confused_male_32 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 So, I just start seeing someone and I spent an awesome evening with her, she likes me a lot and we kissed. After that we parted ways and went home. I want to know if short term NC, meaning no e-mail of phone for a few days after the date an ok to do? I don't want to appear needy. say she doesn't mail or call me in the next few days, is that a bad thing? I am planning to wait a week before giving her a call Link to comment
hol234 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Why are you planning to wait a week?????? Why play games?? You clearly like this girl+hopefully she likes u. I would send her a casual txt tomorrow saying how much fun u had+that ur looking forward to seeing her again, c how she responds. Link to comment
Hayles Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Oh no you don't... never leave a girl hanging that long!!!! hehe Maybe on the third day, that would be the longest.... Or in the mean time, I would just write a quick, short email or text, just simply saying "I had a great time, I hope you did also", something to let her know you enjoyed yourself. If you wait too long she will think you're not interested! Link to comment
Hayles Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 You won't risk looking needy - just interested, which is what you want, isn't it? Trust me, if she enjoyed herself too, she will be waiting for your next move! Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 If I didnt get a text or somthing the next day I would assume he just didnt really care I wouldnt be ANGRY or anything. Then again, I would probably contact him if I had heaps of fun Link to comment
Hayles Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 I agree with the not getting angry part, but I just don't see the need to let this poor girl sit around wondering whether you're interested... ah, just put it out there!! Link to comment
Weeblie Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 No contact is for when you break up with someone and want to move on. It's intended for a longer period of time. So no, it would not be appropriate to use when you're starting to date someone. If you want to see her again...give her a call! Why this waiting nonsense? If anything give her a day and then call to set up a date later on in the week. You won't seem clingy or desperate. You'll only look desperate if you call her every day. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 the whole waiting-3-days thing is a hang-over from high school... man I hated that crap Link to comment
confused_male_32 Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 she said as we parted that night that she had an awesome time. The thing is that she doesn't say much, French Canadian (just starting to pick up english), so it's hard sometimes to read her. She is also very shy and doesn't initiate contact unless I do. Also, she is just out of a five year relationship and very vulnerable. I don't want to crowd her personal space, which I think she needs right now. I will however take the advice you guys are giving me very seriously. Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Hmm..... 3 or 4 days I think IMHO. Just enough to make her miss you, but not enough to make her think you're slack. Just enough not to crowd her and not enough to give her so much space she feels you are distant. 3 or 4 days? Yes IMHO that's probably roughly right for apres first date contact. Maybe 2 days if you're extra keen but then you could be getting into "crowding" grey area. Link to comment
addictedblue Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 DO NOT WAIT A WEEK. theres nothing worse than going on a date with a guy, thinking it went great and not hearing from him for days and wondering whats up. happened to me. started to analyze everything, did i bore him, guess he doesn't like me, etc. don't do the whole playing games thing right at the beginning. if you like her, go ahead, appear "needy", she'll like it. Link to comment
lessy20 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 A week is too long, she'll probably think you're not that interested. Link to comment
frangipani1 Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 My friends and I swear by the three-day-rule... that is, if you haven't heard from a guy within three days, forget it. He's not that serious. And what kind of contact is all about what you're comfortable with... try something genuine, fun, complimentary, and short... and see how she responds... Anyway, good luck! Link to comment
confused_male_32 Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 Thanks guys! I will txt her tomorrow. Link to comment
Zaphod Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Thanks guys! I will txt her tomorrow. You would have texted her tomorrow whatever we said - cos you're just chomping on the bit to speak to her again...... Am I right? Good on ya. Link to comment
confused_male_32 Posted February 20, 2007 Author Share Posted February 20, 2007 I was actually planning to wait till friday and ask her out on saturday night. But, I think now friday may be too long of a wait Link to comment
Alezia Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 I never had a guy make me wait that long. A week is seriously too much. Though I've had guys ask me for 2 dates in one day, that one is really odd. When I refused he asked for the next day in the afternoon, then at night. That is what clingy is.... I think calling her the next day and telling her you had a good time isn't clingy. Aslong as you call her within 3 days I'd say... Link to comment
Aurian Posted February 20, 2007 Share Posted February 20, 2007 Ugh... make me wait, I'm gonna assume you're not interested or you're playing games. Neither of which makes ME interested. Next! Anyways, don't wait too long to make plans. She might give up on you and make plans with someone else on the weekend! Link to comment
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