Was he right or wrong to ask for the kiss?

[Anamarie89]

Was he right or wrong to ask for the kiss?

 

I had my first boyfriend over summer break at summer camp, and I'll have you know that I have never been kissed before. And I told him that.

 

So what happens is about 30 hours (he asked me out around 3 pm the previous day) after he asked me out, we were at a summer camp nighttime activity and he said "Let's sneak away..." so I did, not having any experiance in this sort of thing, not knowing he was thinking of a kiss.

 

Then we found a 'secluded' spot and we started talking and here is how the conversation went.

 

"So, um, one of the girl's in your cabin said that you said you wouldn't mind kissing me..."

 

I blush deeply. Good thing it's dark, but it still shows in my voice. I had told that to my friend as a Truth for Truth or Dare... "Yeah..." I reply nervously.

 

"Well, do you wanna?" He acts a little embarrassed too, but in retrospect, it could have been just an act. he's usually really outgoing.

 

"Yeah, but sort of... I mean, I dunno what to do." I'm trying to avoid the topic here. In my experiance, you are supposed to wait a little longer than 30 hours to get to the kiss. And I don't even know what it feels like, so I have this idea of next-step-is-sex-little-girl-bwhaha-right-to-hell-with-you.

 

"Well, what do you think of when you think of a kiss..?"

 

Yeah right, I'm gonn tell THAT! "Um, I dunno." I sound like an idiot. "What do you mean?"

 

He pauses and snorts, embarrassed. I know i sound like a third grader, thanks for rubbing it in! "Well, like do you think of it as um.... a kiss like *makes tiny kissing sound* or like making out?"

 

"Um..." I know exactly what he is talking about, but I don't want to say it out loud. Don't ask me why. I just say. "Well, whats the difference?"

 

"Well..." he is so embarrassed now. I like the power, but I know it isn't getting anywhere. "Making out is like... slower, and with tongues... wagging back and forth..." he waggles his fingers to demonstrate.

 

"I dunno, what do you want me to say." The waggling is so laughably funny. He's treating me like a second grader. Oh god, this is so embarrassing! I can't say that out loud, though.

 

"Well, I could teach you... If you want, I mean."

 

I nearly throw up. Is this the way I want it to be? Isn't the first kiss supposed to be special? Aren't you just supposed to lean forward and it magically happens? I'm sooooo confused! "Um..."

 

Just then somebody discovers us. He swears loudly and profanely. I'm secretly relieved. My face is redder than a tomato.

 

He breaks up with me the next day.

 

So, guys, anybody? What was going on in his mind! I really did want to kiss him, but I had no idea what it would be like! What did I do wrong???

[Yos]

Well, I've never kissed before myself, but I do not believe you have done anything wrong, that guy seemed a little hasty. I'm no professionaly, but I say he is not the right person for you. And breaking up because you didn't kiss... seems quite odd. I hope I answered you.

[alexis100]

You're overanalyzing the situation. Maybe you're not mature enough for the situation. My first kiss was in fifth grade because my friends made me and I was NOT ready...i almost threw up, and it's not that it's nasty, it's actually quite nice...i just wasn't ready. So if you're that worried about it, you're not ready. A kiss really isn't anything to stress out about.

 

Alexis

[Gunther]

sounds like he was not in the right you should only kiss when YOU really want to. your just lucky you didnt waste your first kiss on something like this, you should just be thankfull of that. Usualy the first kiss is a very pleasurable for both people there should be NO question about if you wanna or not, you either do or you don't. dont let anyone else let you think otherwise.

[nona021]

hey,

i'd like to advocate for your ex here actually. Try and sit in his shoes. Lets say you start going out with a guy you really like, and ask him outright if he wants to kiss you, and he never says yes. To him it probably seemed like you were dancing around the subject so you could avoid kissing, and specifically, avoid kissing HIM. I know that he had that little tidbit from your friend to boost his confidence, but he was likely so nervous that it didn't take much to make his self esteem plummet. He could have broken up with you because he was embarrassed.

 

Also, you may consider holding off on the kissing, as you seem really anxious about it. Try not to worry so much about the scenario, or how its gonna be. Just let it happen, and find out that way (its really the only way). Few first kisses are massively spontaneous, and your guy was probably prepping you since he knew it was your first, and didn't want to shock you.

 

Anyway thats all just one perspective. Don't stress, and don't try to rush things. Remember, it's all gonna happen sooner or later and later isnt a bad thing.

[crazychicrs]

Ok, I just got my frist kiss too! And it was soo messed up, I mean everyone says it's perfect and stuff like that but it was.... weird! Ok, here's the story:

 

We were at this "End of Summer" Party at this guy name Aaron's house. We were all around the age of 13 some 12 but pretty much the same age! Well, this guy that is like sooo cute and smart and funny was talking to me and I liked him! So Aaron decides it would be fun to play "7 in Heaven!" I had never played the game before but heard about it and was like "Ok wutever I'll play" Well this guy I was talking to is Aarons best friend and asks to pick someone frist. then, he picks me! (big surprise!) I was really nervous and we went in the closet and he said "You know how to play this game right?" And I was like "Duh!" But then he said "oh, I just learned" I giggled but nervously and I guess he noticed because then he said "I'm nervous too! I never thought going to some dumb party like this could mean my first kiss!" I was startled because I was almost positive he had been kissed before but I guess that's where gossip get's ya! "Well," i said "We don't have too..." Then really quickly he said " But I want to... all my friends talk about it and stuff like that but mostly because I really like you!" I was soo nervous that I was literly frozen and he was like "Is it ok?" And I guess I shook my head or something because next thing I know he was really close and it happened! Yea, I liked it but I never thought it would be soo.... messy and weird! Well, right when he leaned back away from me Aaron opened the door and everyone laugh because he was only a few inches from my face and Aaron and some others where listening thourgh the door soo.... it was weird!

 

But the answer to your question is no you weren't wrong to say "no" it will happen when it's meant to but don't keep sayin "no" because it's got to happen sometime ok? lata!

[Anamarie89]

Hey, that's a great story! I actually did get a get a kiss the night he broke up with me, our cabin went to a campout with another cabin and they played truth or dare. I didn't want to seem like a loner, even though the kiss i was REALLY hoping for wasn't from any of the guys at the campout *tear*

 

I didn't tell the guy I was kissing it was my first, though, but I bet he could tell. Maybe he just thought I was a horrible kisser? At any rate, I'm glad you told your first kiss story! I wish mine had been like yours! (You know, where the guy actually liked you back. And you were a year younger than me) Mine wasn't that messy though, it just felt like... for lack of a better word... a tongue. (lol, sorry, i couldn't resist) I had to wipe the saliva off my face afterwards, THAT was gross. So yeah, I guess I shoulda posted this on the original message, huh? But i thought mine was already way too long.

[Mar]

lol......I still associate the smell of skunk spray with my first kiss/true crush. I was at my aunt's summer home and had met this guy Chris (I was 13, he was 18 and thought I was 16) and we hung out all week together. The night before I left, he comes roaring up on his quad after I thought I wasn't going to see him before I left, and we sat talking for awhile. Eventually my aunt came out and said I had to come in (it was quite late) and he asked me to walk to his quad with him. I did, feeling very nervous, since I knew what was coming. He asks me to kiss him, and I did, on the cheek, acting like I was playing. He says "No, I want one on the mouth", so I gave him a peck on the mouth. He says "No, like you MEAN it!" So I acted flirty, since I had NO clue how to do it, and said "Show me." Wow.......that worked well.......!!!