Is dating your ex ex a good idea.

[Massari]

well here is what it is.. I broke up with my ex a month ago. after being in a miserable relationship for 8 months. I have been talking to my first gf again after that and she is single now. for valentine's day I just asked her to be my date and she agreed. is this a good idea? ppl who know my story about her .. know how much it took out of me to move on. But why do I wanna see her again?

she is a great girl and smart.

any advice here appreciated alot.

[Iceman26]

I don't think that hanging out with her is a bad idea, but let me ask you a question.

 

Are you going out with her to help ease the pain from your recent breakup or are you going out with her because you feel there could still be something there?

[flower99]

I dont' know about her at all but if it took so long to get over her, than No I don't think it's a good idea...But it depends what was the reason for the break up?

 

Why do you want to see her again? I'm guess because it's comfortable & she knows you & you her. So you don't have to start from scratch with someone else. Basically it's easy & safe

 

Do you have feelings for her again?

[hockeyboy]

I've done something similair. I dated a girl for about a year and we've been broken up for about 2.5 years now. It was a pretty bad breakup and we didn't speak for a while afterwards. For the past few years we have talked and met up occasionally as friends.

 

I recently asked her on an actual date and she agreed. I'm not really sure why I did it, but I do recognize her qualities that attracted me years ago. I think we have both done things we regret, but I also think we've both let go of the past. I'm not sure anything could work between us, but I thought I'd give this a shot and just go one 1 date and take it from there.

 

Have you and this girl let go of your past relationship? I don't really believe in getting back together, I think you start a relationship from scratch. What happened with this girl in the past needs to stay in the past...can you do that?

[Massari]

Tknak you all so much,

 

Are you going out with her to help ease the pain from your recent breakup or are you going out with her because you feel there could still be something there?

 

 

I can tell you why. our break up was a bad one. she broke up with me back in april and I didn't know why (well I kinda know. we moved on too fast.. it was too good to be true, my first relationship so obviouslyt I was excited). she just distanced herself from me. and now that Italked to her. she said it was the pressure from her parents against a bf and the fact that I have a persian background.. but then she went out with this other guy 2 months after us broke up and she regreted it ever since. I treated her better and over all a better bf. SO I am guessing we always thought what was the possibility if we would have gone out more and became more serious. we went out for a month and a half back then. p.s we never slept together.

[CharLit]

I don't think there are any generalisable rules about this: it works for some people, it doesn't for others, it depends on reasons, circumstances, ability to let go of resentment etc.

 

If it makes both of you happy to be with each other or just date, I don't see why you shouldn't. However, if either of you still feels pain or anger about the other, it might not be such a good idea. If you want to make a fresh start, you have to be able to leave the bad parts of the past behind you.

 

Is your Persian background a problem for her, or for her parents? If the former, that might be a red flag...

[Hope75]

Massari,

 

Do you think if you start dating again that pressure from her parents about your cultural background will cause more problems?

[Massari]

Massari,

 

Do you think if you start dating again that pressure from her parents about your cultural background will cause more problems?

it was mostly her dad as her mom liked me.. i don't really know if anything ever gonna happen between us.....I hope it would,

[DizzyDoris]

Well me personally, ive had bad on/off relationships in the past so now i tend to go forwards and not backwards, but thats just me!

 

I suppose if you give it another try and it doesnt work out, you wont be left wondering "what if?" and you never know it might work out this time. Its up to you at the end of the day, if you want to take her out, go for it!

[Massari]

exacty. that "what if" made me ask her out again. and see how things go. I am just gonna go with the flow. I am not ready for anything serious anyways since I just came out of relationship.