Shouldn't I be worried as hell?

[desperately worried]

Hi. Another problem has stuck its ugly head out in my life. Things between my (ex)girlfriend and I have been seeming to be getting better. I think she is getting over the pain I caused her by lying. We still love each other, and I believe she wants to get back with me as long as I change. I'm going to change, but there is another problem.

 

She is planning to hang out with the guy that who she is "just friends" with. This is the same guy I have mentioned before and before again. She said they will not see each other naked, but it's hard to believe that. Just the other day she said she masturbated thinking of him and moaned that she loved him while during it, which could be a lie to hurt me. I hurt her very much, so she is hurting me back.

 

The problem is that since I lied to her about looking at porn, she thinks I cheated on her by doing so. Since she is now technically single, she can easily go have sex with anyone else and it wouldn't be cheating. However, she has a feeling that by hanging out with him she is cheating on me, even though we are not together, and she feels sad when she thinks about hanging out with him. Sadly, she said she wants to shake the feeling since it is just hanging out.

 

The guy she is planning to hang out with is not.. stable. He thinks they are dating ever since we broke up two weeks ago. She has told him that they are not dating, and that they will never date. However, this will not stop him from caring. I believe he WILL make some sort of move on her, such as trying to make out with her or take her clothes off which he HAS tried to do when they have hung out.

 

I have told her that he is not to be trusted and he will try to do something. It is nearly certain; I can feel it in my bones. When I asked her what she thinks they will do, she said she does not know. I know she wants to get back at me for lying to her, and doing something with him would most certainly get back at me. What confuses me is that she loves me, and she would do something with another guy to hurt me very badly. I know I am right that if she hangs out with him he will try something. He has it in his head that they are in love and are dating, and he will try to make a move on her. There is a chance she will give in to him and do something with him. If she loved me, she wouldn't do it. But she wants to hurt me, and this would work. It's hard to think of them hanging out and him not trying anything.

 

If they end up doing anything, I do not know if I will be able to face her. I love her more than anything, and to think of her kissing this guy that i most certainly hate makes me sick. She probably feels the same way about me right now since I had been looking at porn. I just want to know if I should seriously be worried otherwise. Even if she just ends up kissing him, I don't think I can look at her or kiss her again knowing where that mouth has been. If she goes through with it and succeeds, I will be devastated. She doesn't want to hurt me, but she does. It's so confusing. We love each other, why would she want to go through with this? Is looking at porn and lying about it really worse than making out with a guy in the flesh? I would never kiss anyone that is not her; it was just looking at stupid pictures. Man...

 

Is it right to be worried that something will happen?

[suresuresure]

Just the other day she said she masturbated thinking of him and moaned that she loved him while during it, which could be a lie to hurt me. I hurt her very much, so she is hurting me back.

 

The fact of the matter is, I didn't need to read the rest of your post (just had to see enough to find out what you lied about). The moment she did/said this you should have moved on. I understand she's angry at you for lying, but for her to do something this hurtful, this disrespectful... the punishment does not fit the crime. You (so far as I know) are not friends with these porn girls, you are not telling her that you moan your female friend's names while masturbating. She is clearly unstable, needs therapy, and I'd run away before she draws you in any further.

[desperately worried]

I don't want to make it seem like she is a horrible person. She is far from horrible. I told her that I looked at porn and sometimes thought about having sex with them, but I said I would never ever cheat on her since I am not that type of person. She is never going to believe anything I say since she thinks I will lie to cover everything since I don't want to hurt her. She thinks since I've been looking at porn and thinking about having sex with other people for so long that if she did anything with just one person just one time that it is not even as bad as me thinking about all those other ladies. I would never cheat on her, and I do not want to be with anyone but her. I have given up pornography now, but the damage has been done.

[valenski]

You say she loves you but rather than forgiving you, she wants to get even? Think about that, I dont think she is eager to get back with you. There is a saying "if you love her, let her go" so let her go. Her actions seem contridicting.

[TheFoglifter]

Dude, you didn't do ANYTHING warranting the type of punishment she thinks she can dish out. Most likely you were looking at porn because she wasn't taking care of business. She should be THANKFUL you stopped at porn and didn't just toss her right there. The only thing you did wrong was lying about it, which was stupid, yes -- you should have just been up front and said something like "I wouldn't need porn if you did your job". Men can look at porn and never be unfaithful, and the sooner women get that the better. Obviously she has nothing better in her life but to pick fights over stupid things.

 

To hell with her dude -- let her dig her own grave. Let her go hang out with this guy, and then get totally taken advantage of, then come crying back, at which point you can tell her that you hope she is happy because she is untouchable now. Its going to happen -- she thinks she's being all bold and hardcore, but she'll end up with nothing. Make her feel like the trash she is.

 

You deserve better, she does not.

[ghost69]

porn? cheating. pffft. omg, this chick needs to grow up. you need to get rid of her. i read like the 3rd line of your post and was like NEXT. i would have bagged this girl long ago under these circumstances.

 

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