He said he loved me and took it back

[nadine_3110]

So Friday night, I decided to finally tell my bf of 9 months that I loved him. I've loved him for about 4 months and I told myself that if I didn't do it tonight, I was never going to do it. So I told him I had to tell him something and it was really hard to say because I was so nervous. Finally, after 15 minutes of silence, I whispered it in his ear. He didn't hesitate to say it right back. It was the best feeling in the world, I have never had someone say that to me. I felt so good. So I said goodnight and I love you again and he said it back and we went to sleep. The next day, I was in such a good mood. Then I realized he had to work tomorrow so I wouldn't see him for awhile again. Got kinda sad at that point but anyway.

 

He packed his stuff and was getting ready to go. He came and hugged me and kissed me and told me he was going to miss me. I was just looking into his eyes, waiting for him to say that he loved me. So he looked into my eyes and I said (and I know I was being too pushy here) so I said, "And?" He then whispered in my ear, "I love you". I said it back then I asked him if he was scared to say it. He said he was and that it was a really big word. I was crushed. He has never said I love you to any girl, and he said it's a word he values. But I really thought it was time to say it, I really thought it was right.

 

It really hurt that he would tell me he loved me and then take it back. He said that he really cared about me and THAT was the truth. But I couldn't help it, my eyes teared up but I did my best to keep that smile on my face. It hurt pretty badly. I just thought he would love me... So now he tells me that he likes me a whole lot and all that, all I say is "I know." Cus he knows how I feel about him.

 

So a little insight would be nice, maybe why he said it and then decided to take it back.

Thanks

[RayKay]

I don't think he exactly took it back as he is just not quite comfortable with it right now. He said himself he has never said it before to anyone...so I think he just said that it meant a lot to him to say, and so it was difficult; and was not ready to start saying it constantly - for some that demeans the meaning of it.

 

Don't pressure him to say it just because you say it...let him say it when he feels like saying it. It should be something he says as he feels it, not as he feels obligated too because you just said it.

 

Do you FEEL like he shows you he loves you in his actions and treatment of you? Because love is more than just words, you know and a lot of women would love to hear it less and FEEL it more.

 

You are both young, and kinda new to this, so give it some time for him to feel comfortable.

 

If in a while, he still seems to run from the words, then talk about it, and figure out whether you have the same goals in this relationship or not, but it sounds like this is still pretty "new" for the both of you.

[Hope75]

I agree with RayKay.

 

I don't get the impression that he took it back, only that he is a little hesitant to say it just yet. Telling someone you love them for the first time is a loaded statement... there really isn't a kind way to respond without saying they love you back.

 

But again I agree that right now what you should pay more attention to are his actions and how he makes you feel... not so much what he says.

[Meow18]

I agree with Raykay and Hope75.

 

I don't think he "took it back". For some people, saying I love you is a HUGE deal. It obviously seems like you understand how important that can be since even you waited 9 months to say it, even though you have felt it for awhile.

 

I don't think he doubts how he feels about you. I mean, do you question whether or not he cares about you and loves being with you? He even said he likes you a lot. And you don't spend 9 months of your life with someone you don't plan on being with for a longer amount of time.

 

I can understand how you feel. But give it some time. Don't push it on him. In his own time he will be able to say those words without being scared. Isn't that what you really want?

 

I know how you feel. Hearing it is a wonderful feeling. But feeling it is way more important than hearing it.

[isabellacantinos]

I went through the same thing, I loved my bf and wanted him to love me, and maybe he did, but it was really hard for him to say.

I think he sort of "discovered" he loved me after a little crisis between us and we were both on the phone crying and when I had to go I said "I love you" and he said "I love you too, I really do" like it had just hit him

 

but even now he still seems to struggle thru that word, rarely.

 

 

I think alot of guys have trouble saying that sentence, its like their giving some part of themselves up or something. once he gets to the stage where he feels confident in saying it then he wont have a problem with it.

 

just give it time

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Well everyone else said it for me so yeah but RayKay has got it right, but saying you shouldnt pressure him inot saying it..

 

I mean wouldnt it be better if he said it randomly or in thr perfect moment insted of you having to get it out of him

[Mavis VDSande]

You can't really put a timeline or know when it's the right time to say "I love you". Please don't pressure him because everytime he sees you he'll always think about it/whether he should say it/if you'll be upset if he doesn't! These things come from the heart, so let it run freely from him, whenever!

 

You can say "I love you" - but when you do, remember you're saying it freely too, because you love him no matter what. It's not something you expect back in return, you love him the way you do which is great!

 

The only time I ever said "I love you" was when I was having an argument with my bf of 3 years and I said it in a "you KNOW I love you (you idiot!)" - kind of tone. I find it so hard to say it. And my bf does too - the closest was one Valentines when he said "I ..... (then came tears) you". And he says he tells me when I am asleep.

 

The main thing is to show you love each other with your actions!!

[sweetheart607]

Yeah i agree with all of the above telling someone you love them is hard its like leaving yourself emotionally naked and vunerable. Think about it it took u four months to say it and then 15 mins of silence and then you whispered it so it was hard for you so it must be differcult for him too. I am all for spontaniousness like isabella said i told by boyfriend by accident before i'd even admitted it to myself sometimes it takes awhile for your brain to interpret love maybe he needs a chance to realise

 

i wonder if you can say i love u too much does it become a cliche? actions are far more important does he act like he loves u?