Please, no, oh GOD!, Please STOP! They had no concern with my thoughts, feelings, or well being, none at all. Not even when they dumped me at the side of the road, naked and barely alive. Once again, I didn't post it and I hadn't given my permission to post it, and I had no knowledge that it had been posted. It was just something that my abusive ex boyfriend thought that he would do to get even (and when questioned about it later, he laughed and said that I deserved every bit of it--he was imprisoned for inciting and encouraging rape--a sentence of only 15 months, 9 months if he had good behavior).

 

Just thought that I would let you know my own experience with this. By you handing out her ad to people (and I'm sure they didn't keep it just amongst themselves) you've put her at a great risk. One that no matter the pain she caused you, she doesn't deserve. And I'm sure that no matter how angry you are at her or how much you disagree with her lifestyle, you wouldn't want to see her harmed by an ordeal like the one that I survived. Probably not one even close. Just imagine, a knock on the door, a news report on tv, or an early morning call from someone that you know (and who knows/knew her) telling you that she had been brutally raped, sodomized, and tortured----repeatedly by a whole crowd of men---and that they didn't expect her to live throughout the night let alone the next day. Now, imagine going to see her through the window of the ICU (only family members allowed in the room) and seeing her completely swolen and pale (except for the horrible discoloration from the multiple bruises and lacerations) and except for the life support system breathing for her, completely lifeless. Then imagine what her family would be feeling. The horrible loss that would be inevitable in just a few short, tortuous hours. The pain of knowing that she had needlessly been taken from them in such a viscous way because of an ad that you had distributed.

 

This was what my family and friends had to live through, it's what I'm still living through. I'm still continuously afraid to go outside for fear of harm, I can't speak or even look at any males (yes, to include babies). I'll never be able to have children of my own (not even when I'm emotionally ready and have moved past my experience). I'll always have problems going to the bathroom, sitting, speaking, smiling, and all of the things that are taken for granted in day to day life by all of you who have been untouched by such harsh tragedies. Worst of all, is knowing that I'll probably never feel safe again, never be able to go out to a restaraunt somewhere and not be completely fearful that a look that someone had given me was indicative of his future plans for me because he might have recognized me by a picture off the internet.

 

So, you see, even if you were angry and wanted to get even, you NEVER had the right to do what you did. You compromised her safety and her life and I pray that she, you, and her family and friends are never faced with the horrific realization of the potential danger in a manner as I, my friends and family had to.

 

(even though she may have posted the ad herself, joke or not, she had anonymity through that site because she didn't have to use her real name, give her address, phone number, or any other information that she didn't choose because the site used a registered users format that protected all of her information--including her e-mail address--so that until she deemed it acceptable, no one knew her or had access to that information.)

[OmegaMan]

This is so sad, who would've thought acting like this would lead to such terrible consequences. Gives you a pretty good idea of the consequences of revenge.

 

Etienne

[bdwiii]

I just finished reading your story and my heart goes out to you, really. What you had to edure is a waking nightmare. I'm truly sorry that something so horrible happened to you as a result of something someone else did.

 

I also have to agree with you that no, I would never want to see anything even remotely close to that happen to her. I loved her dearly, and all of this has torn me apart like you can't imagine. There is one distinct difference however in what happened to you and my situation. The ad that caused what happened to you was maliciously placed by your ex and not you and as a result, you were horribly assaulted. I did not place these ads, in fact, I knew nothing about them until about three days ago. She has put herself at risk and most likely in the hands of people that are or could be capable of doing to her what was done to you or worse. Yes, I sent it to her mom and dad, and a few others that all know her very well and are a lot older people who would never distribute this at all. The most they will do is express shock and concern. However, the risk you speak of still exists on a grand scale; she placed these ads on the Internet! There are literally thousands of demented sexual predators out there that scan those ads daily looking for girls like her to prey on. Obviously she never took that into consideration when she planned on doing this. All it takes it one encounter with a bunch of drugged and drunken whackos who get with her like that and the possiblility of what happened to you happening to her can be very real. That risk and danger would exist regardless of whether or not I had ever found those ads or not. She was willing to assume that risk as well by placing the ads. I noticed from the one site alone she had sent 10 emails and received 5 replies; one was from within only 5 miles of here. I hate to even think what she was doing and what was done to her while I was away working.

 

Yes, maybe I shouldn't have done what I did, but you have no idea of the amount of hatred and cruelty she treated me with. You said I should have listened to her explanation before acting; there was no explanation. She only became very hostile and said she didn't really care what I thought and refused to even talk to me. This is how she was even before I came home from Florida. I went there to do some work for my father's company and when I left I had no idea whatsoever that anything was wrong between us. She gave me a hug and a kiss as I left for the airport and she went to work. I said I would call her when I got in and we both left. When I got to Florida I called her and she was very hostile and mean on the phone and told me she didn't want to talk to me and hung up on me. We didn't speak for a week and then I called again. She talked to me breifly and said she wanted me to move out. Well, I was so shocked and hurt but I agreed that I would look for a place as soon as I returned. She said that would be fine and she would give me until the next month to do so. Well, then I get calls from relatives up home saying that she has been seen moving boxes of my things out of the place and into a storage unit! She also left all my mail at my mother's house with a self-typed eviction notice on it. In other words she did not honor our agreement and simply threw me out to the street! I called her landlord and he said that yes, she had him come over and change the locks. In her letter, she said I was only allowed to make arrangements to come and remove my belongings, that was it. Now, you tell me, how would you feel if you gave up your place of residence, sold your furniture and a lot of other things to move in with someone you thought you were going to marry and this is what they do to you!? I was throw to the street like a damned dog. Had I not had any money, I would have been totally ruined. Do you think she cared? Not one bit.

 

When I did come back and went over there to remove my things, she and her parents treated me with such hatred I couldn't believe it was happening. It was like living a bad dream. All they did was scowl and glare at me like I had killed someone! I pleaded with her to talk to me and tell me why she was doing this to me and she refused to even look at me! What did I do to her that she did this? I HAVE NO IDEA! That's the problem here; when someone is ruining your life, someone you trusted and thought loved you, and they won't even give you a reason why, well, it's a little hard to swallow.

 

Since I moved out I have been sick with grief and not understanding what happened at all. I tried to call and talk to her a few weeks after but she was so very cold and mean on the phone as well and hung up on me. Then a few more weeks pass by and I find these ads. Now imagine how you would feel finally realizing what she was doing and what was happening all the while you were away and not even knowing your relationship had ended! It's the ultimate betrayal, the worst way you can hurt someone ever if you ask me. It totally invalidated everything we ever shared together; now it's as if none of it meant a thing. Trust me, I gave it a lot of thought before I actually did it (sending those ad out) but I did do it then because after thinking of just how little she cared whether I lived or died, had a place to live or not, whatever, I sent them. She literally tried to destroy me. And I don't know what was said, but she definitely must have maligned me horribly to her parents and others as well because I was only treated with extreme hatred by these same people I had holiday dinners with and 4th of July cook outs with! So the decision wasn't really a hard one. I felt these people should know just what she's really about since I was made to look like such a terrible person and everyone was pittying her. I did nothing to deserve what I got either!

 

I believe we all have to take responsibility for our actions, good or bad. She made the decision to engage herself in that type of activity and now she's going to have to own up to it. Why should I be worried about keeping her dirty little secrets for her when she did what she did to me?! What's done is done. It's over now and we will never see or speak to each other again in this lifetime. Yes, I truly hope that she gets help and find whatever "happiness" she's looking for. I'm just sorry it couldn't have been the happiness I thought we once had.

[tubalcain]

alls fair in love and war...she declared war on you.

you fought back....good on you

 

 

but rememebr discretion is the beter part of valor...

 

what about all the disturbances her action cause you withyour life...?

 

I beat up this new guy dating my girlfriend...he screwed her twice...third time he came over, i pulled him out of the car and beat him up, i didnt hit him..he was such a coward just begged me not to hit him...

 

I should have hit him twice hard...so that he had a story to explain, i did ruff him up though threw him to the round inront of my girlfir3end, and maybe head butted him

 

she probally still sees him but no matter what she will always knows i can beat him up any time i choose...it evelution man..she will never respect this guy the same way...even if she gets with him....u just cant...and i felt great!

 

just wish i hit him twice hard in the face.

 

Physical violevnce also changes behaviour patters, pain is the ultimated behaviour modification tool followed by fear...it how we survive.

 

May go back and do this yet!

[OmegaMan]

alls fair in love and war...she declared war on you.

you fought back....good on you

 

Do you serisously believe that? Really? Nothing good has ever come out of war, everyone knows that.

 

but rememebr discretion is the beter part of valor...

 

So he should'v been more subtle to make a cool revenge right? I think you've seen way too many movies . Picturing as the bad guy scheming and plotting his evil plans and such

 

I beat up this new guy dating my girlfriend...he screwed her twice...third time he came over, i pulled him out of the car and beat him up, i didnt hit him..he was such a coward just begged me not to hit him...

 

So, basically, you didn't beat him up. phew, I was afraid there for a minute.

 

I should have hit him twice hard...so that he had a story to explain, i did ruff him up though threw him to the round inront of my girlfir3end, and maybe head butted him

 

It wouldn't have changed nothing, worse, you would've proven your girlfriend right in cheating you by demonstrating how a violent person you are. You were very wise not to hurt him, you can do up to 10 months in prison just for punching someone, did you know that?

 

...it evelution man..she will never respect this guy the same way...even if she gets with him....u just cant...and i felt great!

 

Evolution? Are you referring to Darwin's theory of evolution? If so, you're quite mistaken. The reason why we managed to evolve up to where we are today, is not because we were stronger than other species, because there are lots of them who are stronger and faster than us. It is because we used our brain in ways animals couldn't because they were mentally limited (that and the way our hands were different so we could use tools). The next step of evolution is not about who'se gonna be more able to kick other people's butt, it would be who's the smartest and who can adapt himself better. What you mentionned about the stronger being the alphas, that was true... with the neanderthals. So please don't mention evolution in such a way, that would be incorrect. The future lies with intelligence, not with violence.

 

Physical violevnce also changes behaviour patters, pain is the ultimated behaviour modification tool followed by fear...it how we survive.

 

AHHHHRRGHHH! Where did you get your psychology concept? Maybe you should've dug a bit more to realise you didn't have the right to hit anyone except in legitimate defense. You just can't go around and start hitting people so their modify their behaviour to fit your desires. Thank god we've got cops and the law to protect us from those kind of behaviours like that.

 

May go back and do this yet!

 

...and end up in jail.

 

Etienne

[tubalcain]

its like this...

 

it is the primitive evolution...that is under all else...

 

and i dont care about jail

 

that is just a coersive method to keep the masses in check...I mean the police ar the standing army of the ruling class society always uses viloence as its ultmate censure...your argument vontradicts itself...I should modify my behaviour because violence will be done to me by the state in the form of the courts....

 

..........do you deny thta we have war hero's,, who were killing people they dont know on a plotitions say so??????

 

thre is a time for everthuing

 

a time for peace a time for war a time for thinging a time for doing....each thin has its time

 

women, cause mental rape of men often throught thier sexuality...men find it very hard to resit this urge...but they are expected to....

 

thre should be some law about this...

 

Physical violence / rape is just as bad as mental rape....

 

like the other day, my ex gf just pulls my dick out of my shortas and plays with it and then expects me to do nothing in response?????

 

what do you think?

[OmegaMan]

Well considering that you were very polite in your reply, I will tell you what I believe. I have to admit I was expecting something rather irrational and rude. You've proven me wrong

 

Ok, first of all, I believe you should've made a new topic with your situation as you didn't really give an advice, more like explained what was happening to you. That way you could've had more retroaction on what happened to you.

 

Second of all, would you mind being a little bit more careful about your typing mistakes, english isn't my mother tongue so I had trouble deciphering what you were saying. Please don't take this as an insult, I'm only saying that so we can understand each other better.

 

it is the primitive evolution...that is under all else...

 

I still disagree with that. I can't see what you beating up the guy that cheated on your girlfriend has anything to do with evolution. I don't think that is a plausible argument in no way possible. Think about it again and provide me a solid argument as to your situation has to do with evolution and I will bow to you, but I doubt in this situation is has anything to do with it.

 

and i dont care about jail

 

That's because you've never been in one. I have, it's horrible. People commit suicide very often. There so much violence, both psychological and physical. Don't be too sure to say you don't care about the carceral system, that would be a underestimation (a rather important one).

 

In fact, you know what? Since you're asking me my opinion, I'll tell you what I think. Moderators: Don't take this a disrespectul post, I'm only doing some confrontation here, it's often the best way to open someone's eyes on something.

 

As I was saying, I don't think you're as much as a bad ass as you're pretending to be. Your behaviour is too stereotypical, almost movie-like, «I'm gonna bust his face, I don't care about jail» and such. Should you have been very violent, you would've kicked this guy ass when you had the chance when you had the opportunity. But you didn't. BUT, that is not to say it's abnormal for you to have violent thoughts. Everyone does, it's almost primal sometimes. There is a huge difference though in between thinking of something and actually doing it. Would I be in your situation, I would have thought the same way as you. And kicking this guy ass would've changed absolutely nothing. And you know what, maybe she will stay with that guy even if he got scared when you grabbed him. That's something you've got to keep in mind.

 

As far as my argument contradicting itself, I don't agree, but what if it did? What difference does it make? I'm trying to make you see that violence seldom settles anything ( I wish I could say never). I don't think you'll be doing anything to that guy, too late now. Even though he you probably think it's unfair and he deserve something bad. Maybe you should focus on what went wrong with your g/f instead of plotting revenge that would be the wise thing to do. Maybe you can prevent something like this from happening ever again.

 

do you deny thta we have war hero's,, who were killing people they dont know on a plotitions say so??????

 

Are you saying that I'm denying that we have war heroes? Well.. I don't see what difference it makes. Depends on your definition of a war hero, why is probably world apart from mine. Even if there are people who act with courage in a terrible and unjustified situation, it still remains a terrible and unjustified situation. See what I'm getting at?

 

a time for peace a time for war a time for thinging a time for doing....each thin has its time

 

I don't think you're open to different opinion than your own on this one. No offense, but this kind of sound like some vulgar propagand or worse, some brainwashing. Why should there be a time for war???

 

women, cause mental rape of men often throught thier sexuality...men find it very hard to resit this urge...but they are expected to....

 

Let me demonstrate irrationality. Tha bit about women causing mental rape. Ok, this is a generality, how can you say such a thing? Based on what? Your experience with women? Do you really think this represents the whole female population? I don't. Maybe the women you met played with you, ok, I can understand that. Maybe a lot of women play with men's feelings, but this comes from both side. Other men use women as objects. Nobody is perfect, so you should ponder on this argumentation before you start developping mysogenic thoughts.

 

thre should be some law about this...

 

What kind of law?? Please explain in which way a law should be enforced about this.

 

Physical violence / rape is just as bad as mental rape....

Try to prove that in a court of law.

 

 

like the other day, my ex gf just pulls my *beep* out of my shortas and plays with it and then expects me to do nothing in response?????

 

More information, before or after the cheating? No matters, you're still obviously hurt about this story and I don't think your reflections are all that logic. I don't mean that as an insult.

 

I took some of my time to help you out. Now it's up to you.

 

Etienne