Are you meant to be single forever?

[Kalika]

I want to know how many of you truly think you are meant to be single (unmarried) forever...

 

I always find a guy that's totally wrong for me. Usually the guys I end up with are pretty dysfunctional. I admit that I can be too. My life is chaotic sometimes. Often I'm lazy and selfish and don't feel like giving up my time to try to meet anyone because it usually backfires on me.

 

I honestly believe I'll always be alone. I don't want a guy around all the time. I don't think I could live with any guy. I think he would get on my nerves. If I sleep with a guy, I want him gone right after. I don't want him hanging around me. I know this sounds incredibly selfish and pessimistic, but that's how I'm feeling about dating right now. Actually, this is how I've felt for years. The sick part of it is, most people think I must be lonely, but I'm not. I have dated recently and of course it went bad as usual, and I'd just rather be alone. Sometimes I think the only reason I date is just because I'm trying to undo whatever damage has been done that's making me so antagonistic towards dating and relationships.

 

I'm just wondering if there's anyone else out there that feels like I do... I don't know if this is me, or just a phase.

[Hope75]

If you are happy on your own, do you see anything wrong with that?

[Considerate Empath]

I think I'm meant to be alone forever - but I'm fine with it. I prefer being alone. "No use in putting in any more people on this sinking ship of which I am captain" - right?

 

 

This is just my opinion though - please don't see it as advice or anything

 

//C.E.

[weePi]

yeah, i am just like you. well, sort of ...

 

ive had pretty girls attracted to me, but i just don't want a relationship (even if i'm attractedd to them physically) ... and i cant stand kids, and most women want kids in the future.

 

even though i have a good life, i am not happy with the world, and the last thing i want to be is a babysitter for the rest of my life.

 

i see married couples, and i am glad i am not them. not because i'm a player and i need my freedom (i'm still a virgin for goodness sake). i just don't want that kind of life.

 

i won't lie, sometimes i feel so lonely and desire the company of a woman. the older i get, the more frequent (and powerful) that feeling is ... but once i get over it, i am usually fine ...

 

I do feel as if I am meant to be single...

 

Have had great relationships. One lasted 5 years. Everything was great to start with, then we moved in together, bought a place together, financially committed, living like a married couple then one day, the feeling of 'being in love' just disappered from my end! ](*,) He was a great guy, decent, good-manners, polite, kind, gentle etc etc... but i had to fall out of love with him.

 

I've been having some casual ones. It does make me think why bother? I can't settle with second best. When I do find a first, we wont be together after few years anyway! I think the problem is me, not others.

 

I do love having a guy around, for the physical closeness and all. Relationship wise, well, I am not so sure anymore if it's meant for me!

[Entomon]

In my culture, we have a traditional belief that when we are born, we carry a scroll that inscribes our life as a timeline in stages. So when an event occurs (whether tragic or celebratory), we simply say, "It's written in your scroll." I never believed this but now I do.

 

I was with someone throughout high school, college and for a few years of my career but it just wasn't meant to be. Since then, I dated but haven't really been in a serious relationship with anyone. I always felt that my time to be a wife, a mother expired when that relationship ended.

 

So yes, I too believe that I'm destined to remain single from here on. It's written in my scroll.

[itsallgrand]

I have been going through this. I've had a few relationships that I loved during the time, but with a lot of messiness.

Went through: engagement that did not come to be - dashing of hopes to be wife, mother, and home.

That hit hard, that one, and stuck. Because since then my relationships have either been fleeting fun ones, or my recent attempt at "independent but together" which ended in betrayal.

 

Between feeling messed up and used up, destined for a life of singlehood and relationships-that-end-too-soon/relationships-that-don't-dip-deep...

there is:

Truly enjoying being young and responsible to no one but myself

Regrets

 

And recently, longing again to give.

 

Being single can be good. It's giving me time to fill myself up and take care of me. Get my priorities straight.

 

But I no longer believe anyone is destined to be single. We make choices.

Some affect us longer than others.

We all weigh this against that, and have different amounts to give at any one time, different needs and desires of who we want to share with.

 

I'm starting to value the sense of "enjoy what you have". It's the key to opening doors to other things, too!

[Scout]

I feel the human spirit is ultimately geared towards companionship, so don't feel you're "meant" to be alone throughout the rest of your days. Love can knock on your door at any time of your life. The key is to have your heart open when it does. A constant sense of discouragement does not lend well to that.

 

On the other hand, there are many benefits to being single, chiefly that it gives you the freedom, or perhaps I should say focus, to explore many things about yourself and the world around you.

 

So, embrace that while you have it, instead of squandering this time on feeling it's hopeless you'll ever find true love. It's ok to have those occasional moments, but don't let them make up the bulk of this important time in your life.

 

My two cents, anyway.

[weePi]

 

But I no longer believe anyone is destined to be single. We make choices. Some affect us longer than others.

 

I think you are right, to an extend. We make choices. I made the choice to end it with my ex because I am no longer in love with him. I decided not to be in a relationship for a year straight after that cos I wasnt ready for one. I am now single because I decided not to have a boyfriend just for the reason of feeling lonely. We do need to give credits to ourselves sometimes, I guess!

 

The good thing about living in this century is that we have the OPTION to make our own choices... Less pressure from family and society to be married and re-produce.

[SW]

I ws going to make a post just like this. I feel like I will alwya be alone too. I dont want to be , but I kep meeting woman just like you described yourself.

[Batya33]

Ideally, a person who decides to be single should decide that from a positive mind set and a feeling of empowerment, not "all [men, women] are [fill in generalized bad stuff] so I give up."

 

I am particularly impressed with women who are honest about not wanting children because I think some people have kids out of pressure from society or their partners - I am thinking about the thread by the guy who can't bond with his new daughter.

[iwishiknew]

I am 28 years old, I never danced with a girl, never been on a date, never had a relationship with a girl and the worst part of all is I still haven't had my first kiss yet All of this tells the picture right there that I am doomed to be single..Its going to be a long lonely sad life for me.

 

I kinda feel and think that I was born to be single and unmarried forever..From all the turn downs, rejections I had since I was a teen and in my 20's, which hurt alot..From my experiences I had, I feel helpless because I can't attract any females at all. In the beginning of my life, if I knew my life would be like this, I wouldn't want to be born at all because this really hurts and tears me apart everyday.

[emit_remmus]

Yeah, I've done everything except stick my penis inside a woman and get involved in a serious relationship, and I too get the feeling I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life.

 

Sometimes, I get this stupid feeling that I'm all alone in this world when I really have lots of friends and female company. I think what I really want is sex. Yeah its selfish, but I don't even know what I really want. I don't really know if I want a relationship or not. Today I asked myself, why would I ask out this girl sittin in front of me? The first thought that entered my mind was "I want to do her."

[tmp0620]

Stop going out with lame guys.

[Kalika]

Stop going out with lame guys.

 

Sure will, thanks for the info

[Jay Cutler]

Sometimes I think so even though I'm sure I'm a good catch. I'm just way too socially lazy to take the steps necessary to not remain single. Plus I just don't get the breaks others do.