i neeed desperate help!~

[pig_tails]

Hi people!

 

Issue 1.

 

I don't know where to begin but anyway.. i'm 22, I've been working at a dentist for almost a year and i became good friends with the dentist who's 29 (in that friendly/family type sort of way) and we just liked hanging out..laughing etc.. so we ended up going out.. its been 3months now.. but very very intense!!..

 

We see each other almost everyday.. and his just someone totally different to who i thought he was. He lives on his own, doesn't have many friends..as they are all married etc..,his family lives far away.. so i guess his a very lonly person. He always gets sad when i meet my friends for dinner or have to go home early to have dinner with my family.. working with him everyday is not enough.. he expects me to be with him constantlyy!!! his always saying he loves me...20 times a day.. he buys me things.. which i really do not care for.. i tell him not to buy it.. then he'll feel rejected and get all cut up..

 

i just couldn't deal.. and wanted to end things but i just felt so sorry for him... but couple days ago... i tried to do it.. after a night out with friends i just had the guts to do it.. and it full backfired.. he said that he thinks we're drifting apart because for a week i've been seeing my friends, and no time for him... oh my gosh.. so i said.. yes i guess we have drifted.. i just don't think its right anymore.. and... he went crazy on me.. saying his going to kill himself.. (i actually feel he will do it because his been depressed and he has no life going for him..except the dental surgery which stresses him outt sooo much)... so i was freaking out.. didn't know what to do.. and told him his being a stupid idiot.. but he kept crying and saying if i don't love him.. he doesn't want to live no more etc.. what am i suppose to do in that situation~??? i was losing it.. crying.. thought he was bluffing.. but anyways.. .he told me he'll watch over me.. and started talking crap.. i was justt soo worried.. but just left him alone..hoping he wont do nothing. Next day he calls me 40 times.. tellin me to come over his house because his all numb.. his head is hurting because he been banging his head against this glass thing..

 

so i told him.. okay.. i'm not breaking up with you.. (so i can just calm him down...what am i suppose to do?? i was so scared he was going to lose it agains)... and said i want to work somewhere else though...

 

so then.. he still went crazy.. i told him.. it strresses me out so much.. we fight constantly.. etc.. he just doesn't get it.. he says if i loved him i would stay and help him out.. ... what the....??

 

but i was firm and said.. no...so i gave him my 2 weeks notice.. but still he tells me to work just 1 day so we don't drift.. he tells his parents.. all 3 of them trying to make me stay in the surgery.. IT FEELS LIKE I'M IN PRISON!!

 

anyways.. he says fine.. i can quit.. but i can't work at another dentist!... OH MY GOSH!!! this guy really wants to ruin me right?? I feel like i cant breathe!!.. i'm scared if i run away his going to go nuts and kill himself..because his that crazy... (he needs evereything in order, can't go to public toilets...only his own..his majorly obsessive compulsive)..

 

but.. i do care for him still.. not in that romantic sense.. but sort of like a family love type way....

 

I don't know what to do nomore........ i felt like calling the cops on him if he said he'll kill himself one more time.. and when he said.. his always nice and kind to people but in the end they treat him back like sh*t and the world's going to pay.. yes.. i was scared then..

 

But strangely... after a certain cool down period.. his full in denial.. and acts as if nothing happened~!!.... like NOTHING at all... and i'm scared to bring it up again.. because my emotional stability right now is out of whack!!... because i couldn't deal... me being the anti-drug girl who's never touched any sort of drug.. i did ecxtasy and pot 2 days ago.. i feel like my life is falling apart!! and i'm just so lost in it!!!

 

what am i suppose to do~??

 

Issue 2

 

Following on from the above.. during all the caos.. i've been hanging out with a guy friend (his 22).. who turned out he likes me.. and i who.. am in need of some support & normal affection.. we met each other alot in the past week.. (i did the drugs with him), and felt like life's exciting again.. because he raves and loves partying.. but now.. he thinks me and my dentist has broken up and thinks we're going out.. (he kissed me a couple days ago.. and i know i shouldn't have done this but i kissed him back..).... i'm not a person who cheats at all! i have always been faithful.. but..this time around.. i feel so lost... i don't know who i am anymore...

 

At work.. i'm hiding who's calling.. and tell the dentist i'm meeting a girlfriend when i'm meeting this guy.. because he'll flip and probably say he'll kill himself..

 

this other guy.. has issues too.. i think his adhd... lol.. short temper.. etc.. and treats people like crap sometimes.. but anyways i stand up for myself and do not take that... & lastnight i told him.. this is not on anymore.. and his like sorry sorry.. etc.. then goes fine... be like that..never liked you anyway etc..

 

then he calls this morning..saying sorry..lets meet up etc.. then fine yeah.. i met him.. then he was just being the biggest smartass.. so i just had enough... he says sorry.. then says his had enough etc.. (i wasn't cut up or anything.. didn't feel anything when he said lets break the whole thing..)..so we went our separate ways..

 

then he calls and says.. please lets start over i'm so sorry etc...

 

What the.................. i do not know what's wrong with me... and him and the dentist...

 

I just want to run away and get away from everything..!!!

 

What do i do~!???????

 

PLEASE HELP ME>>>.. any adviceee or anything.. will be great~!!!!

 

please!!

 

Thanks!!

[birdgirl]

Issue 1.

 

You gave your two weeks notice, right? I think you should get out of there. He can't stop you from working at another dentist.

 

Also, did I read correctly that you were in contact with his family? The next time he talks suicide, call his family. Or if you need to, have the police to a wellness check on him.

 

The sooner you get out of there, the better... it's NOT good for you.

 

Issue 2.

 

The second guy sounds like bad news, too.

[marriednlost]

if the guy is threatening suicide, it's only because he has seen that threat make you stay in the past. chances are, he won't really do it, and if he does, he would have probably done it anyway, even without you in the picture. the next time he plays that card, call the police, then wash your hands of it. quit your job, and don't look back. you can't let him guilt you in to staying around. YOU are not responsible for his mental health. it's not your job to keep him alive. that's his job, and he's being very manipulative by trying to make you feel like it's your responsibility to make sure he doesn't off himself. totally sick.

 

the other guy? lose him too. he sounds like a loser who wants to play head games with you. drugs aren't cool, either. that will lead to a whole bunch of new problems for you. problems that will make the crazy dentist pale in comparison. offload both of these guys, get a new job, and don't date people you work with!

 

good luck to you!

[karvala]

I just want to run away and get away from everything..!!!

 

What do i do~!???????

 

I think you've just answered your own question. Run away and get away from it. Seriously, the second guy clearly has little respect for you, so he's best avoided unless you want a lifetime of that, and the first guy is clearly in need of counselling to deal with low self-esteem issues and strong obsessive tendencies, which have undoubtedly led him to behave in that way. The kindest thing you could do for the first one would actually be to cut all contact, which would give him a chance to heal, and which he clearly doesn't have the ability to do himself. The kindest thing you could do for the second one would be to at least permanently end the relationship, and give him an opportunity to learn the downside of not treating people well.

 

Run. Run fast. Run far.