Seeing my ex again tonight - help

[samross]

I'm really down today. No reason - - just feel myself sliding down. My friend called and said the new artowrk for our CD was in and he had talked to everyone (including my ex) and they all want to use three different sets instead of just the one I came up with. It doesn't hurt my feelings but it hurts knowing that everyone else has the freedom to talk to her but I have to maintain NC until this evening. Last week she avoided saying goodby to me which really hurt so I'm kinda dreading tonight. I guess I'll just be civil and not mean to her (not that I would anyway) and just leave peacefully when it's over and not make an issue out of it. For those that have a choice about being around your ex, I can honestly say avoid it if you can because it's killing me.

[drum4god]

I am feeling you Samross. I see my ex in church every Sunday, and its torture. As hard as it is, just prepare your mind before you see her.

 

Our hearts usually follow our mind, so do your best to say to your mind.

I am the prize. She is the one who is missing out. She is the one hurting, and she is regretting the breakup. I know its hard, and in some ways your are faking it, but its much better than walking around like a hurt puppy dog.

 

You don't want her to feel pity, you want her to feel that spark and attraction again. Its not guaranteed it will happen, but it coming off confident, and strong will increase your chances.

 

With that said, its tough, and I admire your strength to hang in there. I am sure she is admiring it also.

[samross]

thanks, man. sometimes it just seems to get harder. one thing i'm guilty of is telling myself that seeing her is working for me becasue deep down i have this dream that things will work out for me and her but it is only a dream. you're right about what she sees. i know it does make a difference but i wish there was some way to gauge where i stood with her but i know there isn't.

[Caterina]

I am feeling you Samross. I see my ex in church every Sunday, and its torture. As hard as it is, just prepare your mind before you see her.

 

Our hearts usually follow our mind, so do your best to say to your mind.

I am the prize. She is the one who is missing out. She is the one hurting, and she is regretting the breakup. I know its hard, and in some ways your are faking it, but its much better than walking around like a hurt puppy dog.

 

You don't want her to feel pity, you want her to feel that spark and attraction again. Its not guaranteed it will happen, but it coming off confident, and strong will increase your chances.

 

With that said, its tough, and I admire your strength to hang in there. I am sure she is admiring it also.

 

Why don't you just go to a different church?

[samross]

Was the post for drum4God or me?

[Caterina]

Was the post for drum4God or me?

Sorry, I was hiijacking wasn't I.

[drum4god]

Why don't you just go to a different church?

 

I am not leaving. I love it too much. It took me for years to find a good church. I also very involved (I am the main drummer for the music), I have a lot of friends there.

 

That is what makes it tough. I already lost my girlfriend. I don't want to lose my church.

 

But I don't want to highjack Samross' thread. Be strong brother. You can do it.

[samross]

Thanks. It's amazing. I can get up in front of a thousand people and play without one butterfly. At practice she is always the last one to come in and I can feel my heart sink when I hear her come through the door. I try to avoid eye contact and then when I loo up she's looking at me with a big smile and always says hi. I melt inside like wax on a hot stove.