torn and confused

[cubsfan]

well, i saw him yesterday and we were to pay off the bike we had together. didn't work out but will eventually. i cried alot when i saw him. he was very nice thru it all. he did, however, kiss me twice and i am now so confused. i also noticed that when we were standing there hugging, someone woke up down south (if you know what i mean). he said "Who knows what's going to happen in 2 months 4 months or 6 months, but we both need to heal" the healing part he's right about. As for getting back together, i wish for it, but in my heart and soul I don't see it happening. yesterday set me back emotionally. does that make any sense? also, why did he kiss me 2x? so confused today. also, as much as i enjoyed seeing him. my mind and body kept telling me "get out of there" and i would have but my damn car broke down and he had to fix it. talk about inoppertune times to do that!! I'm thinking "OK, God, what are you doing?" this morning, I don't want to talk to him at all. i also still have a cell phone we shared that he insists on me keeping until the contract is up (contract will be up in july). Part of me wants to keep it until then but a big part of me wants to give it back so there's 1 less tie to him. Are all these conflicting emotions normal or am I losing my grip on reality. any suggestions/comments would be greatly appreciated!!! thank you!!

[Jeffrey2095]

Oh, I think it is very mixed up.

 

Maybe too mixed up.

 

From what you have stated here, I don't think it sounds like a very good arraingment for you.

 

I would get out... including giving him the cell phone.

 

He says in his heart he doesn't see getting back.

 

You don't sound like you want to.

 

Time for NC perhaps.

 

Best wishes.

 

Jeff

[robowarrior]

You have no idea where you are standing in life.

 

You need to replace the chaos in your mind with order and logic.

 

You two should indeed focus on healing. And you need to sort out on what you want in life.

[cubsfan]

robowarrior, you are so right. I know what I want in life but i guess he doesn't. we talked of trying again in several months but does that even work out? he's the kind of person that doesn't like to be alone so i'm sure he'll find someone else in that time. he says he doesn't want anyone else, but who knows what will come about. he's on the internet alot and has signed up on several dating sites so i don't know what to think about that. i know i shouldn't wait for him though. but he still wnats to be intimate and wants to be friends too. i don't think i can handle that because of how i feel about him. any suggestions/comments are greatly appreciated!!