Oh dear

[SadOldMan]

Looks like my ex has been here. Letters sent to my old address have been posted through the letterbox. Why is my heart pounding?

[Locke2121]

Can you tell us what they say?

[SadOldMan]

heheh...Sorry. I didn't mean 'letters', I meant post addressed to me. I was going to go over to the house this weekend to pick them up while she's at her mums (she always goes to see her mum on a Saturday). No point now.

 

(Final two things I need to change address for. Now I shouldn't get any mail at all at the old place.)

[SadOldMan]

I try hard

To put you out of mind

Every night alone

I'm thinking 'bout you

How can I avoid this

Pain without you

I won't cry

I won't be sorry no more

I know that this is something I'll get over

Maybe I can learn to love another

It's just a matter of time

A matter of time

 

Just because I lock myself in my room

It doesn't mean that I'm afraid to talk to

Those people I know that might have you seen you

No return

I keep reminding myself

I won't look back

Won't regret a single moment

I gonna mend this heart inside you've broken

It's just a matter of time

A matter of time

It's just a matter of time

A matter of time

 

Show me the way

They say safety in numbers

I lift up my eyes to the sky

And imagine a crowd

Of hearts that surround me

And give the me courage to die

Were you to weep

And lie at my feet

Then you'd wash all

My troubles away

And imagine the host

Of angels around me

That give me the courage to die

[SadOldMan]

OMG! Today I felt like my head was going to explode. I was getting more and more wound up by the lack of fairness on my exes part regarding the mortgage payments. I just logged onto my bank account and hovered over cancelling the direct debit. Didn't cancel it though. I want to! ;-)

[SadOldMan]

Things are going okay, I guess. I know that I haven't let go and still harbour hopes of a reconciliation with my ex. But it's only been a month since we last had any contact. That's nothing after a 12 year relationship, I know.

My sister went out for a meal with my ex. I know I shouldn't have let her tell me what they talked about, but I did. My ex said to my sister "If I think I've made a mistake, I'll just have to live with it". Same words she said to in the beginning. She said she misses me but doesn't know if that's just because she's lonely or she loves me. I hurt now.

[peteypie]

keep your head up old man , i know the feelings hurt sometime mine do. as i said before drop me a message sometime if you wanna chat. good to catch up with you. you think you are doing so well sometimes then suddenly a small thing knocks you for 6 i know what its like.

[catren]

You sound like you're doing the things that need to be done. Is the house on the market yet?

[SadOldMan]

Catren: yes. Been up for sale for just over a month now.

[Mavis VDSande]

Stay strong!

 

Don't buckle under any pressure

[SadOldMan]

Wow. Had another counseling on Thursday. Before going in, I didn't really feel that much. No anxiety or anything. Coming out I went really down. Just before the session ended, she said to me "you're feeling very vulnerable". I then realised I had just about wrapped both arms around myself.

From then on, I've felt shocking. Thinking about my ex a lot. My sister spoke to her on Thursday. She was going to tell me what they talked about but I told her I don't want to know anything that's going on in my exes life. Any reasons why it's suddenly hit me life a brick after nearly 7 weeks of no contact? I know 7 weeks is nothing after 12 years but the strength of emotions nearly overwhelmed me.

ps. Still nobody interested in the house