confused

[Ladydragonflagg]

My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for 2 of those years. We have a 6 month old son together. I am having such a hard time right now. He doesnt respect me and has told me so. He says that I am mean, and that he feel like he has to walk on egg shells around me. This is not a new thing in our relationship, we both seem to have this problem. He is an extremely moody person, always has been, his mother is the same way. Every night when he comes home from work he is in a bad mood. I always have to be the cheery one, the one that says "how was your day honey? are you hungry, ill make you somethign to eat, do you need anything...etc..etc"

 

He will come up to me while I am washing dishes or if I am sitting in the bedroom and start a conversation with me, and right when I think things are good and that we are finally talking and having a good time, he walks away, usually when I am in the middle of a sentance. Like he said what he wanted and he has better things to do than listen to my voice. I ask "where are you going", he will say, "to go play video games" or "to do something on the computer",and I will say, "I was in the middle of a sentance", and he changes his story, to, "I was just going to get some water, i was coming right back"...I am not an idiot, he just said to me he was going to play video games.

 

He blames me for all the problems in our relationship, tells me that I am mean. Well, we only really fight about one thing. We never ever have sex. we havent had sex since my son was conceived, thats almost 16 months. And this was a problem before my son was conceived, before that it was once every 4 months tops, and only if I initiated. If he had a low sex drive, then fine, I would understand that, but I know that he regularly looks at porn and um...satisfies himself on a regular basis, I walk in on it all the time. He will think I am sleeping and I will go and get a drink of water and see him at the computer, looking at some news website with his pants around his ankles, fooling no one! Again I am not stupid! I wouldnt mind if he looked at porn if at least once in a while he was with me, and not the computer.

 

I have contemplated divorce several times, but I just cant bring myself to give up. We always said that we marry forever, like the old couples, we fight and we get over it and this is the only time we will get married...

 

I cant give up because my son is only 6 months old. I am just figuring out how to be a parent, I cant be a parent alone. And to be honest, I do love him, and I cant imagine my life without him. He is the one that I am supposed to grow old with.

 

what do you think? Counceling? self help books? I have talked to him about our relationship again and again and he seems to think that everything that he does is my fault, that his actions are my problem and that he doenst have to change, i just have to be less emotional about things, how do i get through to him?

[MissTee]

Marriage counselling. It sounds like there are a few issues that need to be resolved and I would go to a professional to help you do that.

[birdgirl]

Yup, I agree. Marriage counseling sounds exactly what you need.