bigthings46 Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 so I got a couple threads running around bout this girl Ive been seeing for like 2 months. Anyways we had a rough patch last week because of her psycho ex who she broke up with in july stalking her still and screwing her head up. Anyways monday I spent the night with her, tuesday she sends me a sweet text saying how she was happy I stayed and she missed me holding her and stuff. Then she calls my phone all day and tells me that shes going out with her girlfriends tonight for drinks and I just said that was cool and blah blah blah. Anyways I tried calling her when I got out of school but never heard back from her till yesterday. She calls me crying saying she was sick and couldnt get out of bed and sounded like she was dying so I told her I would be up in a half hour(drove thirty miles) to help her out and drive her to the doc if she wanted to go. So I go up there with some juice and chicken soup cuz she said she hadn't eaten anything thinking it would be a sweet thing to do. So I get up there and she is already eating chicken soup on the couch. That stunk. Anyways I just checked her temp and tried to make her feel a lil bit better cuz she was crying. Anyways later on I go out grab her something to eat and some ice cream cuz she had a sore throat and went back to her house. She asked me to spend the night and I said sure. She ends up passing out on the couch and I set her alarm on her phone so I can wake up and go to work the next morn. So around 2am I am woke up by her phone going off due to a phone call from her ex bf the psycho junkbox who cheated on her repeatedly. I didn't answer, then 2 minutes later a text message. I don't know why but I looked at the message and next thing I know I see some other messages in her mailbox. I shouldn't have looked but I wanted to see what this dude was writing cuz she was really hurt by this dude. Anyways tuesday night she sent him a text message from the bar saying she missed him and wanted to see him. I guess he never came to see her. Then I find a few other texts from that night from some other dude who was going to meet her @ the bar but wanted to meet up when they could spend more time together ; ). I couldn't believe this, after she was telling me earlier that day how she was happy to spend time with me and that she missed me. And after I took care of her all night. So now I am aggravated and go outside to smoke a cig when I see this dude walking down her street and freeze up in the middle of the street when he sees me. He stood there for like 3 minutes and I knew it was the ex. I am a small dude and don't wanna get caught up in this freaking drama so I went back upstairs. Anyways the girl im seeing gets up a lil after I came in and I told her the psycho stalker was outside and she didn't believe me. I then told her how he had called and she wanted to see her phone. After she listens to the message she tells me that hes crazy and has been really good @ leaving her alone. HA ya . I didn't bother confronting her cuz I didn't know what to say. She went back to sleep on the couch and I just layed in her bed. I shoulda got out of there but I needed to get some sleep so I left early this morn without saying anything cuz she was sleeping. I feel really aggravated about this. She just told me how she wanted me in her life and wanted to work towards something real and then shes calling her ex who ruined her life and telling him how she misses him ontop of someother dude. All while I am there trying to be a nice guy and show her I care about her. Obviously she doesn't care very much about me. I havent heard from her all day. Not even a thanks in a text or nothing for being there for her. I have thought about calling and seeing how she feels cuz I care but why should I. I feel really betrayed right now. Should I call? check on her and then run or what. Link to comment
DN Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Sorry but I would simply walk away from her. She is obviously not over her ex and is not committed to you in any meaningful sense. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 Dude! Is it not obvious? She not only doesn't care about you, she doesn't respect you either. Plus she is a liar and a cheat. Now you have to wonder about all that BS she told you abotu her "bad ex" and how much of it was true or her just being a manipulating liar. If you have any ounce of self respect man you'd dump this broad for good right away. You deserve better bro. Link to comment
schizo Posted March 1, 2007 Share Posted March 1, 2007 First off, I want to say this....you are a GOOD boyfriend and you deserve a girl who will appreciate that! I don't blame you for feeling bad. You did all those sweet things for her when she needed it, and she's been obviously doing some things behind you back. I don't know how the guilt hasn't made her confess to you yet...I agree with everyone else so far. Get away from this girl!!! And I personally wouldn't care if she feels any better. The need to be nice over. Link to comment
jessijess Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 Stay away! you seem like too nice of a guy to let a girl like her walk all over you. if that's how she treats the good guys, then she deserves her ex Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 I know what I gotta do, it just really sucks. Things were so different a couple weeks ago and then all of a sudden its all gone. I don't get it. I stopped being nice along time ago so I wouldn't get hurt but that didn't work for me so I decided I would try being nice and now that aint working for me. I swear I just need to give up with trying to have somebody all together. Link to comment
NyGentleman Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I guess Im not alone with all this ex crap...Why is it these girls become so hooked on guys who treat them like ...... What am i missing... I feel for ya man, im going through it right now although in my situation i actually was there for her through the breakup, stuck by her side, dated her briefly than got the shaft from her saying she wasnt over the past ...it sucks royally.... Get outta there and find a chic who respects you, and wants to be honest with you .... Check out my post in relationships "Why am i analyzing this still, hurt over recent breakup" to see my situation in detail.... We are all here for ya...Dont get sucked back in...do the NC for awhile that will get her thinking for sure how she screwed up... Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I know what I gotta do, it just really sucks. Things were so different a couple weeks ago and then all of a sudden its all gone. I don't get it. I stopped being nice along time ago so I wouldn't get hurt but that didn't work for me so I decided I would try being nice and now that aint working for me. I swear I just need to give up with trying to have somebody all together. Things were different because you didn't know how she was. Bottom line. Things weren't really different, you were just in a state of blissful ignorance. That's not an insult, just saying you were having a good time believing you had a great girl when in reality you didn't. Dump her and find a girl more worthy. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 She called late last night while I was sleeping saying she was calling cuz she didn't hear from me and then she called earlier but I have had my phone off. I really want to confront this girl. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 She called late last night while I was sleeping saying she was calling cuz she didn't hear from me and then she called earlier but I have had my phone off. I really want to confront this girl. Don't confront. When you talk to her next just say, "Hey, it was fun while it lasted but we need to go our separate ways. When I'm with a girl I don't mess around or hang out with other girls, much less ex's. I expect the same treatment. You obviously don't feel the same way about your relationships so I think it's best to move on." Don't listen to her excuses or lies. You caught her red handed. She will come up with tons of excuses, etc. Ignore her. Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 another thing is that we aren't officially in a relationship. We basically said we were going to see each other and take things slow cuz she wasn't ready for something full blown so its almost like I have no reason to be upset but at the same time I feel like I do. Just because I have been dating her for 2 months and feel like its wrong. I just feel like a punk walking away and not saying anything and sticking up for myself. Link to comment
jessijess Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 I know what I gotta do, it just really sucks. Things were so different a couple weeks ago and then all of a sudden its all gone. I don't get it. I stopped being nice along time ago so I wouldn't get hurt but that didn't work for me so I decided I would try being nice and now that aint working for me. I swear I just need to give up with trying to have somebody all together. whatever you do, just be yourself. you started off being nice & i promise there's a girl out there who will fall head over heels with you for it Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted March 2, 2007 Author Share Posted March 2, 2007 well she has called and left two messages today. The last one saying that she had an 8 o clock doctors appt tonight and she probably wasn't going to be able to do anything tonight cuz shes leaving early in the morn for the guard. Shes interested but Im lost. I guess she planned on doing something with me tonight or something. I have also known she was not over her ex, I just didn't know she was still reaching out to him. Thats the messed up thing. When we talked bout things the other day she said how she wanted me in her life but wants to have fun with me and see what happens. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 2, 2007 Share Posted March 2, 2007 8 oclock doctor's appt? weird. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 8 oclock doctor's appt? weird. I was thinking the same thing. Link to comment
finewhine Posted March 3, 2007 Share Posted March 3, 2007 Not to bet on the OP's problem (and, OP, you sound like you're doing the right thing) but I'll bet $5 and say that she meets up with the ex during her "doctor's appointment" and tells the OP that she's getting back together with him over voicemail, because the OP won't have picked up the phone. Or not. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 5, 2007 Share Posted March 5, 2007 you know what? i can't make it. i'm getting my haircut at midnight. sorry Link to comment
bigthings46 Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 A lil more info for the choir. I spoke to her the night she was going to the doctor, she had an appt at a community care place that is open till 9pm. Anyways we talked and for the next week I tried to make plans to see her but she said she didn't feel like going out cuz she was sick so I said fair enough. Didn't call for 2 days. Call her last Sunday to see if she wanted to do something and she said she was busy so I basically called her out and asked * * * was going on with her, basically saying that I had been trying to make plans to see her and how I found it hard to believe that she couldn't make any time for me. Especially after calling me trying to say that I don't care about her and blah blah blah. So I asked what her deal was cuz she was calling me everyday a couple times a day and that if she didn't want to be serious with me than that crap had to end. She told me that she isn't up for a serious relationship once again, that she has trust issues, she feels like we moved too fast and how she was upset about how we slept together and that she has only slept with 2 guys in her life both of them being LTR's. I told her how I wasn't trying to rush her into a relationship and marry her tomorrow but she kinda made it look like I was in the wrong for wanting to be exclusive and wanting something more from her. She stated that she wants a companion and still wants to do things with me. Well I kinda just said fair enough and got off the phone. She emailed me saying that she hoped I wasn't upset but that she doesn't want either of us to get hurt. Lil too late for that. I wrote back saying that I had no intention of trying to hurt her or rush her into anything. And that I know she has too much crap on her mind and that the timing is just off and that she knows what I have to offer and that maybe once she gets her mind right things will be different. She wrote back saying she hoped we would talk soon and get to see eachother. Well that was last Monday. I haven't spoken with her since. I know she isn't going to call me since she kinda called me out about not calling her and her always calling me. Anyways I don't know if I should call her or just continue to let her have space and hopefully she will miss me. Ideas? Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Do what you want, you already are. People already gave you advice and you ignored it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 hmmm, i think this girl is uninterested. i'd of been gone long ago. Link to comment
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