desperately worried

I don't want to make it seem like she is a horrible person. She is far from horrible. I told her that I looked at porn and sometimes thought about having sex with them, but I said I would never ever cheat on her since I am not that type of person. She is never going to believe anything I say since she thinks I will lie to cover everything since I don't want to hurt her. She thinks since I've been looking at porn and thinking about having sex with other people for so long that if she did anything with just one person just one time that it is not even as bad as me thinking about all those other ladies. I would never cheat on her, and I do not want to be with anyone but her. I have given up pornography now, but the damage has been done.

Hi. Another problem has stuck its ugly head out in my life. Things between my (ex)girlfriend and I have been seeming to be getting better. I think she is getting over the pain I caused her by lying. We still love each other, and I believe she wants to get back with me as long as I change. I'm going to change, but there is another problem. She is planning to hang out with the guy that who she is "just friends" with. This is the same guy I have mentioned before and before again. She said they will not see each other naked, but it's hard to believe that. Just the other day she said she masturbated thinking of him and moaned that she loved him while during it, which could be a lie to hurt me. I hurt her very much, so she is hurting me back. The problem is that since I lied to her about looking at porn, she thinks I cheated on her by doing so. Since she is now technically single, she can easily go have sex with anyone else and it wouldn't be cheating. However, she has a feeling that by hanging out with him she is cheating on me, even though we are not together, and she feels sad when she thinks about hanging out with him. Sadly, she said she wants to shake the feeling since it is just hanging out. The guy she is planning to hang out with is not.. stable. He thinks they are dating ever since we broke up two weeks ago. She has told him that they are not dating, and that they will never date. However, this will not stop him from caring. I believe he WILL make some sort of move on her, such as trying to make out with her or take her clothes off which he HAS tried to do when they have hung out. I have told her that he is not to be trusted and he will try to do something. It is nearly certain; I can feel it in my bones. When I asked her what she thinks they will do, she said she does not know. I know she wants to get back at me for lying to her, and doing something with him would most certainly get back at me. What confuses me is that she loves me, and she would do something with another guy to hurt me very badly. I know I am right that if she hangs out with him he will try something. He has it in his head that they are in love and are dating, and he will try to make a move on her. There is a chance she will give in to him and do something with him. If she loved me, she wouldn't do it. But she wants to hurt me, and this would work. It's hard to think of them hanging out and him not trying anything. If they end up doing anything, I do not know if I will be able to face her. I love her more than anything, and to think of her kissing this guy that i most certainly hate makes me sick. She probably feels the same way about me right now since I had been looking at porn. I just want to know if I should seriously be worried otherwise. Even if she just ends up kissing him, I don't think I can look at her or kiss her again knowing where that mouth has been. If she goes through with it and succeeds, I will be devastated. She doesn't want to hurt me, but she does. It's so confusing. We love each other, why would she want to go through with this? Is looking at porn and lying about it really worse than making out with a guy in the flesh? I would never kiss anyone that is not her; it was just looking at stupid pictures. Man... Is it right to be worried that something will happen?

Thanks. She seems a little better right now. She told me she loves me, but she has to feel ready to say it again. I'm going to go to a shrink, and I'm installing anti-pornography programs as we speak. I want to show her that I'm going to stop. I hope it works out. Edit: I did like porn before I talked to her. I liked it long before I talked to her.

This is basically a continued story from my other thread I made in the Relationship Conflict forum, please look at that too. I can't link to it. Yesterday I told my girlfriend the truth. I told her that I sometimes thought about having sex with other girls. I told her that I have been lying to her about looking at pornography. I would tell her that porn is horrible, and I would never look at it, but the whole time I was looking at it. I swore on our relationship months ago that I would never look at porn again. I said that before I quit World of Warcraft. She believed me, and never thought I looked at porn. It lasted for a while. I didn't look at porn for like two months. Then one day, I just caved in. I started looking at it again. I started pleasuring myself looking at it, and for months I let on a charade that I was not looking at it and that I only thought about her. Now she is depressed. She doesn't love me anymore. She hates me. She just canceled our plans to go to a basketball game in March that we were both looking forward to go to because she didn't want me to ruin it for her. She keeps telling me she is not enough, and she will never believe me again. I am completely devastated. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know why I looked at porn and lied to her about it. She says I never loved her since I would look at porn and lie to her about it. I am afraid we will never be happy together again. I will do anything for her to get her back which begs the question why I looked at porn in the first place. If I loved her so much, why would I look at porn and lie about it? I swore on our relationship that I wouldn't look at porn, but I kept it from her. I tell her I won't look at porn again because I want her back. She tells me I should never have looked at it in the first place if I really wanted to be with her. She said I made my choice, and it was porn. The thing is, I don't want to look at porn. I never did, but I could not control myself. She's told me that it's like I cheated on her. She thinks I would cheat on her if a hot girl would start taking her clothes off in front of me. I told her that is not true; I would never be a cheater. She won't believe me. She says I've already lied about looking at porn, so I would lie about cheating on her. I'm going to try to go to a psychiatrist to see if I can change. But what's the point in changing? She is severely heart broken. I told her all these wonderful things about her, and she believed me, but they were all lies. Now that she knows, she doesn't want to be with me again. She doesn't care about me at all. She doesn't care if I live or die. I don't care if I live or die. And that is all that matters. She has taken the offensive as well. The guy that was mention in the thread I created earlier is now her "husband." She tells me she thinks about him while masturbating, and she tells me that she would * * * * him. She told him she loved him last night, and showed me that. All of the comments we left each other on Facebook and MySpace are gone. I loved them so much. They were precious to me. Now they are gone forever. All the words of love I put on her Facebook and MySpace now seem meaningless. I am not even her top friend on MySpace anymore. I hate this. She left me so many cute .gifs on MySpace that said "I Love You" or "Happy Valentine's Day" and they made me feel so special, but now they are all gone. All of the comments saying "I Love You" are gone. It's hard to think that only 24 hours ago this minute she called me after she got out of the shower so she could tell me she loved me. I was never so happy, and she was never so happy either. Last night, she made me come clean about everything. All of her feelings changed. She did all of that stuff last night. She hates me. She hardly wants to talk to me. She doesn't want to be with me anymore. I can't handle it. I really don't know why I looked at porn. I knew that it would break her heart, and I would tell myself never to tell her. It would be a normal day. I come home from school, and I just lounge around. Then all of a sudden I get this idea in my head that I want to look at porn. It is too hard for me to fight. I tell myself it's bad and I don't want to look at it, but my body just takes over and I give in. Afterwards I tell myself I hate myself and she is going to find out. I made myself promise multiple times never to do it again, but I ended up doing it the next day. I am so depressed. She is more depressed than I am. I am depressed because I feel like I love her more than anything and I want her but can't have her. She is depressed because she knows I wanted to look at porn and not think about her. She has told me that she is not enough for me. She cried to me on the phone today. A while ago, a number of times we would talk about sex positions. She told me then that she didn't want to try a lot of positions because she didn't want me to get bored. She didn't want me to get bored because she didn't want me to get bored that I would look at porn. Well, now she realizes she was stupid for thinking that since I was looking at porn anyways. She can't think about us having sex anymore. Whenever she masturbates she thinks about me having sex with a random girl, or me looking at porn. She thinks about other people, and moans she loves them when she orgasms. This is just devastating me. I want her back. I told her I will not look at porn again, but she does not believe me. She says I can look at porn and have sex with all the girls I want. I don't want that though. I want her. It's hard for me to type all of this up. There are a lot of other things I have probably left out that I will add later. I just don't see any reason to live. She was all I lived for. I only wanted to live because I was praying that I would be able to spend my life with her. Now she might be out of my life altogether, and I will never feel the same way again. I feel empty inside. She was the only one that gave me the passion to live. I don't want to live right now since she will never be in my life again. I'm bawling my eyes out typing this very post. My family would miss me, but that doesn't mean enough to me. The only thing that means anything to me is her. If she never loves me again, I want to just go die. I don't want to live without her. I think about all the things we had and how I destroyed them. I think about all the lies I made her believe. I can't cope with it. I can't cope with the fact that it may be over. I love her too much. Why did I lie to her? I don't know. Why did I look at porn? I don't know. My entire life came crashing down. Everything is pointless to me. School, family, everything. She is my only real friend. She is the only one I have loved. I do not love any of the girls I have thought about. I do not desire to be with any other girl. I just want my sweet Arielle back. How can I deal with these feelings? I feel stupid and useless. I have caused her so much pain and torment. I deserve to be like this. I deserve to be shut out of her life. I deserve the fact that she doesn't want to be with me ever again since she doesn't want me to hurt her with more lies. That doesn't change the fact that I want to die, however. I think about just the other day, Tuesday, when I last saw her. I told her I loved her, and she told me that she loved me. I have all these wonderful and happy feelings about her. I am so distraught. I have a box full of things that remind me of her. I have a note from her that she wrote a month ago saying how much she loves me. I have all these things that remind me of her. They will make me cry every time I see them. I have baby pictures of her. I have little gifts she gave me. Thinking about all these things sends me into a compulsive bawling session. I want it all back. I want it all back. I want it all back. I can't be happy without her. I will look at her Facebook and see her married to that guy. I will look at her MySpace and see the empty space where my comments used to be. I will look at her MySpace and see the empty space where our little adopted alien was. All of these memories make me so sad. I hate this feeling. I don't want to live like this. I can't stop thinking about her. She will not believe anything that comes out of my mouth anymore. It's over. I can't deal with it. If my relationship with her is completely gone, I have no passion to live. I don't want to breath. I don't want to cry. I'm always going to cry. I am always going to love her. I am always going to look at my possessions that remind me of her. For heaven's sake. I have candy boxes from Valentine's. Just thinking of the love of those candies, and the day that we spend together, can have me crying all day. I hate myself. I want to die! I don't deserve to live after doing all of this. I hate this life. I want it all to stop. I want to be with her again. If I can never be with her again, then I don't want to be alive. I hope she loves me. She told me a part of her wants to forgive me and take me back, but she says she doesn't want that now. She says it could happen in the future, but all this torment right now doesn't make me want to continue feeling this depressed. I can only imagine how she is feeling. She loved me more than anything. She wanted to marry me. And I LIED TO HER. HOW COULD I DO THAT TO HER? I am so selfish. I only care about my feelings. I love her so much though. I feel so lonely without her. I don't want to think about never doing anything with her again. I have never been so happy in my life. I keep typing and typing because there is so much on my mind. I don't want to die because there is a chance I could still be with her someday, but I want to die because there is a chance I will never be with her. My life just feels empty and pointless. Her life is numb. Why do I keep thinking about myself? She is going through much worse than I. She has cried more than I. She has cut herself because of me. She has been through so much worse, and she manages to live and get over it Why am I so weak? Why am I so worthless? Why can't I be as strong as her? Why am I such a wimp that I cave into everything? I hate myself for everything I am. I just hate myself more than anything. I'm sitting in my dark room just bawling my eyes out. I don't want to eat. I don't want to sleep. I just want her to be happy. I don't know if all this torment is worth living for. She means everything to me, but I still hurt her. I feel so bad about it. I don't know how to help her feel better, or how to win her back. She said if I got help to lower my sex drive, and stop looking at porn, she might take me back. She still won't believe anything I say though. Everyone thinks I am a liar now. And I am a liar. I'm a horrible liar. All I know is that I love her more than life itself, so if I can't be with her than I should have no life. I am constantly reminded about her moaning that she loves her "husband." It's a weird coincidence that his name is MY MIDDLE NAME. Yes. His name is James. My middle name is James. I'm never going to forget that she has said she loved him. It hurts more than anything. I know she is hurting much worse than me. I am just so confused. I don't know what to do. Why should I bother to live?

Sadly, I don't really need to study for classes. You see, he was the only person other than me that goes to another school. Let me take you through the typical day. I go to my first and second hour at one school, then I go outside after second hour to catch the bus. After about 45 minutes on the bus, I arrive at another school on the other side of the city. I have no third or fourth hour at my original school, and Japanese is fourth hour for the school with Japanese. When Japanese is finished, I run outside again and fetch the bus to go back to the other side of town. I get back to my original school near the start of fifth hour. I do not eat lunch or anything. I get to fifth hour, then I go the rest of the day normally. Instead of doing that with my friend, now I have to ride the bus alone. I spend more time on the bus and waiting for the bus rather than the actual class. It gets pretty lonely, especially since I know no one at the other school, and there are random people on the bus. We usually would wait around for Japanese to start since we would arrive there early, and I would enjoy chatting with him about the homework or school or anything at all. Now I sit on my butt just thinking to myself. We would always sit together in class, and I would usually turn around to consult him or partner up for something. Now I just sit in class in my little corner feeling like an outcast. Everyone in my Japanese class is friendly, but there isn't really anyone I want to be friends with in that class. Most of them are underclassmen (I'm a senior, and the class is Japanese 1) and most of them are barely passing the class. In all my classes at my original school there is just no one to talk to. My friend and I had a lot in common and we thought alike. It was a lot of fun chatting with him. I hate waiting alone for the bus and riding the bus alone. I just think about the fun times we would have, and now I have to do everything alone. I have to worry about the schedule conflicts and being late, by myself. We were the dynamic duo. *Sigh* It was much nicer being with another person who was sharing my experience by going to another school when it cames to things like that.

My friend told me that he is probably going to graduate soon. I didn't want it to happen since he is my only friend at my school. We take a class at another school together, Japanese, and so for all of last semester we would ride the bus together, wait for class, go to class, wait for the bus again, and ride back to our other school. One of the reasons I decided I would go to Japanese was because I wouldn't go alone. I hate going there alone, and if he graduates early, I have to spend the next four months riding the bus alone and being in class alone. This saddens me so much because he has been my only friend that I talked to for the past months while at school. In class we used to partner up and do the dialogues together, and we would converse about homework or tests pertaining to the day. We would talk about just classes in general and how things were going on. I'm not gay, so this is not some hidden love thing. I'm just going to miss the friendship. Sure, we sometimes talk online, but if I have to go every day heading to the class alone, sitting in the class alone, not having my usual partner for assignments, and I will just have no one to talk to while I'm at school. School bores me so much, and sometimes I just like to tell someone about it while I'm at school. A lot of the times I have questions about life and stuff, and I want to hear someone's opinion. Now I might just have to be alone every day until I can graduate. I wish I could graduate early, but I can't. All of my classes are pretty dumb. I don't know anyone in my classes, and just by listening, I'm not really interested in talking to anyone else. We both want to learn Japanese and become fluent, and he is going to do it on his own, but now I have to go to class every day. I'm going to miss the chats we have had, the inside jokes about Japanese, my partner, and I'm just going to be longing for another friend, which I will never get. How can I deal with this loneliness? He's been my only friend in school for this year, since my good friend from last year graduated. Waiting for the bus and sitting on the bus is lonely enough, but sitting in Japanese without my buddy there is just going to be a strain on me. Man, I hate this. I like to talk a lot, but I don't talk to anyone besides him, so now I'm going to have a bunch of questions and no one to talk to, and now I'm going to dread going to school since I feel like it's a huge waste of my time, and it is. I'm unchallenged, and I wish I could graduate, but the stupid state requirement is I have to take .5 more credits of History and English, so I am stuck with those classes. Sometimes I can call my girlfriend, but I know she would hate it if I call her all the time. I talked to her on the phone today, and I really loved it. I wish I could do it every day, but I know I can't. I don't want to smother her. I just want someone I chat with. It really sucks I don't like anyone in any of my classes, and all I do is go to class. I'm going to hate these four months if he graduates early. Any advice?

For a while now I have been very afraid to tell her the truth about things. I hate my damn self, but for some reason I just couldn't tell her the truth about things. I used to tell her that she is the only girl I find attractive and she is the most beautiful girl in the world, and I knew I was lying, but I kept telling her that she was the only one I found attractive. I looked in her eyes and told her that. She might have believed me, but last night I came forward and told her that I do find other girls attractive. It makes me feel really bad especially when she only finds me attractive, and that I lied to her for so long about it. I am a compulsive liar, and I don't know how to stop. I am afraid I am going to hurt her feelings, so I keep lying and lying, even though I know if she found out I was lying it would hurt her more. It's still hard for me to tell her the truth. Here is some history. During the summer, I would tell her that I was really into Japanese girls. I have a fetish for them. I was an idiot and never told her how much she meant to me, and I never cared about her during the summer. I still wanted to be with her, however. This is going to get confusing, but during the summer we were together but not together. I was just a horrible person, and she was so in love with me that she would stay up until 5 in the morning waiting for me to call, but then ended up crying herself to sleep since I did not call. She knew I was looking at pornography. The truth is that I was. I did not respect her in the summer. School started up again, and at the beginning of the school year I told her I wasn't going to talk to her for a while. I do not remember why I would have said that, but after a week or so, all of my feelings changed, and I went from not really giving a damn about her, to wanting to be with her and never be without her. The day I came back to her was the last day she was going to give me. If I wouldn't have talked to her, she was never going to talk to me again. I talked to her. My feelings had all changed, but she had lost so many feelings for me. She said we lost a lot of passion. Ever since all of my feelings had changed for her, there had been times I was still lying. I told her I did not want to study Japanese or go to Japan. I did not want to upset her by saying I wanted any of that because I was afraid she would think if I want to do that stuff I will and I will go to Japan and cheat on her. During the summer I told her that I really liked Japanese girls, and so, she thinks I would cheat on her with a Japanese girl. The other lie I mentioned before was finding other girls attractive. I don't know how to explain it, but my eyes wander when I walk down the hall at school or ride the bus, and I do see girls that I think look good. The thought usually lasts for a few seconds, since it happens when I just look at a girl that I think is attractive. I know that I took all of her confidence in herself and demolished it. Now she feels ugly and does not like the way she looks. I wanted to make her feel better, so I would tell her that she is the only girl I found attractive. All I wanted to do was give her confidence back. I truly believe she is the most beautiful girl in the world, but now she won't even let me say that since I had lied to her. I just can't explain why I lie about things. The truth just makes me think she is going to lose more feelings and confidence. The other night she told me she will forgive me for anything I tell her, as long as it's the truth and I don't lie anymore. I have come forward with a few things, but there are still a few skeletons in my closet. I don't know if I should break the news to her. I believe that she will forgive me, but I am afraid she is going to get really upset, and so many feelings will go away. She was starting to feel better about herself, and then we got into a conflict about the fact that I thought one of her friends was pretty. It did not end well, but I realized I do not think her friend is pretty. It was too late though, and things changed after that, and now she thinks I'm lying about that since I have lied about so much already. Anyways, even though most of the feelings from the summer (Side note: During the summer she was really in love with me. She wanted to talk to me all the time, and she wanted to see me all the time. I would ignore her and not talk to her, and I would cancel our plans all the time. Over three months, though, she still endured this. She still wanted to be with me. After that week, however, she was ready to give up.) had dissipated, she told me yesterday that a lot of those feelings had come back. I noticed it too since she would start calling me at random times, and she wanted to hang out more. She was more positive. Now it is like it has stopped. After telling her the truth, she seems really upset. She doesn't want to talk to me as much, and now she hates Valentine's more than ever. We are still going to exchange gifts tomorrow, but I think she doesn't really want to come over. She just wants to stay home and watch romance movies. I love when she is all lovey with me, and that's why I don't want to tell any more truths. Even though I might end up lying about things, I don't want her to stop loving me like she was. We are on a break now, but I know we still love each other, and I hope we will get back together. She won't get back with me until she feels better and I tell her everything. I feel like it might be too late, and she will never act the same way that she did just a few days ago. Time to backtrack a little. There are two lies that I don't know what to do about. During the summer I would look at porn. I loved porn. I couldn't get enough of it. It was like an addiction. Well, after my feelings changed for her, so did my feelings for porn. I didn't like it anymore, at least I thought so. I told her how horrible porn is, and that it is just really bad. She hated the fact that I looked at porn, and it made her feel so bad about herself since she thought I wanted to have sex with the women I would look at. It breaks my heart to stay this, but even though I told her I quit looking at porn, I have been looking at it regularly. I just get urges to look at it. I still like looking at it, and I lie to her about it. I don't want to tell her that I look at it and I want to look at it because last night I told her I don't want to look at porn. If I come out with another lie, she might never want to talk to me again, especially since this is a big secret. I have been deceiving her for so long. I want to tell her that I want to look at porn and that I have been looking at it, but I do not want to hurt her this much. This could be something that she would not forgive me for, even though she said the only thing that she won't forgive is if I cheated on her. Anyways, if I tell her, she will hold it over my head forever, and always comment about porn. I may like porn, but I do not think about the people in it when I look at it. It's just eye candy. I can't explain it. I don't want to be with anyone in the porn, I just want to look at it. She thinks I want to have sex with porn stars. She thinks I fantasize about the girls. That is not true, but she does not believe me. I really do think about her when I'm in the process of doing something, but it does not change anything. She is so skeptical of me. I am so lost. I want to know if I can still be with her. I don't want to take a chance and lose her. She means so much to me, and I want to be with her. I don't want her to leave me which is why I am so confused at what to say. I can tell her the truth, and then she is really hurt and she might never recover. Or I can continue living in lies and risk the chance that if she finds out, it really will be over. I hate lying, but I am so afraid of how she will react. I don't want to be without her!

She talks to him because during the summer she was going through a lot of emotional distress (because I was a complete back then, but I have changed) and he would listen to her. In the summer, however, he did not act like he does now. He was a bearable person to talk to. He never hit on her in the summer. I think it has to do since he was in love with another girl, and over the course of the summer, the girl he was in love with stopped talking to him so he fell for my girlfriend. I have asked her talk not talk to him. I have told her I don't like if she talks to him. I have tried ignoring the fact that she talks to him. Right now I am in the process of just ignoring it. All she does is talk to him online, but I am afraid of that she is going to hang out with him, and the last time they hanged out, he tried to make a move, so I'm not too keen on that idea. I completely agree with you when you talk about a "good friend." He used to be a good friend, but he has drastically changed. I have never thought that she is trying to keep me on my toes. I just think she is trying to knock me down a peg because I am overly protective and wonder what she is doing a lot of the time. Thanks. I'm glad I don't seem like a bad guy when I'm not okay with it. I want her to change, or at least not talk to him, but I don't know how to do that. It seems really controlling when I say that I do not want her to talk to him at all, but I don't know what to do. She can't not talk to him a little bit. He has multiple user names and will randomly message her on AIM. He emails her if she does not respond to him. The other night when she wasn't online, he called her and asked her why she wasn't online. I understand when she says I can't control who she talks to, but I keep telling her that this is something serious since the way he acts. I have a lot of energy to spend. If you need more information, I can go into extreme detail about the summer and how I think I need to redeem myself. I love her with all my heart, and I know she loves me too. Sometimes I just get too smothering, and she retaliates with full force. She pulls a card on me and brings up this guy. We were fighting and she brought him up and it just started more fighting. I was telling her how she said so many times she does not want to talk to him, and she said she changed her mind. She called me a liar when I said yesterday that I did not want to study this certain language, and today I said I do want to study it. I don't respect or admire this choice. I hate this choice. She doesn't tell me that he flirts with me exactly, she tells me what he says, and they are obvious that they are flirting. One time she told me that he said he loved her and wanted to hook up with her that day, and I told her that sounded serious, and she just denied it. She has told me countless times that she does not want to completely shut anyone out of her life since her first love of her life which was perfect until something very unfortunate happened is now cutting her out of his life, and all she wants is for him to accept her apology so she can move on. Since he ignores her, she thinks she hates him. She doesn't want anyone to feel the same way that she does, so it's hard for her to stop talking to anyone. I don't know what to do. I am crazy about her. I do not want to be with anyone else but her. I respect, admire, and love her. While I may not respect some of the decisions she makes, I still love her. I can't stand to imagine her with anyone else, and I can't stand imagining being without her.

Hello. I am a first time poster looking for some outside, unbiased opinions, and hopefully some advice. Sparing most of the details, I am a 17 year old male and I have a complicated relationship with my girlfriend. I love her more than anything, but sometimes we have our conflicts. There is this recurring problem that has always been a thorn in my back, and I was hoping I could get some responses. There is this guy that she has known for a while. He is a couple years older. She talks to him from time to time, but he always tells her how he loves her and he wants to marry her or hook up with her. He knows that she is in a relationship with me. He does this all the time, even though she has always told him no. The thing is, even though she tells him no, he keeps saying those things. It seems like she just lets him say things like that. I know the things he says because she has told me different things he tells her. I tell her how that makes me feel, and I do not feel comfortable with her talking to someone that acts like he does. Multiple times she has told me she will never talk to him again. Just the other day she has told me that she does not want to talk to him. Well, today we had a fight, and she told me she is going to talk to him. They used to be good friends, but he has been really serious. During the summer she would talk to him and he would give her advice and help her feel better, but for the past few months he has been a little more aggressive with his feelings. I am fine with her talking to him, but it is especially disheartening when she has gotten my hopes up saying that she will never talk to him then she decided to change her mind. She was saying she would never talk to him for a few weeks, and I believed her. Again, without sparing all the details, I am just wondering what some of you think about this. I do, indeed, deserve something like this since I have lied to her a few times and came forward. They weren't anything serious though, since I just told her I wanted to learn a certain language. Since I lied to her about wanted to learn a language, she decided she can change her mind about talking to him. It really worries me that she wants to talk to him. Many times they talk and she ends up blocking him or something like that, but she still wants to talk to him and she ends up talking to him. I'm not accusing her of loving him or anything, since I know that she loves me and me only. It just boggles me that he annoys her so much and she knows that it bothers me that she talks to him, but she still wants to talk to him after all of that.