andy5128 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Hi All Just wanted to vent a bit as the weekends are the hardest time when getting through a break up. When only a few months back I would be looking forward to going out for a meal, out to a party or for a few drinks or just a trip to the cinema. The weekends just seem so empty lately! With the emptiness comes the thoughts and what if's and so on! Argh!! Just feel like billy no mates at the moment, got some good friends and they are there if I need them but they have lives and have girlfriends/wifes so don't want to be hanging around with me all the time.. Going through the NC and been 9 days and not doing too bad on that, just trying to keep myself busy. Now go to the Gym 4 nights a week may have to start going a weekend too just to keep myself busy. I love the outdoors so may join to some group or something! Anyway sorry for the moan folks, I'm sure you agree that weekends seem to be the toughest. Andy Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I hear ya man. The weekends stink! I forget what I used to do on the weekends before the ex but I know I had fun. Things will slowly go back to normal. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I know its farthest from your mind, but find someone to date. Be honest with them and just have fun. Thats what I have done and its been great. She has been through a divorce and knows where I am at emotionally. Yes its hard to find someone who will let you heal, but if your honest and they like you, you may be surprised. Let your ex wonder what you are doing all weekend? Mine would die if she knew how I spent the day yesterday. Wink Wink! Link to comment
Dubb Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Great Idea. I have not met anyone as of yet tho. I mean I could grab just anyone if I really had to but I am picky! I am ready to date it's just finding someone I want to invest time in I guess. Link to comment
laboheme Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I think you've got some great ideas as far as keeping yourself busy! Yes, weekends are the worst, especially holiday weekends. But if you join some kind of outing group, maybe you'll be able to go away on weekend-long trips with people who share your love of the outdoors, and your empty weekends will turn into fun-filled active ones! And keep on going to the gym...you may be heartbroken right now, but you'll have a toned body and good health to show for it! As far as dating...I don't see the harm in just meeting somebody for a single date even if you don't feel that special connection right away. Even if no strong feelings develop, you can still enjoy having a nice conversation with somebody. Maybe you'll get a good friend out of it...or maybe that person will introduce you to other people with whom you are more romantically compatible. The point is getting out there and giving different things a try! Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 I think that's a great idea - joining an outdoors group for weekends. definitely the right thing to do after a breakup. Being outside, meeting new people, relaxing, having fun. You sound like you are on the path to healing, you will do well, don't worry at all! Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted April 8, 2007 Share Posted April 8, 2007 Great Idea. I have not met anyone as of yet tho. I mean I could grab just anyone if I really had to but I am picky! I am ready to date it's just finding someone I want to invest time in I guess. Its more about going out and having a good time. You need to behonest and let people know thats what you are into right now. Im picky too, but are you too picky to make a new friend? Beats sitting home and wondering how much fun the ex is having. I know people here wander about Brian Caniglia's book on how to get you ex back. It has three simple rules. 1. NO CONTACT for a month. 2. Find a hobby, work out and read about building positive relationships and 3. Date 3 new people. It rebuilds your confidence. You dont have to promise them the world, just have a good time. Another glimmer of hope from that book . Approximately 75% of rebound relationships dont work. Ask SD about when his girl came back. Right off the rebound. My ex's girlfriend told me the ex's new guy is a jerk. Had she said he was a nice guy, then I would be worried! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 Hi Everyone Thanks for your thoughts and words of wisdom. Sounds like I am on the right track then, I do actually have a get together planned for this wednesday evening with a former female work colleague. Not seen her in 5 years!! So looking forward to that. A little concerned that she is single and obviously so am I now but i'm not quite ready to jump into a rebound thing but don't want to start the night by saying not long fell out with someone and just looking for friendship! How would you approach this as want to have her as a friend and maybe over time something may develop. I just don't want to hurt her or get hurt kinda thing.. Going to look around for some outdoor group or a mountain biking group as love all that kind of stuff. I got the Brian Caniglia e-book Puckdog, I guess you have too. I am kinda using it but adapting it to myself. I agree it rebuilds your confidence if nothing else. Best of luck everyone and thanks again for your advice.. Andy Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Andy - just go out with her and see what direction it heads. I dont know the details of your break up, but you may surprise yourself. If it gets to a point where you feel like its moving faster than your ready then just tell her you want to slow down. Tell her you are enjoying the time you are spending with her but you dont have your whole heart to give. Girls are very emotionally sensitive and would rather you are honest and up front than lead them on and dump them. If she likes you, she will be OK with it. As long as your honest. Let her know you want to be fair to her, and make sure everything moves at a rate that is comfortable for you. If she is not comfortable with the situation, well at least you have 1 date down and 2 to go. Link to comment
andy5128 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 Thanks Puckdog, appreciate your advice. I plan to be honest with her and yeah 1 date down 2 to go.. Well went to a gig with a current work colleague some weeks back so does that count as no. 2!? Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Thanks Puckdog, appreciate your advice. I plan to be honest with her and yeah 1 date down 2 to go.. Well went to a gig with a current work colleague some weeks back so does that count as no. 2!? It does in my book, and why stop at 3? I have been out with 4 since me and the ex decided to file and the latest has been great, but she knows where I stand. I still miss my ex and think about her while I am on dates, but she probably thinks about me sometimes too and I take some comfort in that. If she doesnt, then why should she have all the fun! Go out and have fun! The one thng you can also gain from it is some introspect into the other persons side. 2 of the girls I have been out with divorced recently too. And they both have the same story, rebounded with a idiot they thought they were in love, dated the jerk for a few months and BOOM it collapsed. One was even hurt when she found out her ex who she left was now dating. I see my ex having the same experience and it gives me that mustard grain of hope that she will be calling me in a few months when the jerk hurts her. She needs to realize that the majority of people you date are jerks. If she does call, Im sure I will be interested in trying because I am not even near ready to be committed again and thats fine. If she doesnt call, I know now that I have made changes that caused this and prior relationships to fail and when the next commitment comes along I will be better off/ Plus, I have gotten in to the best shape of my life! And I learned that I can pick up 4 girls in 3 months! Hit the gym, have dinner with a few girls, and work on you. I'm not a big Justin Timberlake fan, but I love his new song because what goes around does come back around! Link to comment
andy5128 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 Fine words Puckdog, I agree totally. Not going to put my life on hold. 4 girls in 3 months.. good work!! Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 Fine words Puckdog, I agree totally. Not going to put my life on hold. 4 girls in 3 months.. good work!! Its easy when you try! There's tons of them out there! Link to comment
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