punchdrunk225 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 ok i am 15 years old and im in love with a 22 year old? is it wrong? we've known each other for about a 1 1/2 years but im afraid to tell him how i feel. we are really good friends and tell each other everything. i really want to tell him but im scared. he sometimes shows that he might have feelings for me but im not sure if he really does like me. my mother approves of it but no sex. What can i do to make him like me? I am so confused. ](*,) Link to comment
cantexplain Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 It is not necessary for you to do anything to make him like you any more than he already does. I think your mother is right by approving of your feelings of friendship. Any feelings of love or sexual attraction you may have are not wrong, in my opinion. 7 years is not a big difference in age when you are older. But right now there are some pretty big differences in maturity and other factors between a 15 year old and 22 year old. Also, if you and your friend did have sex, he would likely be in for the risk of a whole heap of legal trouble which would follow him his whole life. It does not sound to me that he is showing romantic feelings, but your close friendship is sparking these feelings in you. If you feel that it is difficult to deal with this friendship in a non-sexual way you should let it go until you are both older. Otherwise he is likely to get in trouble and you hurt or even more confused. Link to comment
MacGyverRI Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 To the OP, leave him alone and find someone your own age. You're going to get this guy in bad trouble if you pursue this. Also, if you and your friend did have sex, he would likely be in for the risk of a whole heap of legal trouble which would follow him his whole life. It would be a rape charge, even w/ consent and the sex offender charge would stay with him the rest of his life on his record. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 If you really care about him, you will definitely make sure nothing sexual happens before you are 18. Because it is very likely he could get charged with a crime for that, and have a "sexual offender" label that would follow him for the rest of his life. As you can see, there is a completely different layer here than just a seven-year age gap. He is an adult, but the law still considers you a child. And if you don't take this seriously, than the law is even more right in your case. A mature person would know this is not a good road to go down at all. Link to comment
luvursmile Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I agree with the rest. Persue him in 3 years when you are legal. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 To me age does't matter its just a number.. Link to comment
luvursmile Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 ^ I agree...but when one is considered a child and the other an adult, theres a problem. When the OP is 18 & hes 25....thats ok. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 To me age does't matter its just a number.. That is hardly a good legal defense, I'm afraid to say. Link to comment
Massari Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 my mother approves of it but no sex. What can i do to make him like me? I am so confused. ](*,) This is all you need to know.. usually parents are right. they know who is right for you. and yes you can have a relationship with him and yes no sex. couldn't agree more. and he wouldn't mind if you tell him that you have feelings for him since you guys are that close. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 As far as the age gap I cant say much more than if you two like each other then go for me it but only once youre upon the age of consent where you live(which with googling it's 18 in california). My bf and I started dating when I was 16 and he was 23 but I was legal in my state. At this point even if yall persued dating he could still get into legal trouble whether there is sexual relations or not. Wait 3 more years and if yall still care about each other then persue something then. Dont risk it right now for him. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 This is all you need to know.. usually parents are right. they know who is right for you. and yes you can have a relationship with him and yes no sex. couldn't agree more. and he wouldn't mind if you tell him that you have feelings for him since you guys are that close. Sweety, even if they just "dated" he could still get into trouble seeing as the legal age of consent is 18 where she lives. She really needs to wait until this guy isnt going to get into trouble for just kissing her as im sure the relationship will eventually lead to. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Yeah, she's got three more years before she's legal. I'd be surprised they could keep something strictly platonic until then. It's just playing with fire, in my book. No offense to her mother, but there is no way I would approve any kind of romantic relationship between my 15 year old daughter and an adult male. Link to comment
Massari Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Yeah, she's got three more years before she's legal. I'd be surprised they could keep something strictly platonic until then. It's just playing with fire, in my book. No offense to her mother, but there is no way I would approve any kind of romantic relationship between my 15 year old daughter and an adult male. so even kissing would be considered a crime? hmm didn't know that Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Yes, Him kissing her would be considered a sex crime. Atleast thats how it is here in the State of NC. My best friends cousin went to jail for making "sexual advances"(kissing) to his gf at the time who was 15 when he was 19. It's also hard to believe that a 23 year old male who im pretty sure has been sexually active prior to this day is going to hold out for 3 years because his gf isnt quite legal yet. More than likely they will end up doing it and just trying to hide it. Link to comment
Massari Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Yes, Him kissing her would be considered a sex crime. Atleast thats how it is here in the State of NC. My best friends cousin went to jail for making "sexual advances"(kissing) to his gf at the time who was 15 when he was 19. It's also hard to believe that a 23 year old male who im pretty sure has been sexually active prior to this day is going to hold out for 3 years because his gf isnt quite legal yet. More than likely they will end up doing it and just trying to hide it. I bet its the same here in Canada too. this cashier girl @ work liked me she was 17 so I guess its good that nothing happened! Link to comment
Scout Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I honestly don't know if kissing is illegal or not. Depends on the state. But Massari, my point is can we honestly expect them to leave it at kissing for three solid years? Let's be realistic here, lol. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 ^ I agree...but when one is considered a child and the other an adult, theres a problem. When the OP is 18 & hes 25....thats ok. Yes thats correct Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 The age could be different. That's why it always pays to check before you jump into a relationship with someone under the age of 18. My bf and I way before we started dating when I was 15 researched it all over the internet adn then once I turned 16 and we officially started seeing each other we made sure to go down to the police station and get the information in writing from an official. Thats the only way we would do a nything with each other. Link to comment
Scout Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I also can't help but wonder how emotionally immature a 23 year old person must be if they are resorted to dating 15 year olds. A seven year age gap is no big deal between a 31 year old and a 38 year old because they have more similar life experiences and emotional development by then. But a 23 year old is typically way more mature than a 15 year old, and if he/she is not, then I would be extremely concerned about that, too. An emotionally mature 23 year old would know better than to pursue such a relationship. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I also can't help but wonder how emotionally immature a 23 year old person must be if they are resorted to dating 15 year olds. A seven year age gap is no big deal between a 31 year old and a 38 year old because they have more similar life experiences and emotional development by then. But a 23 year old is typically way more mature than a 15 year old, and if he/she is not, then I would be extremely concerned about that, too. An emotionally mature 23 year old would know better than to pursue such a relationship. I kind of agree to a point but at the same time disagree, does that make sense? LOL . As stated my bf was 23 when I was 16 and we were very compatible with each other not because he was "immature" but because I was mature beyond my years. Still to this day our relationship is awesome and the age gap doesnt come into play at all. We've been together 3 years and have a kid together and to me I dont see age as an issue, especially 7 years as long as both parties are legal and consenting. Because to me you fall in love with someone because of who they are not because of their age, KWIM? Link to comment
Massari Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I also can't help but wonder how emotionally immature a 23 year old person must be if they are resorted to dating 15 year olds. A seven year age gap is no big deal between a 31 year old and a 38 year old because they have more similar life experiences and emotional development by then. But a 23 year old is typically way more mature than a 15 year old, and if he/she is not, then I would be extremely concerned about that, too. An emotionally mature 23 year old would know better than to pursue such a relationship. but she doesn't know that if he infact likes her or not? does she? Link to comment
cantexplain Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Yeah, she's got three more years before she's legal. I'd be surprised they could keep something strictly platonic until then. It's just playing with fire, in my book. No offense to her mother, but there is no way I would approve any kind of romantic relationship between my 15 year old daughter and an adult male. Dear punchdrunk, Scout knows what she is talking about here. Soon it could be too late to feeling like you can be just friends and your wishes for more will frustrate you more. If at any time you don't feel comfortable as just friends while understanding these dangers that the law presents to you and to him - tell your mom about your feelings and confusion. Ask her to help you find other activities and friends so you can get over this 22 year old man. I want you to chase other boys. Three years is a long time to feel this way. Link to comment
pregnantkitty_1985 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 ok i am 15 years old and im in love with a 22 year old? is it wrong? we've known each other for about a 1 1/2 years but im afraid to tell him how i feel. we are really good friends and tell each other everything. i really want to tell him but im scared. he sometimes shows that he might have feelings for me but im not sure if he really does like me. my mother approves of it but no sex. What can i do to make him like me? I am so confused. ](*,) It's normal for you to have a crush on an older guy, but it's not normal if he reciprocates such feelings. If he tries anything inappropriate, then THAT'S wrong, and you need to tell your mother, and she needs to inform the police. Why is a 22 year old hanging around you, anyway? And why is your mother allowing this? Link to comment
pregnantkitty_1985 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 And I agree with Scout, how emotionally mature MUST a man of that age be if he's trying to date 15 year olds? 15 year olds are children to me, and I'm just 21. A real man wouldn't dare go there with you, Original Poster, and if he's a good guy, then sorry, but he won't feel the same. If he's a shady character, then yeah, maybe he would have a thing for you too. Where I live, I certainly wouldn't be surprised to see this happening. Link to comment
Kalika Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 I'm in my early twenties, and I could never EVER imagine sharing my innermost thoughts with a 15 year old, as you say you've done with him.. There's just a huge difference between the two ages.. You should focus more on other people your own age and less on him. If he really does like you, that indicates to me that he has some problems relating to people his own age, and may not be mentally very healthy Link to comment
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