Should I ask her??? What's going on?

[needadvice11111111111]

Hi Everyone, I need a little advice. I have been with the most wonderful women for almost 2 years (in May). I realize that is not that long, I have had a couple other relationships that have lasted longer, but nothing like this. I can honestly say I knew she was the one from the first time I saw her. I have a great job and could support both of us. I really feel comfortable in my life, but she is the thing that is missing right now.

 

Well here is the issue... In Sept we decided to move into together, I was hesitant and didn't know if it was such a good idea, but I knew it would make her happy so I gave in. It actually turned out to the best thing! We went to bed together and woke up together and that’s all I ever wanted. She has a job that requires a lot of travel, and she was talking about switching to a different position that would require no travel. I supported her with whatever decision. It was amazing the love and attraction we had for each other.

 

In Oct she suffered an injury which did not allow her to work. I did not think it was that big of a deal and was kind of excited that I would get to see her every night. After a couple months she became depressed. I didn’t realize how different it was for her, I would at least go to work and see other people everyday, where all she would see is just me 5 out of the 7 days. I told her to go out with her friends and even gave her spending money since she didn’t get as much while she wasn’t working. She then started to really question everything and acting out saying I was holding her back, which I wasn’t. I have always wanted her to have her independence and own life, this was the first time I had ever seen her like this.

 

Last month she said she needed some space and time. While I was away for a weekend she moved out completely without telling me. She started to feel ‘closter phobic’ when we would talk about her feelings and us. She started back at work a couple weeks ago, about 2 days after she moved out.

 

We talked after I got back and I told her that this whole situation really caught me off guard and I needed to clear my head and think about things. I think this really broke her heart. So now we don’t talk everyday, maybe 1 every 5, and I have seen her maybe twice on our ‘date night’, which was lunch and a movie. When I dropped her off last time I got upset because I didn’t feel that is was right, I guess everything kind of hit me at that point. That was 5 day’s ago, I haven’t spoken to her since.

 

I feel that since she was out of work everything has changed. With this time, this is what I have come up with. I’m going to give her space for March and April, then go on one of our ‘date nights’ and see how she is feeling about us at the beginning of May. If it goes well, then I’m going to propose to her in May. I’m hoping that with her working again, she might come to realize what we had and appreciate me more. And with the space and time we are giving each other that too will help us in the long run.

 

What I have been telling all my other friends in similar relationships is, the thing I regret the most not proposing to her last summer when things were amazing. The only reason I didn’t is because I thought it would last forever so why rush into it? I feel at this point we are at a fork in the road, and she doesn’t know which way she wants to go. If she chooses the ‘other road’, then at least I will know and I can move on.

 

I have heard that the 2 year mark is the hardest point to get through, because your passionate love you have for someone changes to the long-term endearing love. What do you think? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

[melrich]

I don't know but reading your post I feel like she is taking her frustration at not being able to work out on you. I actually don't think this is about your relationship at all, I think it's about her situation and you just happened to be closest at hand to cop it.

 

I don't think you can do much but give her the space she feels she needs and see how she resolves this herself. Putting any sort of pressure on her is just likely to push her further.