5 mos. of NC. Should I drop her a line?

[settinuplife]

I am missing my ex so much today. I have been in strict NC with her for 5 mos. today. I was doing fine yesterday, thinking of other girls I'd like to be with (even though they are taken). I have been such a rollercoaster for 5 mos. and it's killing me.

 

6 mos. ago she came back in my life and finally moved away and broke up from her abusive boyfriend. She said she wanted to start over and take things slow and I agreed. She was great for 2 weeks, paid lots of attention to me, and was like a dream girl. Her ex would still try to call and I think she ignored him half the time and she said she wanted to get her number changed so by that I really believed she wanted to move on. By the end of 2 weeks I was getting a bit impatient wondering if we were actually gonna be together, we weren't really having sex, and she really wasn't staying at my house but another friends. I talked to her about it and she said she did wanna be with me, and have a future she just needs time to get her life together and she wanted to get her own place for awhile. The plan was she was to move into my new house, but now she wanted her own place for awhile.

 

She stayed at my place one night and got up at 6am and started texting and I knew who she was texting. I decided to check her myspace later that day and her ex-boyfriends and I found they sent I love you's to each other. Well that crushed me and when she came back over I confronted her about it and said she wasn't over her ex and she said she was over him and I said no your not, then she grabbed her stuff and left, that is the last time I saw her .

 

A couple hours later I checked her myspace again and saw she had written a blog to her ex saying she indeed wasn't over him etc. I texted her that all I wanted to do was give her another chance and that one day she will be ******with that same way she ******with me, and that she lied to me, and she replied back with I did not lie to you and that I messed with her too! * * *?

 

About a week later she sent me a text saying how did I want her to give the money she owes me back to me and I replied 2 days later and said please get a money order and mail it to me, thank you, then she said I will get it to you when you can grow up so I sent another nasty text back saying how she messed with my head, and lied to me and she said she never lied and thats the last text I got.

 

It has been 5 mos. strict NC since then. This girl when she was dating her ex always ran to me when they had problems said she regreted breaking up with me, still loved me, was still in love with me, wanted us to be together again, but was still with her ex, always called and texted me, would get jealous if I was with other girls.

 

She now jumped into another relationship after she left me and supposedly tried to get back with her ex but they now hate each other for some reason, so she got into another relationship a week later with someone new! and they are supposedly still together, but her ex says she talks sh** on him and has cheated on him, I'm guessing cause she's not really happy but just has to be with someone. I don't know if she's tried to call me, I found out she changed her #, but that is nothing new, she has changed her # 7 times in 3 years. I have gotten strange numbers, but no private numbers, so I dont know.

 

It has been 5 mos. and it's killing me that we haven't talked and I wonder all the time if she's missing me and thinks about me. I was so good for her I could of given her anything. Do you think I should write her a line, an email or card or something. She has said her biggest fear is rejection so it makes me wonder if she wont call or write cause she'll think I'll reject her. When we were talking 6 mos. ago I remember saying this was her last chance for us to try to work things out when we were starting out again. I just don't know what to do. I'm afraid if I don't do something I'll always wonder, what do you all think?

[lady00]

Don't do it. From what you have described she sounds like she treated you terribly! I think you need to do something else...anything else to get your mind off of her. When you're ready you need to do a lot of soul-searching to try to understand why you want want to be back with someone like that or even speak to her. Really, it sounds like she is toxic.

[majord23]

I was doing fine yesterday

 

And you will feel fine again tomorrow or the next day buddy. Hang in there.

Do NOT act on emotion, and do not think that contacting her will make you feel better. You don't sound ready to deal with the worst case scenario when you contact her - I'd advise you to wait until you are.

 

It doesn't sound like she is someone that is going to give you much comfort at the moment.

[settinuplife]

Do you think that I should have been more patient with her when she said she wanted to take things slow?

 

I guess I am afraid she doesn't think of me anymore. She did put me through some bad times, but she is bi-polar so I guess I'm too understanding cause of that.

[Skippy]

Answer... "NO"

Bi-polar is her problem - relationships is not based on sympathy.