Masu16 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 What signs do people show that they want to come back after breaking up? Im not getting my hopes up but there maybe some thing im missing. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 To me, anything short of "I've made a mistake and I want you back", is just subjective and too easy to misinterpret. Our hearts and minds can turn any little insignificant thing into way more than it is simply by virtue of being heartbroken and desperate to get that person back. Have you gone through a breakup? Link to comment
disgruntledbaker Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 i'm gonna guess the answer to that question is "yes, i've gone through a breakup within the last week." Link to comment
sddeaston Posted February 27, 2007 Share Posted February 27, 2007 If they tell you "I want you back". Link to comment
devast Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 I've just been into a break-up as well... All the times i have been reading other break-up stories here in ENA... I would like to think and believe that after giving your ex the time and space they need... keeping NC for you to move on...and then your ex finally realised that she can't be without you...and maybe think "i'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else'... She will contact you... And you will feel the vibe even if she don't say a word... I'd like to believe this because this is just so "true"... But man... in all honesty... something "within" me keeps saying "keep the faith and she'll come back"...just like you are now... But Maybe not she's not coming back... But Just hang in here pal... one day we will all be "moving on"... Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 And then sometimes the say "I've made a huge mistake and I want you in my life forever." and then they change their mind the next day. Ex's can be awesome!!! Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 All this sounds nuts. Do they want to you back or don't they? My boss; when I was going through hell when my ex left, suggested something to me. He said, "You need to take a week off, not think about her and go to Vegas for a massive bender." He said it with such a deadpan expression I was actually considering it. Let's try not to understand the ex and what they are thinking, let's all get together and go on that massive bender in Vegas. Like they say, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Who's in? Link to comment
splashdown Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 So in...! Honestly, I couldn't really care less what my ex- is thinking. I wouldn't take her back now if she fell on her knees and begged. Cheating will do that to you. Still a truly MASSIVE bender sounds just about like what the doctor ordered...(in my case, about four beers since I don't drink much Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 I agree that we need to stop thinking about what our exe's are up to/thinking about and just get on with our own lives!! But if our ex were to wish for reconciliation they would show it through their actions not their words. Please remember this -> words are pretty vacuous in times like these. "I miss you" "I can't live without you" "You're everything to me" etc. One minute they're saying that, two days later it's "I can't do this anymore". Only time and space apart can show whether your ex is going to really want to give things another go. But during that time you're going to grow and develop yourself too, so perhaps you'll look back and see that you deserve better or not. If your ex wants you, they'll make it very clear until they are almost stalking you. If they half-heartedly hang out with you, you know where the door is! Link to comment
shadow34 Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Hey Mavis Your words ring so true !!! I cant count the number of times I heard over and over I want you blah blah ( and blah is what I ended up hearing as my interpretation ) and the sorry's that came with it, meant absolutely nothing, empty words. I dont think there is really any signs that the ex wants you back...I think I would believe it if they came to me after a considerable amount of time. I think if you get back together too quick what have you both really learned. They would have to show me sincerely that they wanted the relationship to work by actions. And...it is also a two way street. communication would have to be paramount.... LOL i know the signs that they arent coming back Link to comment
Masu16 Posted February 28, 2007 Author Share Posted February 28, 2007 Me and my ex broke up a few months ago, i did NC for like a month then i recently cleared things up with her and now were good friends. It's just that unless she says she wants me back i wont assume anything. I was just wondering if there were signs that people show that maybe they want you to come up to them and ask them about getting back together. Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 I was just wondering if there were signs that people show that maybe they want you to come up to them and ask them about getting back together. If only it were that easy The only sign that is worth anything is that person saying exactly what you want to hear. Link to comment
Stambler Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 When a person leaves their partner, they have usually made a decision based on a long, long period of careful thought. They have left because that is what they have decided to do. If they realize they have made a mistake and want to come back (very rare case) they will do it all on their own, just as they left. It's that simple. In the movies we always see the dumpee reciting that magical line that instantly wins back the dumper! Think of how silly that really is! Link to comment
houdini Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 But what if you have a narcasisstic ex girlfriend that expects you to do everything for them and they do nothing???? Does that mean you go against their wishes of "Wanting to be alone right now" and make effort to get back together with them or does this not matter and as you all have said "If they want you back there will be nothing that will stop them" if this is true and with this type of prideful,stubborn,hard headed woman as my ex...what is a man to do in my situation!!!!.. Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 it's simple, "i've made a mistake, and i would like to fix what went wrong between us, and be with you again.." something like that. Link to comment
DivaAlec Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 A lot of you on here are saying that actions speak louder than words. Like if they say they want you back but a day later they change their mind, but what if it opposite? What if they are saying they don't want a relationship but they are showing you through physical signs that they still feel a connection with you? Then what do you think? Link to comment
Me and myself Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 What if they are saying they don't want a relationship but they are showing you through physical signs that they still feel a connection with you? Then what do you think? That would make me feel confused and suspicious about her, which is not a good thing. If I were in that position, probably I would stop being around her and stop giving myself any possibility of getting involved in situations that might me make thinking and interpret what's going on. If she wants to get back, she must make it clear. Link to comment
papalazarou Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 That would make me feel confused and suspicious about her, which is not a good thing. If I were in that position, probably I would stop being around her and stop giving myself any possibility of getting involved in situations that might me make thinking and interpret what's going on. If she wants to get back, she must make it clear. A very good answer to the question my friend. Couldnt have put it better myself. Trouble is exes sometimes feel comfortable around you and give off signals that could be misinterpreted. They think you are just "friends" you think "hang on I have a chance here". Link to comment
Mavis VDSande Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Then you have to make it clear through your actions that you do not want to be "just friends" and that you've got better things to do than hang around on an old patch of grass! I do sometimes think that over time if your ex is persistently trying to be with you and their actions start to be consistent then it would be ok to try again. But as someone mentioned earlier, don't say yes at the drop of a hat because the next thing you know, they'll be cold and distant again. Remember they need to prove to you that they are worth giving it a go, as much as you have to prove to them that you understand why you guys broke up in the first place. 1 Link to comment
papalazarou Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 Then you have to make it clear through your actions that you do not want to be "just friends" and that you've got better things to do than hang around on an old patch of grass! I do sometimes think that over time if your ex is persistently trying to be with you and their actions start to be consistent then it would be ok to try again. But as someone mentioned earlier, don't say yes at the drop of a hat because the next thing you know, they'll be cold and distant again. Remember they need to prove to you that they are worth giving it a go, as much as you have to prove to them that you understand why you guys broke up in the first place. Absolutely. If my ex was to try and be with me - I would say that I am taking this as a sign that you want to reconcile because I dont want to be just friends. If they said anything other than "ok" then I would say thanks but dont contact me until you do...relationship or nothing. I got enough friends thank you. And none that have ripped my heart out and stamped all over it. Link to comment
Pisces_Princess Posted February 28, 2007 Share Posted February 28, 2007 I agree PapaL... Another component is that I trust my friends with my inner most thoughts and feelings. Can the same be said for my ex? I think not x Link to comment
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