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Are Most Gay People Really Molested As A Child?

isisastaria

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isisastaria Community Regular

isisastaria

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I have a close friend who had a gay brother (he died 6 years ago). She has serious anger for his childhood molester who was a man. She thinks her brother wouldn't be gay if he were never molested and thereforeeee would have never been sick and died so young. She and her brother were best friends. She has suffered a serious serious loss and I think she is just upset for now and wants revenge.

 

But is it true that most gays are molested as children? I have been hearing a lot about it and don't quite understand it. I also have gay friends i would like to understand better.

 

Thank you so much for your feedback!

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Mythical_Suicide Experienced

Mythical_Suicide

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Posted
No, thats a pile of dren.

 

-rant-

I cant believe the stupid bs people come up with!!!

like amazingly ignorant people saying that all uncircumcised men will grow up to be homosexuals and/or criminals... (IM NOT KIDDING, PEOPLE ACTUALLY believe THAT!!!)

 

 

ITA ^^, it is proven that ALOT of gay men have been sexually assaulted as young children but that isn't what made them gay. Thats just a study towards gay men, it never shows the percentage of straight people who were molested next to it so thereforeee its an invalid and rather ignorant assumption... Its like me saying to a straight person, "So, you're straight? Wow! You must have been molested as a child".. it makes no sense at all.

As for your friend, I think its a mixture of denial of her brother being born gay and grieving everyone grieves differently.

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Mythical_Suicide Experienced

Mythical_Suicide

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That goes back to being in denial about being gay, its not something that is widely accepted given its more accepted than per-se 20 years ago but still it's considered taboo and a wrong way of life. So your friend probably feels the need to blame every reason in the book on her being the way sheis. I've been raped by a guy before, yes it was hard to let a guy touch me for awhile but I never "turned" gay because of it.

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EvaGina Mentor

EvaGina

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^^^

I have to agree to a point. I have been raped a few times and although sex got odd for a while, I didnt turn gay.

Then again, everyone is different, right?

A friend of mine who is a gay female TOLD me she thinks she's gay because she was molested and can't be with men. So to me...this is just extremely confusing because I'm not gay and I have NO IDEA!!!

 

i suppose that there will always be that kind of thing.

She not so much "gay" as settling for the other option as she cant be with men?

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blue-eyedspacemonkey Apprentice

blue-eyedspacemonkey

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I'm gonna thoerise here....apologies if I offend anyone (I'm gay, btw).

Some gay people feel a lot of guilt about being gay, for whatever reason, and do believe that they are defective and it is their fault that they are gay and that they shouldn't be...I think maybe, maybe, the I was molested thereforeeee not my fault I am gay helps them cope with the guilt?

 

I don't know, having never experienced either molestation or guilt...and I apologise once again if I have offended...

 

And I agree, it's very depressing to see how many people have been raped.

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EvaGina Mentor

EvaGina

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I'm gonna thoerise here....apologies if I offend anyone (I'm gay, btw).

Some gay people feel a lot of guilt about being gay, for whatever reason, and do believe that they are defective and it is their fault that they are gay and that they shouldn't be...I think maybe, maybe, the I was molested thereforeeee not my fault I am gay helps them cope with the guilt?

 

I don't know, having never experienced either molestation or guilt...and I apologise once again if I have offended...

 

And I agree, it's very depressing to see how many people have been raped.

 

I dont think you could offend anyone with that post

It makes sense, and its just a good illistration of how people view homosexuality, that some gay people feel shame about who they are

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Mythical_Suicide Experienced

Mythical_Suicide

Posted
Posted
I'm gonna thoerise here....apologies if I offend anyone (I'm gay, btw).

Some gay people feel a lot of guilt about being gay, for whatever reason, and do believe that they are defective and it is their fault that they are gay and that they shouldn't be...I think maybe, maybe, the I was molested thereforeeee not my fault I am gay helps them cope with the guilt?

 

I don't know, having never experienced either molestation or guilt...and I apologise once again if I have offended...

 

And I agree, it's very depressing to see how many people have been raped.

 

 

your post makes absolute sense..

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justpaisley Proficient

justpaisley

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blue-eyedspacemonkey has a really good point. During stressful times in our lives, we tend to look to blame ourselves or someone else for causing that strife. It gives us an element of control. When my baby was born prematurely with no warning signs, I started thinking about my entire pregnancy and things I ate and drank and did and should I not have laughed so hard at that party... Coming out and being gay aren't easy for most people, so for some who may not be entirely comfortable with their sexuality, they may look to blame themselves or others.

 

One of my closest friends is a lesbian, and when she realized it, she just knew it was wrong, so she looked to her past to find out what caused it. She was molested as well, had a very rocky childhood, etc. After blaming those things for a while, she realized nothing was to blame for her being gay, she just... was. And since she just was, it's thereforeeee just who she is, and thereforeeee not wrong. She came out after her epiphany.

 

Ugly as the fact may be, a lot of people are victims of sexual assault, in varying degrees, in childhood and in adulthood. If the assertion that sexual assault causes homosexuality were true, it seems to me that a lot more people would be gay. Sexual assualt from the opposite sex usually causes some aversion to contact from the opposite sex, but that's not homosexuality. That's post-traumatic stress disorder.

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Parsley Rising Star

Parsley

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I think Piasley80 summed it up amazingly! Also blue-eyedspacemonkey!

 

I know a lot of people who are gay. My ex boyfriend is gay! He wasn't molested. I have a friend who I've known since reception who was never comfortable. For a long time she said she was bi, then that she was a lesbian - now she is living her two years as a man before having a sex change.

 

I agree that being molested as a child is OBVIOUSLY going to affect you later in life. My mu was recently on the jury for a child abuse case and...oh my..the things just absolutely sicken me. There were 3 children, one too young to have any evidence, but two of them were 4 and 6 I think, a girl and boy. Not only were they raped by both their parents, but also forced ti have intercourse with each other. They aren't allowed to see each other anymore now, because their relationship has become sexualised. And they can't be adopted - only fostered. It's sickening to think how 'damaged' those children are so young in their lives. But I doubt that any of their experiences would 'cause' them to become homosexual.

 

There's even a theory about a gay gene? I read an article about it a few years ago, I can't remember the specifics, but it backs up the idea (which I believe) that you are just born one way or another. Boy or Girl, Black or White, Gay or Straight.

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