concert tickets dilema

[tigercub]

My girlfriend recently decided she needed to "give our relationship a break", which basically ment she was dumping me. Her mum died a year ago and she's still coming to terms with it. I have given her as much support as she needs but she's worried she is confusing feelings for her mum with feelings for me. She said she's confused and needs time to think. She has been in Canada for two weeks. She planned the trip to get back in time for a concert, which she bought us tickets for as my christmas present, and was especially chosen since the concert was on valentines day.

 

So, do I give her the tickets back because I'm not going on my own or with a friend as it would remind me too much of how I miss her. Or, do I go with my friends good-looking flatmate (who wants a one-off romantic date but not a relationship), in the hope she gets jealous and realises she still cares about me.

 

I really want to get back together with her. I miss her so much.

[robowarrior]

I think its rediculous that she is making you suffer, its not your fault that her mother died right? And for all you know it might take whole her life to get over it. Life is too short to wait, so don't wait for her, move on and date other girls. She can't blame you for that, since she is the one who pushed you out of her life. Tnx but no tnx, you have to continue with your life. So don't dwell on her, pack your bags and move on to the best possible future imaginable.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA tigercub, great to have you here...

 

Well, this is a tough one...

 

My Mom is still alive so I can't imagine what your ex is going through. Perhaps she was very close to her Mom and the death was sudden, painful, tragic, etc. Things like that can really mess someone up on deep levels for a long time...

 

And it sounds like she didn't actually break up with you? It sounds like you are equating "taking a break" with "breaking up" but she didn't actually say that? What did she say to you specifically?

 

At any rate, the driving emotions here are her's relating to her Mom's death and those for you and your feelings of love for her. Depending on her feelings for you now and if/how she is progressing with specific steps towards getting over the death of her Mom, e.g., therapy, etc. there may be hope here I think...

 

At the very least, there is absolutely no need to make her jealous or otherwise add to her emotional troubles right now. That wouldn't be a good way to express your love for her. You can stay in this a little while longer and see what direction it takes or cut it clean, no need to play games with her especially given the circumstances here.

[Skippy]

she needs room to think. She just said it, so give her the room to think. Playing games NEVER works in the long term.

If she figures out that she wants you and you are still single then go for it. Clinging on for someone that doesnt know what they feel for you and playing games does NOT work.

Give her the room to think.

As for the tickets, if she gave them to you as a christmas gift, it is yours to do with it. Go and have fun but dont invite the other girl just to TRY get your EX jealous cos you are only hurting yourself and a possible good relationship

[friscodj]

Oh yeah...I forgot to address the specific "ticket" issue...

 

I don't know man, usually I advocate and support a hard line approach in situations like this, but here in this specific situation given these circumstances and how you presented them, for some reason I get the feeling you should go with her and have a good time together...that's what my gut tells me...I don't know why but I think you should do it...

[valiantv]

She planned the trip to get back in time for a concert, which she bought us tickets for as my christmas present, and was especially chosen since the concert was on valentines day.

Is she still coming back for the concert? If she has actually broken up with you, by all means invite the good-looking flatmate, but for the right reason! Don't do it just to get your girlfriend jealous! She might get jealous, but she'll also get pissed off - with you - which will be even worse since she is already feeling quite low because of the mother. I can't envisage a situation where she will find she loves you more and will happily compete for your affection against the flatmate. You need to think it true, what would you do if it was the other way around? So if you're going with the flatmate, let go of your girlfriend.

 

If you hold out hope with getting back with your girlfriend, don't go with the flatmate!

[sleex]

DO NOT GO WITH SOME OTHER PRETTY GIRL TO MAKE HER JEALOUS. She is already feeling enough pain with the loss of her mother, you don't want to make her feel even worse, do you?

 

Maybe you should suggest she come back for the concert? If she doesn't then maybe you should just not go, or go with some of your friends. As for trying to get her back I'd let her have her time. Keep in contact with her and remind her that you're there for her whenever she needs you. This, in time, she will eventually realize the differences between her feeling the loss of her mother and how she feels for you. If in a few months time nothing has changed, maybe you should start thinking about moving on. It takes time, just be patient. I wish you well!