1st date questions

[longhaircats]

What's the best answer if a guy ask me what I am looking for on the 1st date?

 

I tend to meet people at bars/clubs, so I'm not sure what they are looking for when they ask me out. I don't want to scare him away by saying " I'm looking for a Mr. Right", but at the same time, I don't want to date players, so I would like to know how to screen players out.

 

I am def not looking for a sex partner, but it would be nice to make new friends as well, since I am still new to the city. "I am looking for a boyfriend" Is this too direct? Shall I say "I am open to a long-term relationship if a right guy comes along"? Any other questions I should ask or should not ask on the 1st date?

 

Thanks for your input in advance!

[annie24]

I think being vague is good, maybe saying something like, "I am looking for new friends to enjoy this city with, but i am open to a long-term relationship if the right guy comes along."

 

Me, personally, I don't like asking or being asked very personal questions on the first date. Better to just talk about general things, what movies you like, where you both grew up, college, brothers and sisters, etc....

[DizzyDoris]

i agree with annie, be vague. tell him your not too sure, but you'll sure know what your looking for when you find it! then turn it round and ask HIM what he's looking for haha!

[valenski]

Give him the old "surprise me" answer! It works for dates and movies request but not so well with food (you might get the runs, personal experience a literal hell week!)

[Batya33]

I might say "why do you ask?" What I would say -- "I date with serious intentions in mind but want to have fun while being serious minded about the goal."

 

I never was a fan of dating in order to make new friends. To make new friends, you don't go on a date, you make a plan to do something just like you would with any platonic friend. The "friends first" thing always seemed odd to me in the context of dating - presumably most people are not going to get naked on the first date - or at least, don't intend to - so of course you will get to know each other as friends first - the difference in dating is that while you're getting to know each other as friends the purpose is also to see if there is that romantic spark. If someone said to me "friends first" - I'd say, fine, well, I already have a lot of friends so if you want to just be friends just understand when I tell you I'm busy on a weekend night - when I usually go on dates.