2007 is not starting good. Getting depressed...

[SweetJade]

I don't know I'm trying really hard to be happy and focus on living life but it's sooo hard. It just seemed like for the past 5 months I've had seriously bad luck and it just seems to get worse and worse and I'm seriously spiraling into a deep depression. I still can't get over the way my ex treated me and it's been 3 months. I had deep feelings for him and he made me believe he loved me.He did nothing but verbally abuse me and cheat on me! I however don't have feelings for him anymore but he really just messed my self esteem up by cheating on me. I had became so distraught that I had harassed him by constantly calling his phone(to make him angry) which led him to calling the cops on me. They did nothing but gave me a warning saying that I should not have anymore contact with him which is fine and I respected that. See he was the only one that made me feel special and it was all a lie, he makes me feel like such a fool. It hurts badly to think someone actually loved you when they couldn't give a crap about you. That really perplexes me how someone could be so selfish and leave my heartbroken like this. Now I'm left alone and confused..

 

Another point is I've lost my job a month ago and now I'm desperately trying to find another one and at the same time trying to get into school which will start in the summer for me. So now all I can do is lay around in the house most of the time sulking until a new job come up hopefully. Im also saddened because I lost my bestfriend a week ago over a stupid fight.I found out that she was backstabbing and two faced and I want nothing to do with her anymore. 7 years of friendship down the drain. All of the events have seriously spiraled me into a depression so deep. I have no motivation for anything anymore, I'm so tired of everything and I have no one now. All of the so called friends I got are superficial, they're only my friends because of what they percieve me as. They only call when they need me for something and I'm so much more than that. I can honestly say that I have no friends at all which is sad.

 

Now I'm trying to figure out how everything could go so wrong and now it's like everyone moved on and left me in the dust. I just want things back the way they used to be months ago. I want the boyfriend who was caring, not the one that was the jerk.I want my friends back & my job but life is all about change I suppose and I don't like it at all. I have been having severe headaches and last night was the worse. I was very lonely last night and I started crying uncontrollably to the point that I made myself sick. I hardly got any sleep last night at all. I just laid in bed thinking about the past. Today I'm feeling very weak and it's almost like I'm in a trance state. I think I'm just going to lay in bed again today. I mean I don't get what I'm supposed to do anymore to be happy. I really don't feel like leaving the house and at the same time I don't wanna be here either, I know that sounds crazy.

 

2007.... What a year for me to start off Please if you also don't have anything positive to say, please I don't wanna here it today.. I'm really not in the mood for it.

[Daddy Bear]

I'm sorry that you're so down right now. Nobody deserves to feel as bad as that.

 

I don't see much in your post about luck, though. What I see is someone who needs to develop her positivity, accept responsibility for her life, grab the bull by the horns and make the rest of this year work the way she wants it. You have the power. Go for it!

[Blizzard]

Hello Sweetjade,

 

I saw your post and related to it. I'm at that place now (Hugs)

 

It has to get better, it has to make us stronger. I'm three quarters where you are, and a quarter saying there is something out there.

 

I recall being here in my early 20's thinking there is nothing, but I look back and think, there was good times after this. I'm deeper in issues now, but I/we have to think there will be more good times to come.

 

Good things to come to those who wait.

 

Keep strong

 

Blizzard x

[musicguy]

I'm in the same boat as you are. I feel that 2007 isn't going well for me too, but all we can do is lok toward the future and try to be positive