lovesickkk Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Here is my situation.....about 2 years ago, I was a party promoter and just sent invites via myspace to girls in our city to come out to our parties. Well, one of the girls that came brought a friend girl named Jae. When I was first introduced to Jae, I was immediately attracted (not alcohol induced haha). All I could think was "wow, she is so beautiful." So when I met her, I offered her and her friend a drink. They obliged, and one of my wingmen started to talk to her fren (Nessa), as I made small talk with her. Turns out, I ended up buying her three shots of tequilla, back, to back, to back, which was cool, no big deal. Being that i was a promoter, I had a camera with me, and so we all took a few pictures together. Including a picture of just me and her. After that, I told her I'll catch up with her later and acted busy. I didnt want to act like i was sweatin her. So her and her friend danced the night away. At the end of the night, I had to help close up, so I didnt get a chance to say goodbye. No number, no nothing =(. On the way home, I couldnt stop telling my wingman about how hot Jae was and was wondering if she had a bf or not. Well, I found out the next day, that my wingman had told Nessa, that I was interested in Jae, but Nessa told him, "thats sweet, but she has a bf." When he told me, I was like "damnnn...." Later that day, I get a message response to one of the mass messages I had sent out inviting people to come to our party. Well it turns out, it was her!! I was like, awesome! haha. She just replied and put, "If this is the Vin that I had met last night, thanks for the drinks, we had fun! - Jae =)" I then emailed her back and asked her, "Glad you had fun woman, hey do you have AIM?, and what is your e-mail, I'll send you our pic from last night...they're really funny. lol" After I sent out my reply, I clicked on her myspace page, and it turns out she DID have a boyfriend So I knew that I had to play it cool with this chick. Well, she gave me her AIM and her e-mail, and I e-mailed the pics to her and added my own funny captions to them. When she got them, she was like, "The pics were so funny, i was laughing at your captions..lol" I ended up giving her my number over AIM, and told her to just call me if she ever felt like comig out to any of our parties again. She responded with, thats cool, and also gave me her number. Well, we would talk on aim here and there, small talk, thats about it. She rarely got on AIM anyways. I knew she had a boyfriend, so I didnt try to make a move or anything. About a month later, I ran into her at the club, and she was with a group of friends. I was like, "hey, remember me?" and smiled. She did, and gave me a hug, I then reached for her hand, and said, lets go grab a drink. I walked her thru the crowd hand in hand, and we had a drink. After that, I walked her back to her friends. (didnt hold her hand this time) I told her, I'll catch up to her later, and that I was goin to hang out with my friends. At the end of the night we both caught eye contact from about 20 feet away, but we didnt say anything. I didnt want to go up to her and act like I was sweatin her, and she was talkin to some guy who seemed to be her friend, or maybe it was just some guy trying to hit on her. I knew it wasnt her boyfriend, cuz I knew how he looked like from her myspace page. A 2nd instance I ran into her was about 3 months later, I ran into her at the club, she had just come from a wedding, she she was in a dress and looked absolutely STUNNING. I actually caught her looking at me first, and I caught her eye. She smiled and came over to me, and was like, "heyyyy"..and we gave each other a hug. My first words were, 'Wow, you look hot." and I smiled, she didnt say anything, she just smiled back. I told her lets have a drink, so we went to the bar, had small talk, etc, then in the corner of my eye, i saw her boyfren with his friends, but she still stayed by me at the bar until we got our drinks. She never introduced me to him either, thank god. lol We made small talk, and I told her it was good seein her again, but that I have to look for my friends. We exchanged our "i'll see you laters", and that was it for that night. Again, we would randomly talk online once in awhile, cuz she rarely gets on. And I finally started dating a new chick, who I would end up being for a year and a half. Well about 6 months along with me dating this new chick, Jae got online one night, and I asked her how she had been. She responded with not good. Me and my boyfriend have been arguing. "He screams at me, etc" "I don't know why i put up with it" etc etc.... I was like damn, so i asked her what her plans were for tonight, she answered, I dunno, nothing, I just want to get out. I decided to throw out, "well meet me at whatever club, i go to", and she was like, "nah, no clubbing, I'd rather just chill someware then go to a club." I'm thinking , "DAMMIT". I have a girlfriend, so that would be pretty foul if I hung out with this girl one-on-one. But if she met me at the club, then it wouldnt be my fault if we "accidentally" bumped into each other at the club. But being the good boyfriend that I was, I just told her,"come on, just go, if you change your mind, call me up". She was like, "i don't mind doing somethin more low key, but not in the mood to go clubbin.." Well, she ended up stayin home that night. That was my PERFECT opportunity to be a rebound, but I blew it...lol DAMN me for being nice, because I found out 2 months ago, that my gf was cheating on me anywaysLesson learned: {mod edit} being loyal!! lol Turns out Jae got back with her bf, but they have had a rocky relationship, because about 2 months ago, when I told her that me and my gf had broken up, she told me that her and her bf were going thru ALOT of rocky times, and that she's tryin to decide if she should continue with this relationship or not. I was being a friend and telling her, "well, you do what makes u happy, u deserve it." She even said, "If he cant treat me the way I deserve to be treated, then I know there are others who can." My response, "Yup, you're right." *HINT HINT* A week later, she tells me by AIM that she was snooping around and caught her bf callin his ex while she was out of town, by lookin at his cell phone records.....I asked her are you going to confront him? and she said, "no, cuz then he'll think i'm psycho and insecure". I was like well {mod edit}, he gave you reason to be. And she was like, " yeah, he's cheated on me so many times, but I always take him back." I'm thinking what the hell!, Drop that loser, and get with me! HELLOOO!! hahaha Of course I didnt say that though, dumb girls, can you not see what is right in front of you?!?!? Last week we talked on AIM like almost everyday from mon-fri. These were rather long convo's too about an hr long each. We talked about a variety of stuff. Nothing to deep. Somehow I brought up horoscopes, and she was like, "pisces and scorpio's get along." And i was like, " are you sure, because, I cant stand you!", and she put "Yeah right, you know I'm irresistible!!" and i just replied with, "corny...lol". In other convo's she typed, about how, she is a really good gf, but that her boyfriend just doesnt see it. And i was messen with her and put, "What??!?!, you're more then just a pretty face?" I drop lil hints like that here and there. Hoping she will know that I am interested, but not going to make a move, since technically she has a boyfriend, and the worse part is he lives with her! So regardless, this is going to be a MAJOR work in progress, and I will be in it for the long haul, if i want to ever be with this chick! But anywayss, this past weekend was when it really got good. She AIM'd me and was like "boo." I aked her how she's doin cuz i know she been goin thru some issues with her boyfriend. she responed, "Sad and stresseddd", " I NEED A DRINK." *bells were goin off in my head* I was like dont stress, you'll be ok, she was like yeah i know, but I still need a drink...lol" So i asked her, "are you tryin to hit me up for drinks?...lol" and she responded, "yes, i'm tryin to hit you up for drinks, can you not get a hint." So i tried to play hard to get, and was like, "well i would but i have a test to study for that is 2days away." DUMB ME, she was like "ok, thats fine, raincheck for next time!" i got to thinkin, man this is my chance right, this is what i waited 2 years for, {mod edit} the test, i can cram my {mod edit} off the night before! So I Im'd her back and was like, "you know what , I can meet you for drinks, I just looked over the material, and its not that much." She was like, "ok, cool, but i did ask another of my guy friends to go also, and he's bringing his gay friend." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....lol....so she asks, "you're still going to go, right?"......I'm thinking " {mod edit}, if i say no, she'll prob think why ain't he going to go if we are just friends, and 2nd if I say yes, I don't want to hang out with her for the 1st time outside the club, with two other dudes!! But I went ahead and told her, yeah, i'll try to meet you up... ...........i will finish updating this later........ need some thoughts idea's and inputs, and want to make DAMN sure i don't fall in the friend zone!!.... Link to comment
redrose85 Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Oh the friend zone lol. You sound very sweet and like she is gonna get her head on straight and hopefully take you on. That's a cute story. I wanna know what happens next 1 Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 looks like i wrote too much to get any feedback....](*,) ](*,) Link to comment
stefanied26 Posted March 4, 2007 Share Posted March 4, 2007 Wow, guys always do this! (of course not this exactly) My best advice is to just be clear! Say how you feel and see what happens. The hard to get game is so childish, and yet we always play it, just to feel like the person likes us enough. Just for it openly, its the only way not to have regretts i think. 1 Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 4, 2007 Author Share Posted March 4, 2007 Wow, guys always do this! (of course not this exactly)The hard to get game is so childish, and yet we always play it, just to feel like the person likes us enough. So TRUE..... how do i make it clear while she has a bf though? Even though they are on rocky terms, I think its kind of foul to let her know that I like her considering she has a bf? Would that push her away or help my cause? Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 help do i have a chance? Link to comment
caro33 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 You have been flirting with her and she has been flirting back. You know he treats her badly and you know it's rocky. It's not like you have been rampantly hitting on a girl in a happy relationship and encouraging her to cheat. I think you have a good chance, given the flirting and that she contacted you when things started to go sour with the boyfriend. If you really want this girl I agree you need to be upfront. You could say something like: "Jae I know we're friends but it really upsets me when I hear how this boyfriend of yours treats you. I just think it's not right and that you shouldn't be settling for this crap. I, for example, have fancied you ever since I first saw you. I think you're wonderful. If you were my girlfriend there is no way on earth I would risk losing you by acting like a jerk." Obviously use your own language but the point is that you're not saying "come away with me" directly, but you're letting her know where you stand. Why not? Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 caro33, i want to so bad, but obviously its going to be hard just the fact that he lives with her =/ .....i just dont want it to come off as too strong and things get awkward....thanks for ur input though Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 omg, and he lives with her. my advice to anybody in this 'i like a girl but she has a bf' thing. don't do it at all. would you want some guy stepping on your toes? Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 omg, and he lives with her. my advice to anybody in this 'i like a girl but she has a bf' thing. don't do it at all. would you want some guy stepping on your toes? Agreed. I would also ask what you would want out of a relationship with this girl? You already know that she accepts drinks, flirts, and confides in other potential suitors about how bad her relationship with her boyfriend is going. Is this someone you would really want to date or is she just someone you want sleep with? Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 omg, and he lives with her. my advice to anybody in this 'i like a girl but she has a bf' thing. don't do it at all. would you want some guy stepping on your toes? no, not at all, i mean, if shes droppin hints and i am attracted to her, what can i do? Its one thing if she was in a happy relationship, but he's cheated on her numerous times, but i think she sticks with him because there is a comfort zone there. *shrugs* Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 Agreed. I would also ask what you would want out of a relationship with this girl? You already know that she accepts drinks, flirts, and confides in other potential suitors about how bad her relationship with her boyfriend is going. Is this someone you would really want to date or is she just someone you want sleep with? Honestly, i think she is a great catch. She accepts drinks because, well we are friends. I see nothing wrong with that. As for the flirting and confiding, I think she has come to the conclusion that the relationship may eventually end, and just wants to make sure that there's someone out there for her once and if they split. But honestly, she is someone i would really wantto date. We'll see how it goes.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 if you love drama infested women, go for it. Link to comment
antkojm1 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 seriously, just tell her. if nothing is going to happen you need to get it over with now. if something is going to happen, you need to plant the seed now. otherwise you're just wasting your time. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 women that stay with guys like that have issues. Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 5, 2007 Author Share Posted March 5, 2007 women that stay with guys like that have issues. lol...i'm afraid she may have some issues, but usually people dont find those out till they have dated them. We'll see...will keep you guys updated! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 don't find it out until they dated them? bro, she lives with her bf and you think she might have interest in you. and you are thinking of pursuing her? you both have issues. you may be perfect for each other. Link to comment
scotty77 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 Tell her you won't be able to spend much time on the computer for the next few months ,give her your phone number and tell her if she breaks up with her boyfriend to give you a call.Don't waste your time waiting around hoping she will break up with him,what if she never does?? Then you have wasted time when you could be pursuing someone else.Keep her on the backburner for now. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 i still can't believe you are stuck on a girl that is in this situation. find a woman. Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 i still can't believe you are stuck on a girl that is in this situation. find a woman. You can't help how you feel sometimes bro, in 2 years, she is the only girl that other then my ex, that has caught my eye. I see her and i get this feeling i can't describe. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 well then wait until she out of the situation. Link to comment
lovesickkk Posted March 6, 2007 Author Share Posted March 6, 2007 yeah, i guess you guys are right. i have decided to just chill until her and her bf breaks up. i mean, i'm super attracted to her, and am just hoping she knows that there is an interest there. thats all i can do is to plant the seed until she is single. we'll see how it goes! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 6, 2007 Share Posted March 6, 2007 yeah, don't but in. let her get out of it. then less stress for the both of you to work out. Link to comment
scotty77 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 You can't help how you feel sometimes bro, in 2 years, she is the only girl that other then my ex, that has caught my eye. I see her and i get this feeling i can't describe.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I think you could develop that ''feeling'' with someone else pretty quick.I felt that way about a girl for awhile but it turns out she was just into playing games so I kind of regret getting stuck on her for so long when I should have been pursuing other women.Your ''feelings '' aren't always accurate.Why not do as I suggest,be direct,state your feelings towards her in an email perhaps and just tell her you won't be around the computer for awhile and give her your phone number.Heck,she wouldn't be the first girl to change her mind.Good luck. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 sounds like a good plan doesn't it. would you want someone doing this to your gf? i think not. tis best to wait it out. Link to comment
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