Ex birthday

[annalise23]

Just a quick one, if you are doing NC and feeling quite strong and happy with the situation, and its your ex birthday, would you send them a text/email just saying happy birthday?

 

I don't want to appear like I don't care or have forgot. But I also don't want to give the wrong impression that I want to get back together.

 

Any ideas?

[in_the_mirror]

i wouldn't do it....i have done the no contact and wound up sending a birthday text....my ex got the wrong impression and thought it was an invitation to try and get a hold of me and start calling, texting, im-ing, all that stuff. i'm sure they won't die if they don't get a text from you on their birthday.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I agree with in the mirror.

 

Don't send ANY messages of ANY kind. Who cares what impression he has, yeh? You're trying to give the impression you've moved on, right?

[annalise23]

True, I have moved on and I am doing ok.

Just wasnt sure if I should wish it him, I do care about him but I also think it may be giving him reason to think I want to get back, like what happened to the mirror!

 

I will hold off then.

[thlst3]

No need to send anything... If you do, you're opening a line of communication. You're making a point, 1) You no longer want contact 2) You've moved on or trying to.

 

Birthday's, Easter, Memorial Day, old aniversaries date, etc... it's no longer significant at this time. In a year or 2 when you're finally healed, then maybe you can send a card or email.

[spikespiegel]

I say no also. My ex's birthday is coming up soon, and there is no way she'll be getting a Happy Birthday message from me. She showed me that she didn't want me in her life anymore when she broke up with me, so that's that.

[numbhead]

.... its gonna be a bummer for me as its my ex's 21st in afew months.. im not going to contact her.. but it sucks cos i had plans for her and everything... i hope to god i dont feel like i do now when it comes around... or that wil be a s** t day!

 

...so dont contact your ex!

[ImThatGirl]

I think any type of contact with him even just a generous "happy birthday" wish will be a door to him being persistent and trying to get you back.

 

You don't want to start it all over do you? I mean the sweetness from him and you having to be strong and not go back?

[annalise23]

I am defo not sending him happy birthday.

I foolishly checked his myspace.

All the things he promised... All not happening. I am stronger for it now. He said he would change. Yet he is not. In fact he is doing all the things he did wrong in the first place.

LOL!!!

 

Not checking it again. Big mistake. Although i was doing ok, I can finally let go of any thoughts 'can he change' NOOOO!!

[Beyondthesea]

Sadly you'll find out more disappointing things as time goes on. He's demonstrating now how much he's 'changed'

[lady00]

I plan on sending my ex a bday text message because we see each other often (just by circumstance, not by choice) and we're friendly toward each other. If you don't see your ex ordinarily and you can do complete NC I don't really think it makes sense to send any kind of message.

 

Edit: I just saw your post saying you're not going too...I think that's a good plan.