What to do next

[reastie]

Hi guys my previous story is on the story,, breakup or not?

 

Well still absolutely nothing and whereas last week feeling more positive, over the weekend and today I feel awful, still expecting her to call and at least let me know the situation in her mind. Reading on here, which is what I seem to do a lot in my spare time, I see that many people are just left without really an explaination.

Last week I saw the positives of my singleness, the negatives of our relationship, over the past few days I can only focus on missing her. People tell me she can't have loved me if she hasn't spoken to me yet, she must either be a great actress or at least convinced herself she did.

I feel I am still clinging on now to thoughts of maybe eventually her coming back, even though I think it isn't for the best. I hung around with female friends a bit over the weekend and all I seemed to do was miss my girlfriend when they weren't the same as her, Make sense???

So my question is do I send the email I have written below and hope that gives me some closure, or carry on not talking but probably hurting and waiting for her to call, I can't fathom that she can just turn so uncaring but again seem to read that a lot in here.

We have certain things like possessions at each others houses which I guess we could ignore but also joint gym membership which she pays into my account and then I pay so there will have to be some contactm also each others flat keys. Pkease advise me the email I haven't sent is below, many thanks .

 

Well , the lack of contact shows me there is a lack of love from you to me. I'm not angry at you for that, it is thereforeeee better that if that is the case we aren't in a relationship so you have done the right thing. I wish we could have been a bit more mature and sit down and have a discussion about it, I feel whatever anyone does after 3 years they deserve that. I didn't cheat on you or hit you and tried to make you happy. On the way back from Gleneagles you informed me that you are going home as soon as possible and that meant we couldn't go out together. By the time we got home you apologised and because you were drunk I forgave you, the fact you can't or don't want to brings me to the conclusion at the top. You needn't fear me trying to convince you to get back with me because you will know what you feel, if you don't want to be with me after 3 years then you never will.

I have been expecting you to call even if I tried to stop myself, I genuinely thought that you'd call to at least inform me that we are completely done, or you're thinking on things etc, So far you have just shouted at me last Sunday morning. Not a way a mature couple end things.

So anyway if I get no reply from you on this I will presume you don't want that sensible conversation or have any hope for us, I wont be contacting you again because the way you are currently ending it, it wont help either of us.

If I don't hear from you, take the best care of yourself and be happy.

[Zaphod]

Seems pretty cool to me! Mature and balanced, yet still managing to get in the dig about her being immature. I think 'tis good.

[Steve316]

All makes sense reastie. I haven't heard much from my ex since she finished with me via e-mail after 4.5 years. 8 days is the longest it's been with no contact at all, but even then it was 1 text message in either direction which hardly counts really! So, I know how you feel - "why doesn't she contact? Doesn't she care anymore? Has she forgotten me?" and all of those things. So far, I have resisted sending a letter / e-mail, even though I said I was definitely going to send a letter in the beginning. As it is, I'm not entirely sure if I'd just be wasting my time so I haven't bothered yet.