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How do I tell my stepbrother/roommate I'm bi?

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Okay, so. I’m bi. I’m 15, male and last year my mother got married and I had to move in with a stepbrother. And stepsister, but she’s in a different room, duh. Anyway, he’s a year older than me and a jock. Some of his friends/teammates the year before beat up a friend of mine, and I’m a freak at my school so when I had to room with him, so I was more worried about getting along than coming out to him. It’s turned out okay. He’s a human. We get along better than me and my stepfather.


Anyway. I’ve been dating a guy and it’s going well. Eventually, he’s going to find out. We go to the same school and the only reason he desent already know is that this is a friend of mine and all us freaks are gay anyway /sarcasm. I really do thinik I should have told him last year and I do think he deserves to know since we have to live toghter but at the time I was worried about other things. Getting the * * * * kicked out of me for no reason. Now I know him pretty well but I shold have told him a long time ago. I’m not sure how he’s going to take it. But it’s not like I have a choice about rooming with him.


Then there’s my stepfather, but thats another problem. I’m much much less worried about my stepbrother beating me up than my stepfather! He hates my guts anyway. At least my stepbrother and I get along.


Anyway, any idea how I tell him? And how upset will he be? It’s weird but I’m more worried about telling him than my mom! She’ll be fine. Maybe not even surprised. My stepfather... hates me anyway, so no loss. (and the house belongs to her, so I’m pretty sure I’m not going anywhere...) But I really feel guilty about not telling my stepbrother earlier. Like before seeing him naked a few hundred times...

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I am sure he wont really care, he maybe abit weirded out by it at first but thats all maybe. I dont think he would kick the crap outta you. Plus he might already know that you are bi. And just talk to him alone one night or something in the room, and how well there is really only one way and thats just to say it

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mate.. i am sure that he WILL CARE!!! i think you need to get your priorities in line.

The person you tell first is your mother. She is immeidiate family and thus has the right to know before your step-bro. (It would hurt her that you didnt tell her first.) from there you can bring up the subject about telling your step-bro or possiblilty changing to living arrangment. Things that can be do to lesssen the impact on the 'new' family arrangement.


I admire you for deciding to come out, but i feel that there are ways to lessen the impact.


As for your step-brother, dont tell him yet. he may not beat you up but there will be awkwardness between both of you. be ready for it.

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She is immediate family and thus has the right to know before your step-bro. (It would hurt her that you didnt tell her first.)


Sorry but I disagree. I think its your life and nobody 'has the right to know'. You do not have to tell anyone. However given that you have a boyfriend (unless you are very secretive) chances are someone in your family will find out eventually. Probably, but not necessarily your step-brother. I agree your mother will be hurt that you did not tell her first. I think that you should think very strongly about telling her.


However if you really do not feel up to telling her yet then telling your step-brother might be a good idea. Certainly, if he might find out anyway, it gives you the chance to explain why you didn't say anything before and why you don't want him to speak to anyone else about it. Also coming out to him might be a 'trial run' for coming out to your mother. If you can do it once you can do it again.


Just my thoughts


P.S. I'm still not ready to tell my mother so maybe I'm biased.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, this is an update. I've told him. He said he already knew. Appearently my porn stash told him He said he figured it why I didn't tell him was why I didn't tell him or else I wasn't sure. He said thanks for the heads up before too many people find out at school. Appearently he's already taken * * * * for my being his stepbrother, which doesnt' surprise me. And he told me that one of his friends (but not which one) is in the closet, so I'm like the second guys who's come out to him! Appearently he's the desidnated jock to come out to!


We both agreed that my mom wouldn't be thrilled but would get used to it, but his dad... not good. He asked me to not tell him becuase he's got to live in the room too and his dad can be totally freaking nuts. I don't like lying to my mother--she knows my boyfriend but not AS my boyfriend--and I'm thinking about telling her and letting her decide weather or not to tell him.


Thanks for giving me a place to vent.

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