Womens Sex Drives in Marriage

[Gus Almighty]

My wife acts like she wants to have sex about once a week. And during those times I almost feel like she really didnt want to and was doing it because she felt guilty, just by the way she asks me if I want to have sex. Also when I want to she usually doesnt, almost seems angry that I tried to initiate it.

 

Recently I bought her a vibrating bunny thing and we used it together once, then a few mornings later she used it by herself early before I was awake.

 

Is this normal or should I attempt to try something to make things better?

 

About a week ago I laid her out a nice thin short robe and some underwear and a bra and left her a note asking her to put it on because I wanted to make love to her. She got angered over it and complained saying that I know shes not like that and never has been which ruined our evening and she said she didnt want to even have sex now, after she had mentioned earlier that she wanted to. She has an issue with her weight that shes been working on by exercise and changing eating habits for info.

 

Feel free to ask any questions that may help you better understand my situation.

[chai714]

Women connect with men through conversation. This conversation makes them feel close to a man, which in turn somehow sparks their hormones.

 

Men connect with women through sex. If it solely the decision of a man, we would walk up to her (without saying a word) and have sex. And men would be perfectly fine with this, but women would not.

 

From reading your post, I got the impression that there is a breakdown in communication between you and your wife. You buying her an outfit she did not desire offended her. Why? Because it's something YOU wanted, not her. Put your desires aside for a minute. Love is about wanting what's good for them - what they want and need - not you. I understand that you want to increase the frequency of sex in your marriage but getting her things that you want isn't going to make her want to have it.

 

Remember, women want sex after they feel a strong emotional connection has been made. When she talks, you listen then paraphrase what she said back to her to let her know you were listening. If this doesn't work, come back again and post the results.

[Gus Almighty]

I didnt buy her the things, I got them out of her drawer. I will try as you suggested because yes we have been having those problems lately, lots of problems which if you search my posts you will see the original thread that brought me here.

[TheFoglifter]

... has an issue with her weight that shes been working on by exercise and changing eating habits for info."

 

You are LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY that she is taking initiative to change things. I envy you greatly, because mine loves to complain about her image, but won't do a damn thing to change it. As such, I feel like I am being punished for her inactivity.

 

I'd like to ask HOW she decided to start working out. I have asked so many people how to fix this problem, and it always seems to end up in the same place: that SHE has to want to do it, and only she can make that decision.

 

You are also very lucky that she is giving you sex whether she wants to or not. Contrary to what some will say, this is NOT selfish on your part -- it is quite nice and very selfless of her to give placing your interests over her own. I'm sure there are 101 things you do for HER that you yourself do not enjoy doing, other than the fact that it makes her happy.

[TheFoglifter]

... women want sex after they feel a strong emotional connection has been made. When she talks, you listen then paraphrase what she said back to her to let her know you were listening. If this doesn't work, come back again and post the results.

 

I can fast forward here. I have ALREADY demonstrated all the emotional stuff. I say "I love you" way more than she does, and I listen all the time.

 

You said post the results when that doesn't work. It hasn't, so what is the next step.

[chai714]

Telling her "I love you" isn't listening - that's talking and telling her how you feel. Listening is part of it. Being independent is also part of it. Getting interests outside of your relationship and exhibiting the attitude "I don't need you but you're nice to have around" will increase chances of getting sex. I don't like to see men focus on getting sex because the harder you try, the more likely you are to fail. Get some outside interests and leave the house a couple nights a week. Join some club, sport, or have a guys night out. This way, your women won't take you for granted and you won't be home begging for sex. Quit being pathetic.

 

What makes women desire sex? Usually, it has a lot to do with the emotional connection they feel at the time. And don't ever directly ask for sex. Seduce. Start with a backrub. Play with her hair while she's talking. Or just back off altogether and listen. You won't always get sex but the closer she feels to you, the more it will happen. But I emphasize - diversify your sources of happiness. Get independent and don't make her think she has control of when you get sex. This is why you have other interests outside of the relationship.

[doyathink]

What makes women desire sex? Usually, it has a lot to do with the emotional connection they feel at the time

Bingo!

 

 

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